If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

It's clearly not clear since people say never unless they are at school or sleeping. Like how about sports, play dates, watching TV, down the street at a friends house.

[Anonymous]

With the advent of smart phones, I am always available to my teen via text, day or night.

I am a SAHM after having worked prior to having children for 18 years. Working outside of the home was easier!

Can't wait for her to go to college. Humblebrag (or regular one), she got into Northwestern!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

What are you talking about? I work, and I'm not on duty with my kids while they're at school. People are responding to the woman who said that because she's not lying on a beach, she's actively taking care of kids. She is a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With the advent of smart phones, I am always available to my teen via text, day or night.

I am a SAHM after having worked prior to having children for 18 years. Working outside of the home was easier!

Can't wait for her to go to college. Humblebrag (or regular one), she got into Northwestern!

Uh, ok.

[Anonymous]

I would say usually an hour a day during the week when I leave the house to workout; usually this is super early like 5 am or after kids are in bed in the evening. Other than that, random times here or there when someone takes all 3 kids because I have a dr appt or something else that needs to be done without kids. The majority of the time I’m on for all the childcare during the week, and on weekends we do stuff as a family so it’s pretty shared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

She said supervising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

It's clearly not clear since people say never unless they are at school or sleeping. Like how about sports, play dates, watching TV, down the street at a friends house.

I think as another PP pointed out, rarely (or, never) would all my kids be at drop-off events or playdates at the same time. So, no, I'm not "off" because my kid has soccer one day or a playdate the next, because I'm still with my other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

What are you talking about? I work, and I'm not on duty with my kids while they're at school. People are responding to the woman who said that because she's not lying on a beach, she's actively taking care of kids. She is a SAHM.

The teachers at your teen's school will mark them present or absent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.

This is true for almost everyone.

It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.

Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.

Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.

If you are going out of town on business travel you are not on call all the time. You just aren't. Either your husband has responsibility for the kids or you have flown a relative in or you have a nanny.

Some of us have jobs that don't require travel. We are on call, all the time, just like you say you are, and we also work. So cry me a river.

I'm the PP who had business travel. 2 weeks in 3 years. That's it. And, yes, grandparents assisted for most of that.
So, fine. I wasn't "on call" for 2 out of 156 weeks.

That is two weeks more than I've had in the past 19 years, DP. But, your situation was one reason that dh and I decided that it would be good for me to SAH in the first place. It was not easy for us financially at first but after a point it started to pay off. Again, there is no one "right" way. What was hard for you when they were little probably became a lot easier for you as your kids got older. You now have a 2 career family and your kids are less work - there is definitely a benefit to doing things the way that you have done them.

My child is 3, so I wouldn't exactly call it "less work" just yet. But, yes, there's pros and cons to both approaches. I guess my whole point was that, at least in my experience and that of nearly all of my friends with children of similar age, one parent is the "on call" parent, whether that's a SAHP or not. With the exception of 2 weeks' worth of business travel for me, my DH has never once had to worry about leaving work early or being called out of a meeting to pick up DD. I don't have the same luxury.
But, since I've actually caught a break for 2 weeks in that regard, my opinion is irrelevant.

Is that due solely to the nature of your and your husband's jobs? On days that my husband is in a meeting at the Pentagon, for example, he's not going to be available to run and pick the kids up. However, on days that I'm meeting with clients or in court, I am also not available to run and pick the kids up. On normal days we are both available and then it's a discussion about who can do it more easily. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's him. So if your husband *could* leave work to pick the kids up, you need to let him know that that's part of being a parent. If he's a pilot and can't land a plan to be able to get to school, that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.

This is true for almost everyone.

It’s not true for her husband. Or mine.

Well, its likely true for all moms whether they sahm or not, we're all on call.

Agreed. DH and I both WOH. I'm the one on-call, always. In 3 years, he's taken one sick day home with DD, and that occurred while I was out of town on business travel.
I'll admit it is a bit messed up (especially because he earns more leave than I do), but that's how it goes.

It doesn't have to be how it goes. Have a conversation with your husband. Make him man up. I don't understand this dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

So why on earth did you quit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

Oh please. So when your kids are at school you just sit in your car in the parking lot and hold on to your phone in case it rings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

+1000

PP, you need to step away from the internet and go back to all the active parenting that you do all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

+1000

PP, you need to step away from the internet and go back to all the active parenting that you do all day long.

You’re on the internet, too. But - whoa what a slam!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.

+1000

PP, you need to step away from the internet and go back to all the active parenting that you do all day long.

You’re on the internet, too. But - whoa what a slam!

Shouldn't you be focused on your kids? Someone might need a ride!