How much should I as room mom harass parents for $?

[Anonymous]

I know it's too late to do this, but for all those people thinking about being room parents next year, our private school, on the open house day (the day before the first day of school, where kids come meet their teachers, get their lockers, etc), the school parents IN PERSON for $15 per kid for class parties, via check or cash. Right then and there. We get almost 100%. This is for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's, St. Patrick's day, Easter and last day of school (which is an ice cream party). It covers bottled water, paper goods, and crafts. Other than end of year party it does NOT cover food. We do a signupgenius to cover party specific food which we try to balance between 1) fruit or veggies and 2) something a bit more sugary, like muffins or cookies. Like for Halloween we will probably get pealed clementines with celery as jackolaterns, and some cookies.

Class gifts, we do a separate collection for the holidays. We get about 50% participation, and within that some people give $5 and some $100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

Send a note directly to the parents who have not given or send a reminder. Then let it go. No matter how you view it, this is voluntary. If you know some of the parents, you could mention ypu did not collect as much as planned and see if they offer to pitch in more. I gladly would. I always think I should be a room mom and them I am so glad I am not. People complain no matter what you do. I appreciate the mom's that put forth the effort. And dads of course.

It is odd that you are collecting for party supplies, maybe emphasize that in the reminder email. All of our collections are for the teacher, parents donate the party stuff. Man, I would love it if the room mom got all the stuff. I have o problem buying crap, but sometimes getting it to the school when you have a bus rider is a logistical challenge. So make sure they know that this is for everything.

I think you can tell by some of the replies, no matter what you do, you will not get money from everyone. If you are brave enough to do this next year, ask for more per head.

I'd much rather parents send in stuff.

Whys that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 emails are enough and 2/3 is actually a really good donation amount. Those 7 really might not have the money so move on with what you got.

That is highly unlikely if this is a private or in a wealthy district as OP implied. I've worked at one of those schools. There were literally maybe 10-20 households in the entire school who couldn't afford $25 b/c they were on majority or total financial aid. If you can afford the mortgage on a $1M house, and drive a Lexus, and carry expensive purses, you can contribute $25 to make the school year a little fun and special for your kid and their classmates.

This is exactly the kind of neighborhood it is. These people work six-figure jobs and drive Range Rovers. is absolutely not a question of not be able to afford it. -OP

Again, you really don't know that. Maybe the house was paid for by parents and they're swimming in medical bills or bankruptcy at the moment. Maybe the DH is self employed and the business is having a bad quarter. It's much easier to just extend grace and assume they didn't give it for a reason than to hound 7 families for $25. Make do without it. What you got is what you have to work with.

[Anonymous]

You're never going to get 100% participation. Some parents just don't have it to spare and some don't think they should have to contribute anything and some just forget. 2/3 participation is pretty good. Maybe you could solely do volunteer-provided food for the parties? We have good luck with SignUp Genius for that.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how you can be so sure they have the money. This angers me because you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. Maybe they inherited the house, lost their job, have health issues, bought the house and then lost their job. Maybe kid has special needs and lots of expenses. Maybe grandparents are ill and they are paying nursing home costs. You don't know.

We moved to a nice area for the good schools. Money was tight. Buy supplies, for the classroom, pay for a field trip, join PTA, go to fundraisers. Goodness - it all adds up. It is not just $25. I freaked out at the cost of school supplies and then the requests just kept coming. At least let me spread it out . . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A paper notice with a stapled envelope is the best tactic. Signed, mom of 3 who has been room mom 4 times (and hopefully never again!)

+1 and write "give to room mom kid's name" on the envelope. Put these in the kids backpacks at school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you can be so sure they have the money. This angers me because you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. Maybe they inherited the house, lost their job, have health issues, bought the house and then lost their job. Maybe kid has special needs and lots of expenses. Maybe grandparents are ill and they are paying nursing home costs. You don't know.

We moved to a nice area for the good schools. Money was tight. Buy supplies, for the classroom, pay for a field trip, join PTA, go to fundraisers. Goodness - it all adds up. It is not just $25. I freaked out at the cost of school supplies and then the requests just kept coming. At least let me spread it out . . . .

Have you been to one of these <1% FARMS elementary schools in posh neighborhoods? The point is, there's no way 1/3 of the class is riding the struggle bus to the point that they can't come up with $25.

Yes, everything isn't what it always seems in the nice 'burbs. Frankly, I am astounded by the amount of families here who have had their home purchased with "help" from family. Very often, many of these families live in the neighborhoods they live in NOT because they are super successful first generation wealth creators, but because they do well enough and they've always had family to grease the wheels here or there. The point is these people STILL generally have access to cash. They're driving cars that are in excellent repair, they're drinking Starbucks every morning, they're buying lunches out, they've got nice purses/clothing/coats, they take vacations, they NEVER do their own yard work, and so on.

It it isn't right to confuse the least wealthy people in wealthy neighborhoods with people who'd need to take out a PayDay loan to come up with $25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you can be so sure they have the money. This angers me because you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. Maybe they inherited the house, lost their job, have health issues, bought the house and then lost their job. Maybe kid has special needs and lots of expenses. Maybe grandparents are ill and they are paying nursing home costs. You don't know.

We moved to a nice area for the good schools. Money was tight. Buy supplies, for the classroom, pay for a field trip, join PTA, go to fundraisers. Goodness - it all adds up. It is not just $25. I freaked out at the cost of school supplies and then the requests just kept coming. At least let me spread it out . . . .

