Supposed to basically just guess where to apply? What are we missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

GMAFB

NP. I am genuinely curious about whether these parents think their kids are going to do just fine in college all on their own.

No, they will be wiping their nose and doing their laundry....GFMAFB person is a the one still making warm milk and making little she/he's bed in the morning after tea and biscuits....pathetic

And you've got it all figured out GMAFB means - oh my god, you think that my kid isn't college ready because they are letting their parents do some of the administrative stuff for college apps? I'm glad to hear that you think that most 17/18 year olds are so mature and can naviagate life so perfectly that if they get a little help from anyone, they are doomed DOOMED for some other path in life. There is still a lot of personal and cognitive growth that occurs in the young adult's life, my dear. Some kids figure it out sooner than others.

Be glad your money paid for the counseling and guidance at your private schools.

No private schools here my DEAR. GMFAB does not mean "oh my God"...actually in means give me a Fu@#ing break which is apropos because your retort is vapid. No one said getting counseling or advisement is taboo, I would encourage it. The issue comes with doing she/he's actual Common App data, if your kid can't give a scatter of colleges they are interested in and do the work to apply than they don't DESERVE it, now GFY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

GMAFB

NP. I am genuinely curious about whether these parents think their kids are going to do just fine in college all on their own.

No, they will be wiping their nose and doing their laundry....GFMAFB person is a the one still making warm milk and making little she/he's bed in the morning after tea and biscuits....pathetic

And you've got it all figured out GMAFB means - oh my god, you think that my kid isn't college ready because they are letting their parents do some of the administrative stuff for college apps? I'm glad to hear that you think that most 17/18 year olds are so mature and can naviagate life so perfectly that if they get a little help from anyone, they are doomed DOOMED for some other path in life. There is still a lot of personal and cognitive growth that occurs in the young adult's life, my dear. Some kids figure it out sooner than others.

Be glad your money paid for the counseling and guidance at your private schools.

I am not the PP you are responding to, but who said doomed? Taking a year off to gain some maturity and independence is not this terrible thing that you are saying it is.

I'm wondering if these parents don't see the correlation between having to strongly nudge your child to do an essay and the fact that they will be at college the following year and have a lot of work to do. How involved do you envision yourself being in your child's college school work?

I think most college admissions officers would say that filling out "administrative stuff" and whatever else we're talking about here should NOT be done by parents. Your child would probably not be admitted if they knew. Like, the colleges would be saying these kids are not college ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

GMAFB

NP. I am genuinely curious about whether these parents think their kids are going to do just fine in college all on their own.

No, they will be wiping their nose and doing their laundry....GFMAFB person is a the one still making warm milk and making little she/he's bed in the morning after tea and biscuits....pathetic

And you've got it all figured out GMAFB means - oh my god, you think that my kid isn't college ready because they are letting their parents do some of the administrative stuff for college apps? I'm glad to hear that you think that most 17/18 year olds are so mature and can naviagate life so perfectly that if they get a little help from anyone, they are doomed DOOMED for some other path in life. There is still a lot of personal and cognitive growth that occurs in the young adult's life, my dear. Some kids figure it out sooner than others.

Be glad your money paid for the counseling and guidance at your private schools.

+1 The reason being first-generation college student is flagged as a big disadvantage in the process is because it is assumed that educated parents who have been through this process are guiding/advising their kids. I assume most of those "I did nothing" parents are actually just outsourcing the advising to their school or a hired counselor. If you truly are completely out of the process and not actually delegating it to others, I feel sorry for your child because parental guidance is expected. And, really, I'd hate to have missed this experience with DS and look forward to going through it with DD. It's a time of real growth and I learned a lot about my normally uncommunicative kid through proofreading his many essays.

[Anonymous]

My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

GMAFB

NP. I am genuinely curious about whether these parents think their kids are going to do just fine in college all on their own.

