Why do middle class parents make their kids hold jobs during the school year?

[Anonymous]

I worked retail basically consistently until I finished law school (Gap, Macy's, Nordstrom's). I'm a DOJ trial attorney now and basically a middle class working mom. I think working retail did a few good things for me. I have a better sense of dealing with people. As an attorney, it's actually funny to me to see how people treat witnesses because they never, ever had to deal with a difficult human who had to be won over. Browbeating isn't effective. I'm actually a better trial lawyer because I can connect with people on a level that my peers can't. So, YMMV with this view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To build "grit"? Seems self defeating, big picture.

What exactly is your concern, or are you just trolling?

I'd take a kid with "grit" and who has the "skills" one picks up at an ice cream scooping job - ie working with people who might not be like you/might be difficult, doing tasks that might be unpleasant but need to be done anyway, dealing with the public, etc. - over a calculus or coding whiz without those skills every.single.time.

(Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but I just really don't understand where people get this absurd idea that hard skills like coding are more important than soft skills like teamwork and communication. Unless you're a Steve Jobs type genius, you're not going to get very far in the workforce if churning out math is the only thing you can bring to the table.)

+1 from someone who both worked in high school AND coded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked retail basically consistently until I finished law school (Gap, Macy's, Nordstrom's). I'm a DOJ trial attorney now and basically a middle class working mom. I think working retail did a few good things for me. I have a better sense of dealing with people. As an attorney, it's actually funny to me to see how people treat witnesses because they never, ever had to deal with a difficult human who had to be won over. Browbeating isn't effective. I'm actually a better trial lawyer because I can connect with people on a level that my peers can't. So, YMMV with this view.

I could have written this ten years ago when I also did trial work. I agree with this PP completely.

[Anonymous]

so they can learn early on how to deal with stupid questions. like op's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked retail basically consistently until I finished law school (Gap, Macy's, Nordstrom's). I'm a DOJ trial attorney now and basically a middle class working mom. I think working retail did a few good things for me. I have a better sense of dealing with people. As an attorney, it's actually funny to me to see how people treat witnesses because they never, ever had to deal with a difficult human who had to be won over. Browbeating isn't effective. I'm actually a better trial lawyer because I can connect with people on a level that my peers can't. So, YMMV with this view.

Agree. I was an RN and now a nurse practitioner. Years of retail and even assistant manager really helped my social skills, delegating appropriately, and cleaning up messes. Figuratively and physically. Many colleges are now looking for kids who worked. They see these coddled kids with perfect but fake transcripts and the "volunteer work" and realize most of these kids have zero time management and work ethic. Lots of depressed kids on college. Plenty of BA graduates without a job. No realization how the real world works. My husband is a business owner (which he earned while bartending in college when the previous owner hired him for sales immediately after interacting with him multiple times) and he will take a hard worker over a perfect looking resume with very little grit. This assumption that all you need is good grades with a little bit of school activities is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents never made me working during the school year. School was my job. 5-figure HHI, for whatever that's worth.

School is 30 hours a week plus a little homework. It is so gross to have this attitude that that's all you owe to the world. Signed, 7-figure HHI who grew up in a 7-figure HHI with a DH who grew up on welfare, who both expect our kid to work, for what it's worth.

School was my job as well, but I also played two sports, had to work to maintain my position as first in my class, and was in multiple clubs in leadership roles.

The scholarship money I earned was more than I would ever have made at a part-time job.

During college, I had one to three jobs at any point in time.

Whether it is a job or sports - it is important learn time management and being part of a team.

[Anonymous]

I wish I would've had a job in HS. sure, I was busy with AP classes and extracurriculars which is fine, but it was a bubble existence. Overwhemingly the people in my classes/activities had very similar values/goals/upbringings/future plans as me.

I think it's very important for kids to be in situations where they're with people who are not like them.

[Anonymous]

I had a job during HS and it was very eye opening about money issues, how little crappy jobs pay, how hard you have to work, etc.

My (much) younger sister played a travel sport, so our parents didn't make her get a job. She ended up not getting her first job until she was 21 because she was afraid, and she didn't even go to college. For years after high school it was just my parents telling her to get a job, her saying "I'm trying" and then not doing anything about it. She's 25 now and has just moved out, but our parents still pay for her car, insurance, and cell phone.

