Cultural meaning of baby/child ear piercing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^It is not trolling to state a simple fact: you can remove earrings, but not the holes/scars left behind by piercing.

Ok, so whatever, you may be able to see them. The kid will also likely have various scars, etc. If they are that hung up on holes left from piercings as opposed to anything else, they have bigger issues.

Are you one of the posters who won't cut her kid's hair or fingernails or vaccinate them because that "violates their bodily integrity" and they can't consent?

No, I'm not. But keep reassuring yourself that only extreme/crazy people think it's unwise to pierce someone's ears--a totally unnecessary and purely decorative/sex-specific thing to do--before they are old enough to to want that for themselves.

I think this is an issue on which reasonable people may disagree in good faith. Yes?

Yes, and I never said otherwise. I didn't issue a criticism, I asked a WHY--Do adults who pierce their children's ears consider that the child might grow up to be a person who doesn't want them, and if not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, and I never said otherwise. I didn't issue a criticism, I asked a WHY--Do adults who pierce their children's ears consider that the child might grow up to be a person who doesn't want them, and if not, why not?

That goes for lots and lots of parental decisions. You do your best, and you hope that your child, as an adult, won't hold it (whatever it is) against you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, too OP.
I had mine pierced at 13, and my three girls are all desperate to have theirs pierced earlier.
I’ll be the one to say: it’s trashy to pierce babies’ ears.

I never get this. You guys keep saying it, but no one ever has a good answer as to why its trashy. SO I think it's trashy to attach that thought to someone's baby.

They aren't your ears to pierce. Modifications to your daughter's body should be made at her discretion when she is old enough to make such a decision. I'm not sure how you can do something like this and then turn around and tell her that her body belongs to her. You've already shown very clearly that it belongs to you and to society.

Do you feel this way about haircuts as well? Honest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, and I never said otherwise. I didn't issue a criticism, I asked a WHY--Do adults who pierce their children's ears consider that the child might grow up to be a person who doesn't want them, and if not, why not?

That goes for lots and lots of parental decisions. You do your best, and you hope that your child, as an adult, won't hold it (whatever it is) against you.

Right, and again, I never said otherwise. What I did was ASK a question: did you or did you not consider that your child may not want holes in their ears someday; and if not, why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, too OP.
I had mine pierced at 13, and my three girls are all desperate to have theirs pierced earlier.
I’ll be the one to say: it’s trashy to pierce babies’ ears.

I never get this. You guys keep saying it, but no one ever has a good answer as to why its trashy. SO I think it's trashy to attach that thought to someone's baby.

They aren't your ears to pierce. Modifications to your daughter's body should be made at her discretion when she is old enough to make such a decision. I'm not sure how you can do something like this and then turn around and tell her that her body belongs to her. You've already shown very clearly that it belongs to you and to society.

Do you feel this way about haircuts as well? Honest

NP. Haircuts have a purpose--trims and cuts keep hair healthy and manageable. There are less tangles and potential problems with trimmed hair; fewer split ends, etc. Haircuts actually promote healhty hair growth. So haircuts have a health and grooming purpose; there are no benefits or purpose for pierce ears, other than cosmetic, usually gendered preference.

You do get that, right? Honest question.

[Anonymous]

There are of course cultures where this is the norm, but one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that people of African descent form keloid scars more easily than people of European descent.

So, it is more common in Black communities to pierce a baby's ears early in part because it lessens the risk of scarring, rather than waiting until the child is older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, too OP.
I had mine pierced at 13, and my three girls are all desperate to have theirs pierced earlier.
I’ll be the one to say: it’s trashy to pierce babies’ ears.

I never get this. You guys keep saying it, but no one ever has a good answer as to why its trashy. SO I think it's trashy to attach that thought to someone's baby.

They aren't your ears to pierce. Modifications to your daughter's body should be made at her discretion when she is old enough to make such a decision. I'm not sure how you can do something like this and then turn around and tell her that her body belongs to her. You've already shown very clearly that it belongs to you and to society.

Do you feel this way about haircuts as well? Honest

Of course not. Haircuts are not permanent. Surely you can see this difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are of course cultures where this is the norm, but one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that people of African descent form keloid scars more easily than people of European descent.

So, it is more common in Black communities to pierce a baby's ears early in part because it lessens the risk of scarring, rather than waiting until the child is older.

See - THAT is interesting and actually makes some sense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come from the culture that doesn’t pierce ears in children. We truly believe that ear lobes have a lot of receptors that are “connected” or “responsible” for a lot of internal organs. Hence, part of the routine massage is to massage ears to stimulate blood flow in that organs. The belivebos that of you pierce a hole in the ear lobe when the body still developing, you can unintentionally affect certain organ (child’s vision, for example). I have not seen any scientific support for this theory, but have not pierced my daughters ears when they were young.

Which culture is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious, too OP.
I had mine pierced at 13, and my three girls are all desperate to have theirs pierced earlier.
I’ll be the one to say: it’s trashy to pierce babies’ ears.

I never get this. You guys keep saying it, but no one ever has a good answer as to why its trashy. SO I think it's trashy to attach that thought to someone's baby.

