I need to make my life significantly easier -- "hacks" to make life, and parenting life, easier?

[Anonymous]

I try and find little things that either give me joy, or don't make me angry - and concentrate on making sure those things get done. For me - I need a peaceful morning - and some time for myself before the kids wake up, so I prioritize the following:

1. Use the programming function on the coffee maker so it's ready to go when I come downstairs
2. Kitchen spotless before going to bed - so I don't have to clean in the morning
3. Lunches/snacks made night before
4. roomba runs every night
5. Clothes for next day laid out - although this isn't a thing anymore - it really helped in the before times

I treasure the 30-45 minutes I get in the morning before the kids come down, to slowly drink coffee, watch/read news, etc.

You might have different things that make you happy, or don't induce rage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People regularly suggest paper plates. That never sounds like it will make life significant easier to me, but I will try it. We already do a lot of screen time. Give me other suggestions, please.

Not exactly the same type of advice, but it is a suggestion to make life easier that works.

1. Make peace with imperfection. Work is never ever going to end. So, settle in and make peace with the process and understand it may be messy sometimes.

2. Stop caring about other people’s opinions. As an empath this was a hard practice for me, but once I realized I could still care about people but not be so impacted by their responses, it cleared a huge mental space that was formally occupied with anxiety or worry.

3. Practice learning how to allow your emotions to inform you, but allow your free will to control your response. Seek factual information from a neutral 3rd party on the power of constructive thinking. Construct your thoughts to make life easier and the outcome will sustain itself indefinitely. Despite crisis.

4. Be kind to yourself as a parent. We set arbitrary criteria all alone on what successful parenting looks like. We can jazz it up and serve it pretty on a platter, or hide it from the world. But it really boils down to 3 things: loving your child, protecting your child, and teaching them to one day do the same one day. It will look different for all of us. Refer to #1-4 again if you get stuck.

💞

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People regularly suggest paper plates. That never sounds like it will make life significant easier to me, but I will try it. We already do a lot of screen time. Give me other suggestions, please.

Seriously, it's almost exactly the same movement, whether you put it in the trash or into the dishwasher!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

You just haven't found the right nanny. I never had to get my kids bundled up and out the door in the morning. I didn't have to take up any of my precious morning family time with drop off. I didn't have to pack or unpack any bags or wash any bottles. I didn't have to waste any of my precious evening family time with pick up. I didn't have to take time off if my kids were sick, and they weren't even sick much because they weren't in daycare. My nanny made my kids breakfast, lunch, and snacks, including deciding WHAT to make. She did all the kids' laundry, sheets, dishes, and had the house tidy and de-cluttered when I walked in the door every evening. If I were running late at the office every now and then -- NBD -- she was flexible in the evenings. She was never late, pretty much never sick. She took the kids on outings, formed regular weekly playgroups with other nannies in the neighborhood, and had plenty of ideas to keep the kids stimulated. "Managing" her was a total breeze. (When my kids turned 3, I did put them in part-time preschool for added socialization and structure and activities, and nanny did the drop off and pick up for that!) She also got my kids on a later nap schedule than that offered at most daycares - so kids were actually pleasant in the evenings.

The "commotion" you are enduring is a factor of the pandemic and suddenly being WFH when your home was probably not optimally set up for such with little ones around. I agree that would be stressful. But it's of course not part of the normal nanny versus daycare calculus. I'm also a huge proponent of preschool (like I said, I put my kids in part-time starting at age 3), but a good nanny made MY LIFE easier, hands down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Independent playtime! My 12 months old plays by himself in his crib for 30 mins twice a day, and has since he was 6 months old. That extra hour a day is amazing.

Also, clean to music. It soothes the soul. We don’t play it enough at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a set two-week meal rotation, one grocery list for each week in an app. No need to think about meals or your grocery list.

Let your house be messy.

Don't fold laundry.

This post made my palms sweat. What do you do with your laundry if you don't fold it?!?

DP. You leave it in a laundry basket and pull stuff out as you want to wear it.

