What does "single parent" mean?

[Anonymous]

The above person specifically said, "It's particularly a jerk move when the person with the objectively easier situation looks at the person with the objectively harder situation and says, "Yep, I'm there too. I can relate."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The above person specifically said, "It's particularly a jerk move when the person with the objectively easier situation looks at the person with the objectively harder situation and says, "Yep, I'm there too. I can relate."

NP. The thing is, it's not about easier or harder. It's about having similar circumstances.

My DH travels 50-75% of the time. I have a friend whose husband is in the military. One time I was complaining about the adjustment period when DH returns home. She said, "now you get what I go through." I think when people say things like that, it's more about them wanting to find a common thread, something to bond over, rather than having a pissing contest.

I'm not a single parent. I have a DH who travels for weeks at a time though (and isn't always reachable by phone for emergencies). To say I don't understand anything about solo parenting is disingenuous. I don't get it all and I do get breaks from solo parenting, but I don't get to ship the kids off every other weekend or whatever the custody agreement states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above person specifically said, "It's particularly a jerk move when the person with the objectively easier situation looks at the person with the objectively harder situation and says, "Yep, I'm there too. I can relate."

NP. The thing is, it's not about easier or harder. It's about having similar circumstances.

My DH travels 50-75% of the time. I have a friend whose husband is in the military. One time I was complaining about the adjustment period when DH returns home. She said, "now you get what I go through." I think when people say things like that, it's more about them wanting to find a common thread, something to bond over, rather than having a pissing contest.

I'm not a single parent. I have a DH who travels for weeks at a time though (and isn't always reachable by phone for emergencies). To say I don't understand anything about solo parenting is disingenuous. I don't get it all and I do get breaks from solo parenting, but I don't get to ship the kids off every other weekend or whatever the custody agreement states.

The fact is that you absolutely are LIKE a single parent PART of the time. No, you're not like one all the time, but you have some similarities. Then there are groups that different parents would fit into. For example, parents that are poorer relate to each other on similar issues (even more so when they have even more similar issues - multiple children, sick children, a parent is ill, a lost job, etc.) OR parents of sick children can all relate OR homeless parents can relate and those where one party is doing the majority of the childraising for whatever reason can bond. I realize from this thread that those that are single all the time don't want to admit that, but it is true. If the mom in the above post has to make the major medical decisions on her own 50-75% of the time, then she CAN relate to what you're going through on some level. Is it precise...no, but on some level she can relate to you.

[Anonymous]

To me single parenting when you parenting without a partner. I woukd include divorced parents in this.

I refer to solo parenting as parents who have a partner but the partner is away on business trips or is deployed etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me single parenting when you parenting without a partner. I woukd include divorced parents in this.

I refer to solo parenting as parents who have a partner but the partner is away on business trips or is deployed etc.

It took 7 pages to get a sensible post like this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me single parenting when you parenting without a partner. I woukd include divorced parents in this.

I refer to solo parenting as parents who have a partner but the partner is away on business trips or is deployed etc.

It took 7 pages to get a sensible post like this one.

Sensible? They are synonyms ya ding a ling!

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/solo

She's making words up! Solo parenting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me single parenting when you parenting without a partner. I woukd include divorced parents in this.

I refer to solo parenting as parents who have a partner but the partner is away on business trips or is deployed etc.

It took 7 pages to get a sensible post like this one.

Sensible? They are synonyms ya ding a ling!

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/solo

She's making words up! Solo parenting!

Not to the semanticists of DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above person specifically said, "It's particularly a jerk move when the person with the objectively easier situation looks at the person with the objectively harder situation and says, "Yep, I'm there too. I can relate."

NP. The thing is, it's not about easier or harder. It's about having similar circumstances.

My DH travels 50-75% of the time. I have a friend whose husband is in the military. One time I was complaining about the adjustment period when DH returns home. She said, "now you get what I go through." I think when people say things like that, it's more about them wanting to find a common thread, something to bond over, rather than having a pissing contest.

I'm not a single parent. I have a DH who travels for weeks at a time though (and isn't always reachable by phone for emergencies). To say I don't understand anything about solo parenting is disingenuous. I don't get it all and I do get breaks from solo parenting, but I don't get to ship the kids off every other weekend or whatever the custody agreement states.

