If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.

I totally agree. I have 24-hour live-in nannies, but it’s so frustrating because 10 or 15 times a year, I have to leave my Soul Cycle class early bc one of the kids is sick. I never get a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

SAHM martyr in full effect, ladies and gents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.

I totally agree. I have 24-hour live-in nannies, but it’s so frustrating because 10 or 15 times a year, I have to leave my Soul Cycle class early bc one of the kids is sick. I never get a break!

I am not sure what you mean by this. I am a doctor, and I was leaving patients who were already sitting in my waiting room. Like is said, this isn’t a thing that is hard about staying at home, but it is one of those things that makes it harder to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.

I totally agree. I have 24-hour live-in nannies, but it’s so frustrating because 10 or 15 times a year, I have to leave my Soul Cycle class early bc one of the kids is sick. I never get a break!

I am not sure what you mean by this. I am a doctor, and I was leaving patients who were already sitting in my waiting room. Like is said, this isn’t a thing that is hard about staying at home, but it is one of those things that makes it harder to work.

Okay, good for you. Go start another thread about it. OP was asking SAHM’s a question about how many hours they are not actively caring for children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.

I totally agree. I have 24-hour live-in nannies, but it’s so frustrating because 10 or 15 times a year, I have to leave my Soul Cycle class early bc one of the kids is sick. I never get a break!

I am not sure what you mean by this. I am a doctor, and I was leaving patients who were already sitting in my waiting room. Like is said, this isn’t a thing that is hard about staying at home, but it is one of those things that makes it harder to work.

Okay, good for you. Go start another thread about it. OP was asking SAHM’s a question about how many hours they are not actively caring for children.

Whatever. The OP was vague, and asked about being responsible for children. I don’t think these comments were out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

[Anonymous]

^and, yes, I know working moms do that, too. My mom worked and I recall all too well how she was always "in the know" about us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

DP, but I also mentioned this early in the thread. I have four children. One is autistic. I probably have to go into the school unexpectedly about 10-15 times a year for something (kid had a behavior problem, kid has a fever, kid is injured on the playground, etc). It is one of those things that is not a big deal when you are staying at home, but can certainly affect your career when you are working.

I totally agree. I have 24-hour live-in nannies, but it’s so frustrating because 10 or 15 times a year, I have to leave my Soul Cycle class early bc one of the kids is sick. I never get a break!

I am not sure what you mean by this. I am a doctor, and I was leaving patients who were already sitting in my waiting room. Like is said, this isn’t a thing that is hard about staying at home, but it is one of those things that makes it harder to work.

Okay, good for you. Go start another thread about it. OP was asking SAHM’s a question about how many hours they are not actively caring for children.

Whatever. The OP was vague, and asked about being responsible for children. I don’t think these comments were out of line.

No, she was not vague. Her title says “if you sah,” and she specifically states school as an example of the off-duty she is talking about. I’m sure she understands that at least one parent/namny/other adult needs to be available in case of emergency even when the child is at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

Great observation. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

I'm one of the WOHMs above. I never claimed I do round-the-clock childcare. I claimed that I was always "on call", while my DH wasn't. There's a difference.
Obviously, I'm not providing hands on childcare while my DD is at daycare. My response was to the PP (PPs?) who addressed the issue of always being "on call".
Two different issues...likely should be a separate thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t a thread about being “on call.” OP asked about times you are supervising children.

That one PP derailed it with her weird post about how she can't go to the beach during the day and drink a margarita. Just like, you know, .... everyone.

The point is, DP, that when you are the one "on call" you are not free to do anything that you want. You can do stuff around the house and yard, you can exercise, you can run errands and volunteer. It's not like you are free to take day trips. Plus, whatever you do has to fit within the family budget so it's not like you can take sailing lessons while the kids are in school or even expect to take college classes because if something comes up you'll be the one dealing with it.

It's not like you are retired or on vacation, you aren't earning a paycheck yourself. You also miss out on the perks of working like holiday parties, awards/recognition, office lunches, work dinners, going for cocktails with coworkers and that sort of thing. That is not to say that all working moms get those sort of perks but many of them do. I likely would have had I continued to work.

PP (“this thread is not about...”). I am a SAHM. I see what you are saying, but come on, you know there’s a difference by being on-call vs supervising your child. I really think that’s not what OP is asking about. She’s talking about actively supervising children. Nothing against your situation, but I think it’s just a different topic.

Yes, the hands on heavy duty childcare changes as they get older. There is A LOT less of that. You are still not free to go and do whatever you want to do because you are the one keeping tabs on your older kids whether they are directly in front of your nose or not. The duties change but the role is still the same.

Very few 5 year olds ditch school, can't say the same thing about teens. If dh is at work concentrating on meetings and I'm off having a spa day, no one is filling that role.

When did OP ever say anything about “doing whatever you want”????
This thread is amazing. The responders who are actually sahm’s with active childcare responsibilities are counting naptime and making dinner as “off-duty,” meanwhile working moms and sahm’s whose kids are all in school are claiming that they do round-the-clock childcare....

My working husband is not the one making sure that our teenager filled up the car with gas and has made it from point A to point B or is handling 'X' problem in which kind of way. The physical demands of childcare are not great now but the mental/emotional energy is amped up big time. Our kids are relatively easy and responsible kids, too. But they are kids...and they need monitoring.

If your kids are still little, you probably won't really appreciate what I'm talking about until your kids are older. You'll see.

Omg, I am not doubting you. You obviously have a chip on your shoulder. Clearly OP is talking about PHYSICALLY taking care of children.