NP. I hang up all clothes that I wear. The rest just goes in their particular drawer not folded. Like the leggings drawer, the PJ drawer, the workout drawer, the underwear drawer, sock drawer. Laundry is super duper easy here. And hanging keeps everything looking nice.

Np, WOW. Impressed. Have lived the 'leave it in a basket' method but have not tried this one. Excited to try it!

+1. You have motivated me!!!! Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best thing I heard on DCUM was “only touch something once”. Like, don’t put a plate from the table to the sink when you can put it in the dishwasher. Don’t put shoes on the steps to go upstairs: just bring them up.

It’s so silly but that mantra has helped me keep a tidy house!

I’ll have to try this.

I’ve always cleaned corner to middle by piles. Then I move the piles accordingly. Then I put piles in the spaces.

Eg - cleaning in room with a mix of toys, juice cups, socks, school work, papers, doll house pieces, etc. - I move all of them into a huge pile in a clear tub. Everything. Counters, floor, bed clean. Easy to wipe. Then I go through the storage bin of random mess and sort to piles. Clothing one pile. Toys another. Hair another. Things not for kid room another. The.mn I take those piles and move them accordingly. Sometimes I just throw them in and organize later. All socks and clothes, shoes? Goes into dresser drawer. All hair items? Bathroom drawer. Papers? Stack and out with books on bookshelf. I like that the space looks cleaner quicker and it is easier to organize in a clean space for little bitty pieces. I also purge toys frequently in a donation bin. I give it a month. If she doesn’t ask, they get donated.


Also, kitchen trash bags on every bedroom door. I have the bathroom trash cans that are very pretty but they’re small and annoying. I clean and use them now to hold brushes, blow dryer, combs, maybe even flowers!

[Anonymous]

1. Take a bath and go to bed early tonight. Sleep helps everything. As long as you have one clean-enough outfit for tomorrow, it will be fine.

2. Give up on some things. Let your kid pick out their own clothes, no matter how mismatched. Order takeout more often. Pull the clean dishes straight from the dishwasher for a few days. If it seems overwhelming, and it's not directly impacting health and safety, let it go for a few days.

3. Downsize stuff. Hide half the toys- chances are DS/DD won't even notice. You can donate them later or rotate a few in as a surprise.

4. Don't bring new things into the house, if you can avoid it. They inevitably end up on the kitchen counter, adding to the chaos. Throw out junk mail before it gets to the house if you can. Stop ordering things but food and the bare essentials for a few weeks.

Also, if you are working from home, take an hour mid-day and do some stuff before you are tired and busy with your kid. Email will still be there when you get back. I put on training videos while I prep dinner, so i can say I'm still working. If you are in meetings over dinner, it's totally fair to take a mid-day hour to do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

You just haven't found the right nanny. I never had to get my kids bundled up and out the door in the morning. I didn't have to take up any of my precious morning family time with drop off. I didn't have to pack or unpack any bags or wash any bottles. I didn't have to waste any of my precious evening family time with pick up. I didn't have to take time off if my kids were sick, and they weren't even sick much because they weren't in daycare. My nanny made my kids breakfast, lunch, and snacks, including deciding WHAT to make. She did all the kids' laundry, sheets, dishes, and had the house tidy and de-cluttered when I walked in the door every evening. If I were running late at the office every now and then -- NBD -- she was flexible in the evenings. She was never late, pretty much never sick. She took the kids on outings, formed regular weekly playgroups with other nannies in the neighborhood, and had plenty of ideas to keep the kids stimulated. "Managing" her was a total breeze. (When my kids turned 3, I did put them in part-time preschool for added socialization and structure and activities, and nanny did the drop off and pick up for that!) She also got my kids on a later nap schedule than that offered at most daycares - so kids were actually pleasant in the evenings.

The "commotion" you are enduring is a factor of the pandemic and suddenly being WFH when your home was probably not optimally set up for such with little ones around. I agree that would be stressful. But it's of course not part of the normal nanny versus daycare calculus. I'm also a huge proponent of preschool (like I said, I put my kids in part-time starting at age 3), but a good nanny made MY LIFE easier, hands down.