The fact is that you absolutely are LIKE a single parent PART of the time. No, you're not like one all the time, but you have some similarities. Then there are groups that different parents would fit into. For example, parents that are poorer relate to each other on similar issues (even more so when they have even more similar issues - multiple children, sick children, a parent is ill, a lost job, etc.) OR parents of sick children can all relate OR homeless parents can relate and those where one party is doing the majority of the childraising for whatever reason can bond. I realize from this thread that those that are single all the time don't want to admit that, but it is true. If the mom in the above post has to make the major medical decisions on her own 50-75% of the time, then she CAN relate to what you're going through on some level. Is it precise...no, but on some level she can relate to you.

PP here. To be clear, I was shocked my military spouse friend compared our situations, because I thought I had it easier. My DH is home 1-2 weeks a month. Hers is away 1-1.5 years at a time. I just never thought about us being in similar shoes.

I guess it's all about perspective, and as parents we probably have more similarities than differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people seriously fighting over whether divorced parents with an ex who makes some financial and time commitment to a child deserve to be called single parents? That is just sad.

This and I'm not a divorced, widowed and I didn't have a child out of wedlock. Generally, those people have the same types of issues. My husband is gone for work about 21 days a month...as in across the country, for years and years like this. I have these same issues.

Does "I have these same issues" mean you have the same issues as the divorced be widowed parents because your husband travels for 21 days? FFS.

Yes, I do. Let's see: older kid is in a play at school at 2 and younger kid has the flu and needs to be home. Issue is no one can watch older kid. Two kids have games and I can't get them to both. I have a migraine and kids have homework. I have zero...zero...help with dishes, laundry, banking, discipline, childcare, transporting, sick visits, dental visits, etc 3/4 of each month. Maybe divorced parents don't have those issues...I do. I have no one else to rely on...no one...the majority of the time. Ie younger kid broke arm at recess. Do you know what that was like for me to figure out who could get older kid? It meant older kid missed soccer tournament and instead went home with another family (my emergency contact friend) who had to bring the kid to her kid's karate class. Would that happen at your home or at your home do you have a second parent that can pitch in much of the time when you're in a bind?

"Out of wedlock" was just a way to describe it.

But do you ever worry about money?? Didn't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you people seriously fighting over whether divorced parents with an ex who makes some financial and time commitment to a child deserve to be called single parents? That is just sad.

This and I'm not a divorced, widowed and I didn't have a child out of wedlock. Generally, those people have the same types of issues. My husband is gone for work about 21 days a month...as in across the country, for years and years like this. I have these same issues.

Does "I have these same issues" mean you have the same issues as the divorced be widowed parents because your husband travels for 21 days? FFS.

Yes, I do. Let's see: older kid is in a play at school at 2 and younger kid has the flu and needs to be home. Issue is no one can watch older kid. Two kids have games and I can't get them to both. I have a migraine and kids have homework. I have zero...zero...help with dishes, laundry, banking, discipline, childcare, transporting, sick visits, dental visits, etc 3/4 of each month. Maybe divorced parents don't have those issues...I do. I have no one else to rely on...no one...the majority of the time. Ie younger kid broke arm at recess. Do you know what that was like for me to figure out who could get older kid? It meant older kid missed soccer tournament and instead went home with another family (my emergency contact friend) who had to bring the kid to her kid's karate class. Would that happen at your home or at your home do you have a second parent that can pitch in much of the time when you're in a bind?

"Out of wedlock" was just a way to describe it.

But do you ever worry about money?? Didn't think so.

It isn't a perfect match, but we definitely have similarities. I don't not have money issues because of my spouse...I have them because I am highly educated myself.

[Anonymous]

I'm never married but my ex has our child two nights a week. I'm solely financially responsible. I consider myself a single parent. Some single parents are also solo parenting. I'm not one of them.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but from a man’s point of view, who is involved heavily and pays. Hold support, it is offensive for my ex, to say she is a single parent. It makes me look like she is doing it all on her own and I am a dead beat. We are co-parenting. If a man said he was a single parent, in this case, they would never hear the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but from a man’s point of view, who is involved heavily and pays. Hold support, it is offensive for my ex, to say she is a single parent. It makes me look like she is doing it all on her own and I am a dead beat. We are co-parenting. If a man said he was a single parent, in this case, they would never hear the end of it.

Why would you dig up a three year old thread just to prove your point?