Maybe you picked the wrong school or over extended on the house? School supplies were under $20 if you watched the sales (and that was with extra donations), PTA was $20, and a few other minor costs. We have a SN kid, we have a family member we support with many things whose in a nursing home, we have heath issues and much more. We still manage to come up with the few dollars for the party and since I am room mom, much more to cover the rest. Instead of over extending ourselves we live in a smaller house with an ok school. Life is about choices. Its far cheaper than private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

Send a note directly to the parents who have not given or send a reminder. Then let it go. No matter how you view it, this is voluntary. If you know some of the parents, you could mention ypu did not collect as much as planned and see if they offer to pitch in more. I gladly would. I always think I should be a room mom and them I am so glad I am not. People complain no matter what you do. I appreciate the mom's that put forth the effort. And dads of course.

It is odd that you are collecting for party supplies, maybe emphasize that in the reminder email. All of our collections are for the teacher, parents donate the party stuff. Man, I would love it if the room mom got all the stuff. I have o problem buying crap, but sometimes getting it to the school when you have a bus rider is a logistical challenge. So make sure they know that this is for everything.

I think you can tell by some of the replies, no matter what you do, you will not get money from everyone. If you are brave enough to do this next year, ask for more per head.

I'd much rather parents send in stuff.

Whys that?

We have been at schools where they collected stuff. They had a specific list and everyone contributed. Done. People will spend more buying stuff rather than giving money. This year as room parent, we were only allowed to collect a little and a lot has come out of my pocket given the amount of people (including parents and siblings as we can't charge for them). It makes much more sense to have people donate what we need and the room parents buy what doesn't come or get choosen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op,

Send a note directly to the parents who have not given or send a reminder. Then let it go. No matter how you view it, this is voluntary. If you know some of the parents, you could mention ypu did not collect as much as planned and see if they offer to pitch in more. I gladly would. I always think I should be a room mom and them I am so glad I am not. People complain no matter what you do. I appreciate the mom's that put forth the effort. And dads of course.

It is odd that you are collecting for party supplies, maybe emphasize that in the reminder email. All of our collections are for the teacher, parents donate the party stuff. Man, I would love it if the room mom got all the stuff. I have o problem buying crap, but sometimes getting it to the school when you have a bus rider is a logistical challenge. So make sure they know that this is for everything.

I think you can tell by some of the replies, no matter what you do, you will not get money from everyone. If you are brave enough to do this next year, ask for more per head.

I'd much rather parents send in stuff.

Whys that?

We have been at schools where they collected stuff. They had a specific list and everyone contributed. Done. People will spend more buying stuff rather than giving money. This year as room parent, we were only allowed to collect a little and a lot has come out of my pocket given the amount of people (including parents and siblings as we can't charge for them). It makes much more sense to have people donate what we need and the room parents buy what doesn't come or get choosen.

Interesting, thank you for the perspective. I'm the one who asked. It's always kind of annoyed me when more isn't requested for the class fund and it leaves parents running around buying stuff for the class party. I always considered it a total hassle and it seemed inefficient. The freeloader aspect didn't occur to me, nor did the fact that parents might be more willing to send in stuff than money. I'll roll my eyes less next time I get an email asking for a tray of cupcakes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how you can be so sure they have the money. This angers me because you have NO idea what is going on behind closed doors. Maybe they inherited the house, lost their job, have health issues, bought the house and then lost their job. Maybe kid has special needs and lots of expenses. Maybe grandparents are ill and they are paying nursing home costs. You don't know.

We moved to a nice area for the good schools. Money was tight. Buy supplies, for the classroom, pay for a field trip, join PTA, go to fundraisers. Goodness - it all adds up. It is not just $25. I freaked out at the cost of school supplies and then the requests just kept coming. At least let me spread it out . . . .

Give me a break, truly. That MAY be the case for ONE family in the class.

[Anonymous]

And this is what happens. A small amount of money budgeted for something frivolous, in the grand scheme of things frivolous, gets talked about-and talked about, and motives discussed, speculation, gossip. Drama ensues.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I sent an email without anything else in it (no directions for Halloween party, no intro from room mom, etc) and already had one parent email that she'd give it to me Friday and another hand me cash at dropoff this morning. So it's definitely made a difference!

And to crazy PP whose kids "know the good stuff" - I have no words.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice. Had I known this was all so fraught with drama I'd never have volunteered. Rookie mistake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I sent an email without anything else in it (no directions for Halloween party, no intro from room mom, etc) and already had one parent email that she'd give it to me Friday and another hand me cash at dropoff this morning. So it's definitely made a difference!

And to crazy PP whose kids "know the good stuff" - I have no words.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice. Had I known this was all so fraught with drama I'd never have volunteered. Rookie mistake!

Have you tried PayPal or HipChip as an option? You must have a P2P option. Who uses envelopes cash and checks anymore?? It makes it so easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I sent an email without anything else in it (no directions for Halloween party, no intro from room mom, etc) and already had one parent email that she'd give it to me Friday and another hand me cash at dropoff this morning. So it's definitely made a difference!

And to crazy PP whose kids "know the good stuff" - I have no words.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice. Had I known this was all so fraught with drama I'd never have volunteered. Rookie mistake!

It's drama of your own making. Nobody is forcing you to individually contact people to guilt them into giving. We've told you 2:3 participation is good.