+1,000

Hence why we still have a nanny even though the kids are in elementary school now. Obviously the job changes over time, but pretty much everything my friends who don't have nannies complain about isn't something I have to worry about. Of course, bad nannies would make life horrible, but a good one is like having a SAHM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pffffft to "hacks". The things that have made my life easier are:

1) Nanny instead of daycare
2) Cleaning lady
3) Grocery delivery
4) DH who does his fair share
5) Short commute (this meant giving up space, paying more $$$ for our home)

The only "hack" type thing I'd say is dry shampoo, ha!

I have not found this to be the case at all. We’ve had to switch to a nanny b/c the pandemic and I really miss my kids’ preschool. Now I’ve got extra people in my home all day generating extra commotion and wear and tear on my house, plus I have to provide paid leave/deal with taxes/pay for a workers comp policy, etc. We’ve gone through a couple in-home providers now and they each have their own issues (poor time management, not carrying out the activities I asked them to do, etc.). Maybe I haven’t found the perfect match, but I’ve talked to friends with similar issues. Honestly I find managing an employee to be a headache I don’t want. This has made me realize how much I never want to move into management!

Before covid we had a really nice montessori school a mile down the road that offered a nice meal plan. I could drop my kids for the day and they’d do really cool activities and crafts that I didn’t have to prepare for. It cost about as much as a nanny, but I think quality out of home care (esp if you work at home) is GOLDEN.

You just haven't found the right nanny. I never had to get my kids bundled up and out the door in the morning. I didn't have to take up any of my precious morning family time with drop off. I didn't have to pack or unpack any bags or wash any bottles. I didn't have to waste any of my precious evening family time with pick up. I didn't have to take time off if my kids were sick, and they weren't even sick much because they weren't in daycare. My nanny made my kids breakfast, lunch, and snacks, including deciding WHAT to make. She did all the kids' laundry, sheets, dishes, and had the house tidy and de-cluttered when I walked in the door every evening. If I were running late at the office every now and then -- NBD -- she was flexible in the evenings. She was never late, pretty much never sick. She took the kids on outings, formed regular weekly playgroups with other nannies in the neighborhood, and had plenty of ideas to keep the kids stimulated. "Managing" her was a total breeze. (When my kids turned 3, I did put them in part-time preschool for added socialization and structure and activities, and nanny did the drop off and pick up for that!) She also got my kids on a later nap schedule than that offered at most daycares - so kids were actually pleasant in the evenings.

The "commotion" you are enduring is a factor of the pandemic and suddenly being WFH when your home was probably not optimally set up for such with little ones around. I agree that would be stressful. But it's of course not part of the normal nanny versus daycare calculus. I'm also a huge proponent of preschool (like I said, I put my kids in part-time starting at age 3), but a good nanny made MY LIFE easier, hands down.

I’m the PP not enjoying having a nanny and you’re right that the pandemic is probably a huge part of it. It also doesn’t help that I really thrive on alone time and enjoyed working from home alone. But I guess I don’t see the huge issue about pickups and drop offs unless you have a long commute or crazy hours or something. It was maybe 10 min round trip to preschool and then my house was nice and quiet all day long. I never had any issue being able to pick up by 4:30/5 (DH and I usually swapped off to stagger hours). Sigh, I am just missing my normal routine. I also don’t have a big house so that doesn’t help (we’re close-in in a walkable neighborhood instead of buying bigger farther out).

I have several other friends who have complained about their nannies too though and the nanny forum is full of complaints, so I don’t think it’s all that rare that having a nanny can make life complicated. I guess if you can find a unicorn nanny with no personal issues they drag to work who rarely call out and are on standby to stay late, and you aren’t home all day dealing with it, then it’s probably nice.

But after this, if we have a third, I’m going back to daycare/preschool for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Take a bath and go to bed early tonight. Sleep helps everything. As long as you have one clean-enough outfit for tomorrow, it will be fine.

2. Give up on some things. Let your kid pick out their own clothes, no matter how mismatched. Order takeout more often. Pull the clean dishes straight from the dishwasher for a few days. If it seems overwhelming, and it's not directly impacting health and safety, let it go for a few days.

