Why do middle class parents make their kids hold jobs during the school year?

[Anonymous]

My DD wanted a job. She is learning so much about budgeting, responsibility, and life. The added lesson I was not expecting is that she saw how many people have a close to minimum wage job as their forever job. This was an amazing way to show her what life would be like without college and a career. Life lessons!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's time is better spent fast tracking his way through high school. He is on track to finish a year early. So, he will enter university and the job force one year early.

So, yeah his time is better spent on school instead of making minimum wage.

Is that a good thing? So he can be out there on the grind for 46 years instead of 45? (give or take)

He just retire a year ahead of time. Duh.

Who knows? Retirement isn't a set age. Have fun while you're young. Work can wait.

Who says fun and work are mutually exclusive? I feel bad for your kids if that's the attitude you're imparting. I have some very, very fond memories of working at a pizza parlor in HS/summers when I was home from college. Made lots of friends, got to know people outside of the AP bubble I otherwise inhabited, and made money while doing it. What's not to like? Not to mention, I worked like 5-10 hours a week. Usually one 2-4 hour weeknight shift, and one 4-6 hour weekend shift. The phrase "special snowflake" generally is not in my lexicon...but if that really is "the grind" for your kid, then I'm going to go ahead and use it.

(Of course, if my kid couldn't handle school work and a job, one of those would have to go...and it would be the job. But by itself, I really don't understand why some people have such an aversion to kids working.)

Very well said.

[Anonymous]

I started babysitting at 12. Four season athlete. Started my first "real" job at 14 hostessing at a restaurant. Didn't stop working (finance was my actual career. I nannied through college) till I had my first baby at 31, haven't looked back (10 years ago). I'm glad my parents encouraged me to work. Though poor when I was young, they were UMC by the time I was in high school. I had to pay for things like gas and insurance and splurge type clothing/things. It taught me to budget, to save, and to work hard. I was a very high earner thanks to the drive I learned from working shitty jobs ~ I knew I didn't want that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's time is better spent fast tracking his way through high school. He is on track to finish a year early. So, he will enter university and the job force one year early.

So, yeah his time is better spent on school instead of making minimum wage.

Is that a good thing? So he can be out there on the grind for 46 years instead of 45? (give or take)

He just retire a year ahead of time. Duh.

Who knows? Retirement isn't a set age. Have fun while you're young. Work can wait.

Who says fun and work are mutually exclusive? I feel bad for your kids if that's the attitude you're imparting. I have some very, very fond memories of working at a pizza parlor in HS/summers when I was home from college. Made lots of friends, got to know people outside of the AP bubble I otherwise inhabited, and made money while doing it. What's not to like? Not to mention, I worked like 5-10 hours a week. Usually one 2-4 hour weeknight shift, and one 4-6 hour weekend shift. The phrase "special snowflake" generally is not in my lexicon...but if that really is "the grind" for your kid, then I'm going to go ahead and use it.

(Of course, if my kid couldn't handle school work and a job, one of those would have to go...and it would be the job. But by itself, I really don't understand why some people have such an aversion to kids working.)

No, no, I'm talking about the pp's ds who is pushing through high school in three years with the "benefit" being that he can get into college and into the work force faster. I am all for kids having an after school job. I, too, loved my high school and summer job for all the reasons you said, and so does my 16yo ds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To build "grit"? Seems self defeating, big picture.

What exactly is your concern, or are you just trolling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To build "grit"? Seems self defeating, big picture.

What exactly is your concern, or are you just trolling?

I'd take a kid with "grit" and who has the "skills" one picks up at an ice cream scooping job - ie working with people who might not be like you/might be difficult, doing tasks that might be unpleasant but need to be done anyway, dealing with the public, etc. - over a calculus or coding whiz without those skills every.single.time.

(Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but I just really don't understand where people get this absurd idea that hard skills like coding are more important than soft skills like teamwork and communication. Unless you're a Steve Jobs type genius, you're not going to get very far in the workforce if churning out math is the only thing you can bring to the table.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To build "grit"? Seems self defeating, big picture.

What exactly is your concern, or are you just trolling?

I'm assuming OP is a teenager whose parents said, "We're not buying you that. If you want it, get a job."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's time is better spent fast tracking his way through high school. He is on track to finish a year early. So, he will enter university and the job force one year early.

So, yeah his time is better spent on school instead of making minimum wage.

Is that a good thing? So he can be out there on the grind for 46 years instead of 45? (give or take)

He just retire a year ahead of time. Duh.

Who knows? Retirement isn't a set age. Have fun while you're young. Work can wait.

Who says fun and work are mutually exclusive? I feel bad for your kids if that's the attitude you're imparting. I have some very, very fond memories of working at a pizza parlor in HS/summers when I was home from college. Made lots of friends, got to know people outside of the AP bubble I otherwise inhabited, and made money while doing it. What's not to like? Not to mention, I worked like 5-10 hours a week. Usually one 2-4 hour weeknight shift, and one 4-6 hour weekend shift. The phrase "special snowflake" generally is not in my lexicon...but if that really is "the grind" for your kid, then I'm going to go ahead and use it.

(Of course, if my kid couldn't handle school work and a job, one of those would have to go...and it would be the job. But by itself, I really don't understand why some people have such an aversion to kids working.)

No, no, I'm talking about the pp's ds who is pushing through high school in three years with the "benefit" being that he can get into college and into the work force faster. I am all for kids having an after school job. I, too, loved my high school and summer job for all the reasons you said, and so does my 16yo ds.

Oops, I misread Sorry about that. I agree that plowing through high school just to enter the workforce early is just plain silly.

[Anonymous]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I do see the OPs point as someone who worked though my teens. I worked in restaurants and retail stores and honestly I did not learn much that is at all relevant to my work today. Those places want you to follow the procedures to the tee, be pleasant to customers. It's all about blindly following the rules where as most of us here today are knowledge workers and leaders. Also, even though I was exposed to drugs and teen pregnancies and stuff at my public high school, the amount Of drugs (and alcoholism) in the restaurants where I worked was really high. there were many high school kids who got into that stuff when I was working there. I'm not talking about just pot, I'm talking about everything from ecstasy to coke to heroin to crack.

Having said that I will probably encourage my kids to find a job but will probably encourage office jobs or internships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I do see the OPs point as someone who worked though my teens. I worked in restaurants and retail stores and honestly I did not learn much that is at all relevant to my work today. Those places want you to follow the procedures to the tee, be pleasant to customers. It's all about blindly following the rules where as most of us here today are knowledge workers and leaders. Also, even though I was exposed to drugs and teen pregnancies and stuff at my public high school, the amount Of drugs (and alcoholism) in the restaurants where I worked was really high. there were many high school kids who got into that stuff when I was working there. I'm not talking about just pot, I'm talking about everything from ecstasy to coke to heroin to crack.

Having said that I will probably encourage my kids to find a job but will probably encourage office jobs or internships.

No flames here. I totally agree. And, to boot, I'll add that in my experience as a teen who worked in restaurants, cleaned hotel rooms, worked in fast food, many managers treat the teens like garbage. And, I was repeatedly groped by older men and cat-called.

I learned next to no life skills that helped me in education or the career I have. And, it make me miss out on a lot of opportunities (sports, clubs) that my friends had time for.

[Anonymous]

I worked during high school, although not during junior year when I had a very heavy load of AP classes. As a very shy kid, working had a huge impact on me, pushing me out of my comfort zone and requiring me to step up and talk to a wide range of people. My first job was in fast food for a summer but then in during sr. year of HS I worked in a lawyer's office and then a sales reps' office, a couple hours after school every day. It was hardly a burden on my time but helped me learn about managing my money, dealing with different situations, and having the confidence to make decisions, ask questions, etc. Yes, I could do that in school but it really is different in a work situation where people are counting on you to get real, meaningful things done.