No, they will be wiping their nose and doing their laundry....GFMAFB person is a the one still making warm milk and making little she/he's bed in the morning after tea and biscuits....pathetic

And you've got it all figured out GMAFB means - oh my god, you think that my kid isn't college ready because they are letting their parents do some of the administrative stuff for college apps? I'm glad to hear that you think that most 17/18 year olds are so mature and can naviagate life so perfectly that if they get a little help from anyone, they are doomed DOOMED for some other path in life. There is still a lot of personal and cognitive growth that occurs in the young adult's life, my dear. Some kids figure it out sooner than others.

Be glad your money paid for the counseling and guidance at your private schools.

+1 The reason being first-generation college student is flagged as a big disadvantage in the process is because it is assumed that educated parents who have been through this process are guiding/advising their kids. I assume most of those "I did nothing" parents are actually just outsourcing the advising to their school or a hired counselor. If you truly are completely out of the process and not actually delegating it to others, I feel sorry for your child because parental guidance is expected. And, really, I'd hate to have missed this experience with DS and look forward to going through it with DD. It's a time of real growth and I learned a lot about my normally uncommunicative kid through proofreading his many essays.

No one here is saying that kids should not be guided or advised, parents should be involved in the process including identifying and visiting schools, in most cases they are paying the bill. The issues comes with the parents picking colleges for said she/he and doing all the work on the common app to apply, that is derelict plain and simple. Be a parent and have the conversation and let your child experience the thrill of doing their own application and own the outcome...this isn't a hard concept people, we are growing out future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

GMAFB

NP. I am genuinely curious about whether these parents think their kids are going to do just fine in college all on their own.

No, they will be wiping their nose and doing their laundry....GFMAFB person is a the one still making warm milk and making little she/he's bed in the morning after tea and biscuits....pathetic

And you've got it all figured out GMAFB means - oh my god, you think that my kid isn't college ready because they are letting their parents do some of the administrative stuff for college apps? I'm glad to hear that you think that most 17/18 year olds are so mature and can naviagate life so perfectly that if they get a little help from anyone, they are doomed DOOMED for some other path in life. There is still a lot of personal and cognitive growth that occurs in the young adult's life, my dear. Some kids figure it out sooner than others.

Be glad your money paid for the counseling and guidance at your private schools.

+1 The reason being first-generation college student is flagged as a big disadvantage in the process is because it is assumed that educated parents who have been through this process are guiding/advising their kids. I assume most of those "I did nothing" parents are actually just outsourcing the advising to their school or a hired counselor. If you truly are completely out of the process and not actually delegating it to others, I feel sorry for your child because parental guidance is expected. And, really, I'd hate to have missed this experience with DS and look forward to going through it with DD. It's a time of real growth and I learned a lot about my normally uncommunicative kid through proofreading his many essays.

please. No one is telling parents not to proofread their children's essays. we are talking about having to physically fill out the applications because the child won't do it, and having to continually send them the essay prompts pleading with them to do their essays. And let's be honest, it's probably more than that.

[Anonymous]

Proofreading my DD's essay is a nightmare I'm dreading. I'm not judging parents who do that I just fear it will be stressful to know I could make some content improvements but I will need to keep my mouth shut.

How do colleges put much weight on essays when so many are ghostwritten or mega edited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Proofreading my DD's essay is a nightmare I'm dreading. I'm not judging parents who do that I just fear it will be stressful to know I could make some content improvements but I will need to keep my mouth shut.

How do colleges put much weight on essays when so many are ghostwritten or mega edited?

They don't place a TON of weight on it. It's one soft factor. They love to hear authentic voices and are well aware that many essays are less than authentic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

My child doesn't take practice tests and doesn't prep. No interest. See how that works? Not all kids are motivated.

[Anonymous]

‘I feel sorry for your child because parental guidance is expected.”

Of course I provide parental guidance! But inserting completed essays into the common app for your kid is not “guidance.” Looking up essay prompts and sending them to your kid is just crazy. If you can’t see this, I don’t know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of parents that lie. I was watching an interview of one of the less well known kids caught up in the cheating scandal. He said his parents told all his friends that he did all the work to get into Yale himself. While most parents don’t have the money to bribe like these folks many parents lie about SAT and GPA or initiative. While that was obviously wrong, it’s not unethical to lead your kid to the water.