[Anonymous]

My parents made me get a job at the mall in high school and everyone I worked with was trash. I guess it depends on the job, but I don't how wasting hours folding t-shirts and working with degenerate losers teaches you anything. Why do upper middle class kids need to learn how to associate with and talk to bottom feeders? If you are good parents they should never come in contact with people like that. I'd rather have my kids playing sports, in clubs, instruments, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I do see the OPs point as someone who worked though my teens. I worked in restaurants and retail stores and honestly I did not learn much that is at all relevant to my work today. Those places want you to follow the procedures to the tee, be pleasant to customers. It's all about blindly following the rules where as most of us here today are knowledge workers and leaders. Also, even though I was exposed to drugs and teen pregnancies and stuff at my public high school, the amount Of drugs (and alcoholism) in the restaurants where I worked was really high. there were many high school kids who got into that stuff when I was working there. I'm not talking about just pot, I'm talking about everything from ecstasy to coke to heroin to crack.

Having said that I will probably encourage my kids to find a job but will probably encourage office jobs or internships.

No flames here. I totally agree. And, to boot, I'll add that in my experience as a teen who worked in restaurants, cleaned hotel rooms, worked in fast food, many managers treat the teens like garbage. And, I was repeatedly groped by older men and cat-called.

I learned next to no life skills that helped me in education or the career I have. And, it make me miss out on a lot of opportunities (sports, clubs) that my friends had time for.

I don't think you get it. Having to deal with difficult people especially in the workplace, is a life skill. I don't think people are saying that teens should work rather than have e.c. activities.

I will encourage my teens to get at least a summer job for all the reasons PPs have mentioned.

You don't get it. Being groped and cat-called by older men at 15 and 16 is not "dealing with difficult people." I'm hardly a delicate flower. The types of jobs I had wouldn't allow for that (cleaning up shit and vomit in hotel rooms, for example). But, the types of people who work in these types of minimum wage jobs (at least in my day and area) were not the type I'd have my teen around. You can get exposed to difficult people in many ways, and just about every day. You don't need a minimum wage restaurant job to learn that.

And, in my case, where I had to work, I absolutely DID miss out on activities. I worked. A lot. To the detriment of my extracurricular activities and sports. That will not happen for my DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents made me get a job at the mall in high school and everyone I worked with was trash. I guess it depends on the job, but I don't how wasting hours folding t-shirts and working with degenerate losers teaches you anything. Why do upper middle class kids need to learn how to associate with and talk to bottom feeders? If you are good parents they should never come in contact with people like that. I'd rather have my kids playing sports, in clubs, instruments, etc.

stop pining for the days of serfdom. Chances are good your family came from dirt. I doubt they'd be proud of your outlook.

[Anonymous]

For me, I was a bad student in HS. Solidly middle to UMC background (father: doctor;mom, gs14 at the time). But, I did not care about school. I was smart, though.

The job -- seeing what I would do without an education caused me to start caring. Starting in my junior year, I worked hard in HS. I pulled my grades up -- and was able to get into a college where I excelled, and transferred to a top school.

[Anonymous]

I found a very interesting article today and it reminded me of this thread. The teen years are more towards the end and is very relevant.

https://rhondastephens.wordpress.com/2016/04/01/parenting-are-we-getting-a-raw-deal/

[Anonymous]

If your kid is driving, they're going to need income to pay their car insurance and to buy gas. I don't pay for gas and insurance for someone who is able to drive. If you're able to drive, you're able to work, and pay your bills, in addition to going to school and getting good grades. You're almost an adult at that point. Coddling and hand-holding does not teach you how to make it in life. That's what's wrong with these whiny college students who need play dough and therapy. Someone forgot to teach them how to be tough.

[Anonymous]

Last night at a get together my neighbor's daughter is a new hostess at a popular local restaurant and said the cooks were slapping her ass with wet towels, busboys smoke dope in the parking lot, and the 20-something waiter creeps are all trying to sleep with her. She's 17.

Yes, make your kids work shit jobs. It really teaches them about "life"!