We will expect our kids to have at least summer jobs starting at 16. School-year jobs will be dependent on their homework load and other extracurriculars. DS is 13 and already spent last summer working at a camp as a volunteer and wants to work there when he's 16. I could see that the summer of working was good for his confidence. DD is younger but already talks about what camp she wants to work at or what stores in our neighborhood would be good to work at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but I do see the OPs point as someone who worked though my teens. I worked in restaurants and retail stores and honestly I did not learn much that is at all relevant to my work today. Those places want you to follow the procedures to the tee, be pleasant to customers. It's all about blindly following the rules where as most of us here today are knowledge workers and leaders. Also, even though I was exposed to drugs and teen pregnancies and stuff at my public high school, the amount Of drugs (and alcoholism) in the restaurants where I worked was really high. there were many high school kids who got into that stuff when I was working there. I'm not talking about just pot, I'm talking about everything from ecstasy to coke to heroin to crack.

Having said that I will probably encourage my kids to find a job but will probably encourage office jobs or internships.

No flames here. I totally agree. And, to boot, I'll add that in my experience as a teen who worked in restaurants, cleaned hotel rooms, worked in fast food, many managers treat the teens like garbage. And, I was repeatedly groped by older men and cat-called.

I learned next to no life skills that helped me in education or the career I have. And, it make me miss out on a lot of opportunities (sports, clubs) that my friends had time for.

I don't think you get it. Having to deal with difficult people especially in the workplace, is a life skill. I don't think people are saying that teens should work rather than have e.c. activities.

I will encourage my teens to get at least a summer job for all the reasons PPs have mentioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my 7 figure HHI physician parents never forced me to have a job, but like my sister I opted to have summer jobs starting in middle school. I played sports and did several extra-curriculars, so have a job during the school year would have been impossible unless I gave up something else.

For everyone saying how great jobs are, why isn's summer work experience enough to get the life lessons you are describing?

Because most places won't hire you just for summer. It is already hard enough to find a job as a teen because most of the jobs (cashiers, fast food, mall, department stores) are now taken by immigrants who want $15/hr for their "career"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in an affluent area, though my parents weren't nearly as wealthy as most of my classmates. (Chicago suburb.)

Probably the wealthiest boy in my class had a job bagging groceries at the local mom and pop grocery store. His father was a big time exec and my house could have fit inside of his house ten times. His parents were filthy rich. But SO kind. And he bagged groceries.

Gross. In Chicago, those are union jobs. I can't even imagine allowing or suggesting my child join a union.

You know nothing about unions. A bagger at a mom and pop grocery store is not in a union.

Not to mention she missed the whole point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could this possibly be self-defeating in the big picture of life?

Grades, extracurriculars, community engagement are more important. Only so many hours in a day. It seems middle class parents are old school and think a job toughens their kid up -- meanwhile UMC parents have their kids learning calculus and computer programming, you know, real skills.

You are a troll.

REAL life skills does not include calculus my friend. Long gone are shop classes, finance classes, home economics etc... and the new groups of teens are a coddled group that lack people skills and common sense. All they know how to do is look at screens. To study and socialize. When I grew up as "middle class", I worked in the mall as a teen, as did everyone of my friends. It was awesome. I learned to run cash registers, close out, people skills, time management, financial independence, and socialized with friends during and after work. I wouldn't trade that time in for the world. All teens do know is homework and use social media in their bedroom. Sorry but it sucks to be a teen these days.

+1

I loved working as a teen. I met a lot of friends outside of my high school and it really helped keep me motivated and out of trouble. Having my own pocket money and not asking my parents was a big deal to me. I wasn't a mooch. I didn't like it. I only played one sport and during that season I only worked one weekend day a week. My managers and coworkers were awesome. They would come to my games too.