My smart kid was not interested in researching colleges. She wanted only ONE school and that’s probably where she will end up but it would have been foolish to have had her apply only to the ONE school.

What I did was ask her questions like do you want warm or cold weather etc? Do you want a big or small school? What’s else is important to you? I found schools in our budget that matched her desires. I told her to apply to 8 of these schools. Other than favorite she chose ones that generally required less extra effort. I did all the administrative paperwork filled in her grades SRAR etc and sent her emails with Essay prompts. I bugged her daily last August to get them in. Essays prompt responses were completely hers but I inputted them into the portal. She had a 34 ACT and 3.79 GPA UW.

Speechless.

I was the PP at 14:26 and 15:08...I seriously can't believe that parents think that is OK. Do they fill out job applications too? When little she/he starts college in the next 12 months are they going to be writing their paper's too? I mean cut the leash people, if your child isn't motivated, intelligent, savvy or capable of navigating this process with minimal guidance than maybe they need to find another path in life.

Love the attitude here. Poster assumes that we're all "baked" by 17 years old. Maturity, ambitions are set in stone. No one changes thereafter, if you aren't motivated now you never will be.

Idiot.

DP...it's not about being baked as a 17 year old, but you have to at least put your kid in the oven and see what happens. (metaphorically speaking)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The advice about recognizing bias seems important. I went to an Ivy and my husband went to a huge state school. Our son really wants a small LAC which to us is not worth the price and would not have fit with our personalities.

I'm trying not to base my opinions of schools on what they were like 20+ years ago!

Carmen Ambar, the President of Oberlin, did a podcast today with Kara Swisher of the Sway on NYT site that posted today. And she did an amazing job articulating what you pay for in college and why. She also discussed how college communities make decisions in COVID SNs where higher education is heading post COVID and what can be done well virtually and what just can’t. She’s a great communicator and a greater leader and very in tune with pricing and ROI in education and that intangible thing people who like LaCs have trouble expressing.

I would encourage people who are unfamiliar to LaCs to listen, in order to lay it out. It isn’t about why you choose Oberlin, per se. it’s more about what LaCs bring to the table in the 21st century. For us, the value is clear. I respect that for others it’s a waste of time and money. But, if you are starting a college search and can listen to one thing, this is it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

My child doesn't take practice tests and doesn't prep. No interest. See how that works? Not all kids are motivated.

What is wrong with you? The previous poster was offering really helpful advice that applies to a lot of kids and families. Because you don't have a motivated child, she shouldn't share tips for success? Okay got it.

[Anonymous]

Why isn’t your kid doing the heavy lifting? Hell if my parents even thought twice about researching where to send us. And this was before the internet so you gasp had to go to a library to look stuff up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My number one piece of advice is for your child to have a really solid set of test scores (SAT or ACT) by the end of junior year. This often means first taking practice tests to figure out which test gives a higher percentile ranking for your child. Then, have your child prep and take a first official test August before junior year, fall of junior year, or December at the latest. If necessary, do more prep and take final SAT or ACT in the spring (probably March, long before the AP crunch). If you don't have highest possible test scores by the end of junior year, you are flying blind, even with test-optional. Test-optional benefits primarily 4.0 unweighted students who test poorly. That is a small subset of students. Good luck!

My child doesn't take practice tests and doesn't prep. No interest. See how that works? Not all kids are motivated.

What is wrong with you? The previous poster was offering really helpful advice that applies to a lot of kids and families. Because you don't have a motivated child, she shouldn't share tips for success? Okay got it.

Yes, I wasn't trying to be judgmental, just to give the heads up about what worked well for our family and for others. If your child truly hates standardized tests, you could simply make attending a test prep class a requirement anyway or you could lay out how much you have to pay for college, perhaps $25,000 per year. That's enough for an in-state university. If your child wants a private, he has to earn merit money. That usually takes strong test scores. Find a way to put a carrot at the end of a stick. Best wishes!