How much should I as room mom harass parents for $?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I sent an email without anything else in it (no directions for Halloween party, no intro from room mom, etc) and already had one parent email that she'd give it to me Friday and another hand me cash at dropoff this morning. So it's definitely made a difference!

And to crazy PP whose kids "know the good stuff" - I have no words.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice. Had I known this was all so fraught with drama I'd never have volunteered. Rookie mistake!

Good job OP. I don't volunteer for room mom anymore, unfortunately! But I am very receptive of requests. If all kids participate then all families should donate. Period. So many entitled people letting the few carry the weight for them. And yes, unfortunately, everyone knows who they are. If you don't want people to talk about you, just play the part, please. It's not that difficult to be involved in your kids class.

I have no words for the good stuff dear poster either. Must be a troll. Nobody is that pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

Send a note directly to the parents who have not given or send a reminder. Then let it go. No matter how you view it, this is voluntary. If you know some of the parents, you could mention ypu did not collect as much as planned and see if they offer to pitch in more. I gladly would. I always think I should be a room mom and them I am so glad I am not. People complain no matter what you do. I appreciate the mom's that put forth the effort. And dads of course.

It is odd that you are collecting for party supplies, maybe emphasize that in the reminder email. All of our collections are for the teacher, parents donate the party stuff. Man, I would love it if the room mom got all the stuff. I have o problem buying crap, but sometimes getting it to the school when you have a bus rider is a logistical challenge. So make sure they know that this is for everything.

I think you can tell by some of the replies, no matter what you do, you will not get money from everyone. If you are brave enough to do this next year, ask for more per head.

I'd much rather parents send in stuff.

Whys that?

We have been at schools where they collected stuff. They had a specific list and everyone contributed. Done. People will spend more buying stuff rather than giving money. This year as room parent, we were only allowed to collect a little and a lot has come out of my pocket given the amount of people (including parents and siblings as we can't charge for them). It makes much more sense to have people donate what we need and the room parents buy what doesn't come or get choosen.

Interesting, thank you for the perspective. I'm the one who asked. It's always kind of annoyed me when more isn't requested for the class fund and it leaves parents running around buying stuff for the class party. I always considered it a total hassle and it seemed inefficient. The freeloader aspect didn't occur to me, nor did the fact that parents might be more willing to send in stuff than money. I'll roll my eyes less next time I get an email asking for a tray of cupcakes!

I don't care. Its for the kids and its a few times a year. We were specifically told by the school how much we could ask. 2 parents were nice and sent in extra but that's it. I did not keep a tally on who sent money but only a few didn't. I'm not chasing them. We also asked for decoration, food and other donations instead of money (or with the money) and no one offered. I think its kinda sad how few people want to help but want the parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you can be so sure they have the money. This angers me because you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. Maybe they inherited the house, lost their job, have health issues, bought the house and then lost their job. Maybe kid has special needs and lots of expenses. Maybe grandparents are ill and they are paying nursing home costs. You don't know.

We moved to a nice area for the good schools. Money was tight. Buy supplies, for the classroom, pay for a field trip, join PTA, go to fundraisers. Goodness - it all adds up. It is not just $25. I freaked out at the cost of school supplies and then the requests just kept coming. At least let me spread it out . . . .

Give me a break, truly. That MAY be the case for ONE family in the class.

We have a few in our class and sure enough, they were the ones to donate.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why it is needed, so I don't contribute. I work as a teacher in a poor neighborhood (100 farms school). There is no room mom and no one collects money for parties. 25 dollars times 25 kids is $625 dollars per classroom! For parties I just tell the kids to bring in whatever extra they have at home. I don't expect any gifts. I am thrilled when I get a note or card from my students or parents. I spend the 50 dollars I would have sent in for my kids at their affluent public school on my poor students. My kids really don't need another party and their teachers have it so easy.

[Anonymous]

^ thanks for this. Nice addition to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why it is needed, so I don't contribute. I work as a teacher in a poor neighborhood (100 farms school). There is no room mom and no one collects money for parties. 25 dollars times 25 kids is $625 dollars per classroom! For parties I just tell the kids to bring in whatever extra they have at home. I don't expect any gifts. I am thrilled when I get a note or card from my students or parents. I spend the 50 dollars I would have sent in for my kids at their affluent public school on my poor students. My kids really don't need another party and their teachers have it so easy.

