Reply to What does "single parent" mean?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The above person specifically said, "It's particularly a jerk move when the person with the objectively easier situation looks at the person with the objectively harder situation and says, "Yep, I'm there too. I can relate." [/quote]

NP. The thing is, it's not about easier or harder. It's about having similar circumstances.

My DH travels 50-75% of the time. I have a friend whose husband is in the military. One time I was complaining about the adjustment period when DH returns home. She said, "now you get what I go through." I think when people say things like that, it's more about them wanting to find a common thread, something to bond over, rather than having a pissing contest.

I'm not a single parent. I have a DH who travels for weeks at a time though (and isn't always reachable by phone for emergencies). To say I don't understand anything about solo parenting is disingenuous. I don't get it all and I do get breaks from solo parenting, but I don't get to ship the kids off every other weekend or whatever the custody agreement states. [/quote]

The fact is that you absolutely are LIKE a single parent PART of the time.  No, you're not like one all the time, but you have some similarities.  Then there are groups that different parents would fit into.  For example, parents that are poorer relate to each other on similar issues (even more so when they have even more similar issues - multiple children, sick children, a parent is ill, a lost job, etc.) OR parents of sick children can all relate OR homeless parents can relate and those where one party is doing the majority of the childraising for whatever reason can bond.  I realize from this thread that those that are single all the time don't want to admit that, but it is true.  If the mom in the above post has to make the major medical decisions on her own 50-75% of the time, then she CAN relate to what you're going through on some level.  Is it precise...no, but on some level she can relate to you.  [/quote]

PP here. To be clear, I was shocked my military spouse friend compared our situations, because I thought I had it easier. My DH is home 1-2 weeks a month. Hers is away 1-1.5 years at a time. I just never thought about us being in similar shoes.

I guess it's all about perspective, and as parents we probably have more similarities than differences. [/quote]

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