3. Downsize stuff. Hide half the toys- chances are DS/DD won't even notice. You can donate them later or rotate a few in as a surprise.

4. Don't bring new things into the house, if you can avoid it. They inevitably end up on the kitchen counter, adding to the chaos. Throw out junk mail before it gets to the house if you can. Stop ordering things but food and the bare essentials for a few weeks.

Also, if you are working from home, take an hour mid-day and do some stuff before you are tired and busy with your kid. Email will still be there when you get back. I put on training videos while I prep dinner, so i can say I'm still working. If you are in meetings over dinner, it's totally fair to take a mid-day hour to do stuff.

This is really great advice. I always want to take a bath every night and unwind but it barely ever happens.

[Anonymous]

1. go to sleep earlier than you think you need to
2. try to wake up 15-20 minutes earlier than you need to - when I don't do this, I feel so rushed and that's the tone for the rest of my day. It helps to get up earlier than your kid as others wrote, but just never worked for me (she was always up 15 minutes after me no matter what time)
3. streamline meals - meal prep on weekends, pick your recipes and repeat until you get sick of them
4. skip bathtime! she prob doesn't need one every night. or give her the quickest rinse while she's standing
5. melatonin - for your kid! occasionally, it helps them get drowsy and gets you the finish line of bedtime so much faster

[Anonymous]

Lots of good suggestions on this thread!

The things that have helped me the most are:

-Having help during the morning so that my departure to work and school drop off is smooth (nanny does drop off, packs snacks preps lunches)
-Meal prep - batch of shredded chicken, ground beef and/or tofu to throw into lunches or dinners; sheet pan meals with roasted vegetables; overnight oats for breakfast
-Audio books/hands free phone conversations while cleaning/folding laundry/meal prep/emptying dishwasher

[Anonymous]

Cut up fresh veggies as soon as you buy them. You'll always have a healthy snack on hand. Add those to any unhealthy meal (or takeout!) and you'll feel ok!

Make lunches in batches. My dd doesn't notice or care is her pbj sandwich has been in the fridge for 3 days. I usually make 3 at a time.

Cleaning the bathroom while the kids are in the bath. I also taught my daughter to take a shower by herself before she was 4. She didn't do it every day, and she didn't get as clean as I could have gotten her, but soap on hair and body was good enough most days.

Family clean up time. We put on clean up music and everyone tidies (I have a 4yo and 2yo and our house is small, so kitchen/living room/playroom are all basically one space).

Certain toys have parts that come apart bc they're cheap. Superglue. We have this small toy ice cream cart that the kids love but they pull apart all the accessories (the menu, the horn, etc, all of which are supposed to be fixed to the toy but we're falling off constantly. Glueing them reduces small parts to pick up. Or just avoid those toys in general

Set up the room for what we'll want ready in the morning. Pour milk into cups (my kids have milk first thing). Have oatmeal sitting in water/milk in a bowl overnight in the fridge. Have coffee maker ready to go or auto programmed. Clothes, shoes, outdoor gear laid out and ready on school mornings. Any morning "grab and go" is helpful.

We also do lots of playground dinners. I often pick up the kids from daycare/school and hit the playground, have a simple sandwich picnic dinner outside. No clean up! Come home, bath, bed.

Minimize evening routine/expectations. We read in the morning and after dinner, but not as part of the bedtime routine. Once dinner is over it's straight to bath, pjs, teeth, bed. Once they're in pjs its maybe 15mins before we're out of their room and done for the night.

[Anonymous]

Minimize. I don’t buy stuff and keep an uncluttered house. After my kids are asleep it takes less than 10 minutes to get my house back in order. Quarterly I go through toys and donate those that don’t bring my kids joy. I try to keep a very small wardrobe for myself.

Recently I got burned out meal planning, shopping and cooking. My husband and I had tried to be in charge different nights a week but it was to complicated. We just started switching weeks. He meals plans, shops and cooks one week and I do the next. He typically does the same simple meals (grilled chicken, rice, broccoli or breakfast for dinner) and I don’t complain about what or how he does it.