School requirements re: sexual assault in preschool

[Anonymous]

Op, Did your DD tell you why they were left alone this long? I’m wondering why admin is adamant nothing happened. In our preschool there was always more than one teacher supervising. I’m imagining that’s why the school is having a hard time believing the story?

[Anonymous]

It’s kind of irrelevant though, 17:35. There are half a dozen things that should have happened and the school has dropped every ball and their staff needs major training if they think they don’t have to report the allegation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you handled it well. No way would I return my child to that school.

I hear you, but if we take her out of a school she loves, she could get the message that reporting leads to punishment. This is particularly the case when I can't find a similar school midway through the school year.

She could go back to her old preschool/daycare but she doesn't like that school and thinks that going back there is a punishment even on PD and days off of school.

But, if you leave her in the same school/classroom then you are putting her at further risk and it undermines your case.

Exactly. OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, How are you doing and what did you decide?

OP here. We had another meeting with the school. This one went better but one of the lead administrators still does not believe anything happened. I am baffled by that they think we would be wasting our time (or theirs) if we were not absolutely certain that something happened. I am flabbergasted that it is 2020 and people's knee-jerk reaction to a report of sexual assault is total and utter disbelief. I am frightened but also don't know what to do in the middle of the school year. I'm calling around the privates to see if there are any mid-year openings but no luck so far.

The school said they are committed to training their teachers/staff. I hope that is true.

They still won't commit to moving our daughter to another classroom, and we are not sending her back to school unless they do. We're at a stalemate.

Oh, my heart breaks for your daughter and your family, OP. I’m so, so sorry. If you’d consider a daycare, I’ll recommend ours: Penn Quarter Kindercare at 9th and D NW, near Archives. They should have a preschool space available, if not now then soon. 202-637-3269. I don’t know if it’d be feasible but I feel like DC should compensate you for tuition if you do need to change schools. I guess that’s where lawyers come into play. My heart is with your family.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

Update. She's moved to another classroom and the transition has been fine. She's happy and has adjusted well. We were offered a spot at private school but decided that too much change would be jarring for her. We believe she is safe now and her new teacher is really amazing. My faith in the school is definitely shook and I have PTSD every time I walk into the building. I don't think that will ever change. I hope we are able to leave the school next year. We are doing the lottery and applying for private.

My daughter is doing better but I need a play therapist to help her work through any unresolved issues. Can folks here recommend a play therapist for a very young child?

[Anonymous]

I hope you are so pursuing legal action against the school because they can get into a lot of trouble for failing to report this incident to CPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Update. She's moved to another classroom and the transition has been fine. She's happy and has adjusted well. We were offered a spot at private school but decided that too much change would be jarring for her. We believe she is safe now and her new teacher is really amazing. My faith in the school is definitely shook and I have PTSD every time I walk into the building. I don't think that will ever change. I hope we are able to leave the school next year. We are doing the lottery and applying for private.

My daughter is doing better but I need a play therapist to help her work through any unresolved issues. Can folks here recommend a play therapist for a very young child?

Carole McNealy did play therapy--not sure if she still does https://www.caredash.com/doctors/carole-mcnealy-lisw-washington-dc

Also, can Safe Shores or Children's refer you to someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand how OP’s daughter wants to stay at the school, but a three year old can’t understand how her safety is at risk at that school.
OP, please find a safer place for your child.

If you’re still reading OP, this. It completely makes sense that you want your child to be happy, but her safety is paramount. You should no longer trust the judgement of the adults who run her school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Update. She's moved to another classroom and the transition has been fine. She's happy and has adjusted well. We were offered a spot at private school but decided that too much change would be jarring for her. We believe she is safe now and her new teacher is really amazing. My faith in the school is definitely shook and I have PTSD every time I walk into the building. I don't think that will ever change. I hope we are able to leave the school next year. We are doing the lottery and applying for private.

My daughter is doing better but I need a play therapist to help her work through any unresolved issues. Can folks here recommend a play therapist for a very young child?

Hi, OP. PP here who previously offered the daycare suggestion. I don't have any therapist suggestions to make. If your pediatrician can't offer one or two recommendations, perhaps the Parenting-Special Concerns or Health and Medicine threads on this site might return better results?.

I did just want to offer my two cents as the victim of childhood physical abuse: you are absolutely doing the right thing in seeking therapy for your daughter. While every person is different, I can say from my experience that the trauma of childhood abuse can and often does manifest itself in unhelpful and sometimes harmful ways later in life. Please allow your daughter to see a therapist for as long as she wants or needs to. She may stop for a while and need to go back to the therapist later in life, and that's okay--just know to expect that possibility. (And without meaning to seem mercenary about this, if you do decide to pursue legal action, be sure to keep receipts for her therapy sessions and also document how much time off of work you've had to take to help your daughter. That information will go to any damages you might seek.)

I can't speak to whether keeping her in her current school is helpful or harmful (and others probably shouldn't opine on that, either--you know your child best). But you should ask her therapist about it, once you find one you both like and trust. You may also want to see a therapist just for yourself. This is an enormous burden for a parent to bear, and you need a safe place where you can dump out all of the concerns and negative emotions you might have. My heart remains with you and your family.

[Anonymous]

you also need to name the school. Other parents may be willing to hold school leadership accountable even if you aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you also need to name the school. Other parents may be willing to hold school leadership accountable even if you aren't.

Why do you want to out the OP and her DC? Charter school is small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you also need to name the school. Other parents may be willing to hold school leadership accountable even if you aren't.

Why do you want to out the OP and her DC? Charter school is small.

If my kid was at this school I would definitely want to know that teachers and admin are accusing victims of lying, are breaking the law by not following mandated reporting laws, not training staff on on how to handle and removing this girl as if she is being punished. These are fireable offenses. you wouldn't care if your kid attended this school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you also need to name the school. Other parents may be willing to hold school leadership accountable even if you aren't.

Why do you want to out the OP and her DC? Charter school is small.

If my kid was at this school I would definitely want to know that teachers and admin are accusing victims of lying, are breaking the law by not following mandated reporting laws, not training staff on on how to handle and removing this girl as if she is being punished. These are fireable offenses. you wouldn't care if your kid attended this school?

If your kid were at that school--and parents and teachers liked and trusted you enough to talk with you--you'd probably have already heard about it. Leave this parent alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you also need to name the school. Other parents may be willing to hold school leadership accountable even if you aren't.

Why do you want to out the OP and her DC? Charter school is small.

If my kid was at this school I would definitely want to know that teachers and admin are accusing victims of lying, are breaking the law by not following mandated reporting laws, not training staff on on how to handle and removing this girl as if she is being punished. These are fireable offenses. you wouldn't care if your kid attended this school?

If your kid were at that school--and parents and teachers liked and trusted you enough to talk with you--you'd probably have already heard about it. Leave this parent alone.

Teachers and administrators had better the hell not be talking to parents about other kids and parents. I know it happens at some charters, but it is inappropriate and unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Update. She's moved to another classroom and the transition has been fine. She's happy and has adjusted well. We were offered a spot at private school but decided that too much change would be jarring for her. We believe she is safe now and her new teacher is really amazing. My faith in the school is definitely shook and I have PTSD every time I walk into the building. I don't think that will ever change. I hope we are able to leave the school next year. We are doing the lottery and applying for private.

My daughter is doing better but I need a play therapist to help her work through any unresolved issues. Can folks here recommend a play therapist for a very young child?

Safe Shores has excellent therapists that should be covered.