Then Change schools.

[Anonymous]

I've found there are some of the parents who don't give who seriously just don't notice or remember - the extra reminders (things like the paper with envelop to those families via folders or BCC email reminder can help). Others like some of the posters above get upset about what the money is spent on (types of food, don't like the teacher gifts (and or at our school I didn't realize the first year that so many parents do individual gifts on top of the class gift, so it feels like you're giving a lot), or think the amount is excessive, etc. There was a mini-revolt in one of our kid's classes this year, where some folks who hadn't been typical room parents in the past & they made an issue about asking families for a lot less and explained where all the money goes to & set up something about being able to give input into the class gifts, etc. (Families in the 'range rover' category - who just didn't like how frivolously it seemed the funds were treated and also were sensitive to the equity concerns of asking for 'too much'). I had just looked at it like something that had just become normative - but clearly some of these issues are a concern to some.

[Anonymous]

You're awesome for volunteering as room mom. I'm usually one of the room moms, but not the main one, so I know how much you do and there are plenty y of parents who appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Room parent had teacher stick in an envelope in the Friday folder. Easy.

This!

Fellow room mom here. We also use SignUpGenius. If you can get people to sign up that way, it's easier to collect donations.

But you can't make them sign up right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our room mom let us pay her via PayPal. I did it the second I saw the email.

I was a room parent last year and offering paypal made things so much easier for everyone! You can create a payme link which you can add to your email. They can simply you via the link. No worries about cash getting lost or just not having cash around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't kill me, I'm learning the ropes here!

New Kindergarten room parent in a wealthy district (probably matters for this discussion). School "recommends" parents commit $25 to class fund for parties and teacher gifts. Sent an email (friendly) with a deadline (before party supplies had to be bought for first party) and one reminder - $ request was in the same email as Halloween details etc, so it wasn't a "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!" email.

7 out of 21 families haven't given anything. I know a bunch of these families and there's no way this is a financial issue for the majority. If I have to cover the teacher gift I will, but at what point do you just say eff it and stop asking? I don't want to harass people, but it's also like, come on now!

Thanks for any thoughts.

$25 seems like a lot to ask for all at once. When I was the room parent, I ended up asking for $5 per child for the valentine day party and end of year party. Some donated more. I did mention in my email that if they did not want to contribute money to let me know and I would send them a list of stuff they could provide. I had about 90% participation. That was enough to buy some crafts, food, etc. To help keep costs down, I made the cupcakes and cookies for the parties. But was still able to buy a small fruit tray, veggie tray, juice, and chips.

For a teacher gift for the winter holiday and end of year, I sent a separate email asking if people wanted to contribute to a group gift card for the teacher. Completely voluntary and any amount was fine. Not everyone participated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why it is needed, so I don't contribute. I work as a teacher in a poor neighborhood (100 farms school). There is no room mom and no one collects money for parties. 25 dollars times 25 kids is $625 dollars per classroom! For parties I just tell the kids to bring in whatever extra they have at home. I don't expect any gifts. I am thrilled when I get a note or card from my students or parents. I spend the 50 dollars I would have sent in for my kids at their affluent public school on my poor students. My kids really don't need another party and their teachers have it so easy.

Then Change schools.

Why in the hell would she change schools? I think she is doing a great job and I think the crap of parties and asking for shit from the school has gone out of hand.

[Anonymous]

To all the room parents, JUST STOP ASKING!!!

There was another thread about something similar yesterday (all the BS activities we have to think of and buy for).

Enough. Every time I turn around I'm getting hit for more money. I live in an affluent area for schools, but we barely scrape by. I give when I can, when I can. I don't need your guilt trips for silly decorations.

[Anonymous]

I think more options given to parents might encourage more participation. I work full-time so I'm very happy to write a check whenever there is a request or suggestion from school because other parents may have spent much more time on helping out. I see it's fair for the one who contribute time do little or no monetary contribution.

[Anonymous]

I say stop asked no and please don't judge them. Goodness. It's for parties. This is not related to education or charitable not cause.