They aren't your ears to pierce. Modifications to your daughter's body should be made at her discretion when she is old enough to make such a decision. I'm not sure how you can do something like this and then turn around and tell her that her body belongs to her. You've already shown very clearly that it belongs to you and to society.

Do you feel this way about haircuts as well? Honest

Of course not. Haircuts are not permanent. Surely you can see this difference?

Actually not really. I have a 15 year old (DD) and a 5 year old (DS) and both have never had hair cuts because I don't find them necessary. (Both have very long hair.) And IME, ear piercings will close if left alone. The argument that you use that hair cutting is different, I just don't agree with. Both decisions come from the parent deciding how they want their child to be presented to the world. Would balding the child be okay? I mean what you consider an acceptable hair cut maybe unacceptable to me (i.e white people that adopt or have African girl children and cut their hair really short because they don't know how to deal with coarse/curly/kinky hair--I personally think that is abuse for a black female child--but I digress). We can agree to disagree. No one still has explained why it is considered "trashy". I mean if you don't like it, fine, don't do it for your kids, but to consider it trashy, to tie that thought to a baby is just as "trashy", so own that as well.

And don't say "Well, I'm not calling the baby trashy" is a lie that you are telling yourself so that you don't feel bad about calling a baby trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s very common in many cultures. African, middle eastern, south Asian, and some Asian.

It’s just not very common among whole people.

So when someone says it’s trashy, I just think they don’t like what brown people do.

What do you mean by "whole" people?

Is that some new culture reference?

Obviously they meant white people. Typo

Then she's wrong. It's very common for Italians, and last I checked, they're considered "white."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^It is not trolling to state a simple fact: you can remove earrings, but not the holes/scars left behind by piercing.

Ok, so whatever, you may be able to see them. The kid will also likely have various scars, etc. If they are that hung up on holes left from piercings as opposed to anything else, they have bigger issues.

Are you one of the posters who won't cut her kid's hair or fingernails or vaccinate them because that "violates their bodily integrity" and they can't consent?

No, I'm not. But keep reassuring yourself that only extreme/crazy people think it's unwise to pierce someone's ears--a totally unnecessary and purely decorative/sex-specific thing to do--before they are old enough to to want that for themselves.

PP is an example of mental illness at its finest. Get help, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^It is not trolling to state a simple fact: you can remove earrings, but not the holes/scars left behind by piercing.

Ok, so whatever, you may be able to see them. The kid will also likely have various scars, etc. If they are that hung up on holes left from piercings as opposed to anything else, they have bigger issues.

Are you one of the posters who won't cut her kid's hair or fingernails or vaccinate them because that "violates their bodily integrity" and they can't consent?

No, I'm not. But keep reassuring yourself that only extreme/crazy people think it's unwise to pierce someone's ears--a totally unnecessary and purely decorative/sex-specific thing to do--before they are old enough to to want that for themselves.

PP is an example of mental illness at its finest. Get help, PP.

NP. If the PP is crazy for thinking it is wise to wait until a child is old enough to know whether she wants pierced ears to pierce her ears, then I have a mental illness and need help, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^It is not trolling to state a simple fact: you can remove earrings, but not the holes/scars left behind by piercing.

Ok, so whatever, you may be able to see them. The kid will also likely have various scars, etc. If they are that hung up on holes left from piercings as opposed to anything else, they have bigger issues.

Are you one of the posters who won't cut her kid's hair or fingernails or vaccinate them because that "violates their bodily integrity" and they can't consent?

No, I'm not. But keep reassuring yourself that only extreme/crazy people think it's unwise to pierce someone's ears--a totally unnecessary and purely decorative/sex-specific thing to do--before they are old enough to to want that for themselves.

PP is an example of mental illness at its finest. Get help, PP.

NP. If the PP is crazy for thinking it is wise to wait until a child is old enough to know whether she wants pierced ears to pierce her ears, then I have a mental illness and need help, too.

No, I agree with you on that. But if someone has a lasting negative impact on their happiness and wellbeing because of two earring holes from mommy and daddy? That’s mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^It is not trolling to state a simple fact: you can remove earrings, but not the holes/scars left behind by piercing.

Ok, so whatever, you may be able to see them. The kid will also likely have various scars, etc. If they are that hung up on holes left from piercings as opposed to anything else, they have bigger issues.

Are you one of the posters who won't cut her kid's hair or fingernails or vaccinate them because that "violates their bodily integrity" and they can't consent?

No, I'm not. But keep reassuring yourself that only extreme/crazy people think it's unwise to pierce someone's ears--a totally unnecessary and purely decorative/sex-specific thing to do--before they are old enough to to want that for themselves.

PP is an example of mental illness at its finest. Get help, PP.

NP. If the PP is crazy for thinking it is wise to wait until a child is old enough to know whether she wants pierced ears to pierce her ears, then I have a mental illness and need help, too.

No, I agree with you on that. But if someone has a lasting negative impact on their happiness and wellbeing because of two earring holes from mommy and daddy? That’s mental illness.

Who said anything about a lasting negative impact on their happiness and wellbeing because of holes?

About being forced to wear dresses and perform/behave "like a girl" when that's really not who you are--yeah, that's different. Two small holes is not what the PP with her SIL example was talking about. At all. She was talking about forced and unrelenting gender performance. Do you get that?