When should a 9 year old shave her armpits?

[Anonymous]

I was in 3rd grade when I got arm pit hair. Not unusual. Have her do it now- I wish the girl across the street from me didn't notice before I did.

[Anonymous]

This has been a topic of ongoing conversations with my 10 year old. Unfortunately, she inherited my hairy genes, and DH's lighter skin, so her hair is pretty visible. She was first told that her leg hair (she doesn't have underarm hair yet) was gross and disgusting, by a "friend", when she was 5 or 6. She was absolutely devastated, and to be honest, I hadn't thought of talking to her about it, at that age. She wanted to get rid of it all at that point, but we talked it through, about doing with your body what you want to do, when you want to do it, not because of external forces, and what friendship really means.

She still has all her hair intact, at this age. We even talked yesterday (I was shaving my legs) about hair removal, various options, pros and cons, etc. and she has decided that she will shave her legs at some point in time, but that time is not now, because she does not want to bother with the maintenance involved.

I think it's important for the request to shave, to come from the child. It's important for them to know that they are in charge of their body, but also be armed with facts in terms of grooming and maintenance. OP, your child seems to know her options, and has opted to do nothing. Honor that request.

To everyone else, teach your children to accept everyone for who they are. And to the woman who is judging little girls by their body hair, I really hope you are a troll. If not, you're as shallow as they come, and likely teaching your sons that beauty is skin deep.

[Anonymous]

There's rather a lot of hand-wringing about perfectly mundane things in this thread. My DS started growing armpit hair at 11. DH comes from a culture where body hair removal is normal. He told DS - in our family, men do not have armpit hair. Here's a razor and a deodorant. Do this every few days. And then he checked for a few months to remind him. End of story. No tantrums about body image, external forces, pressures, therapy and other American nonsense. You have armpit hair now, take care of it, here's how. The end.

[Anonymous]

Or, "in this family, we leave our bodies as they are. Some families shave hair from parts of their bodies, and some don't. Here's soap and deodorant, and here's how to use it."

[Anonymous]

Fairly light Caucasian, with very dark hair. I shaved (sporadically) for about 3 years while I was in high school. I have sideburns and chin hair as well as arm put and leg hair. IDC who thinks it’s nasty or gross, and I’m never going to teach a child that they have to conform to society’s standards. Presenting the information and letting the child decide is definitely the way to go.

I see this as yet another way that society separates girls and boys and forces them into gendered roles. Guess what? I know boys who let everything grow (you can see pubes sticking out of their Speedos), then they shave everything the night before swim meets. I know girls who do the same (minus hair on their heads). They’re doing it for a reason.

Shaving to be attractive or because it’s “dirty” not to do it perpetuates the idea in little girls that they’re not good enough. They have to change themselves, physically and mentally to be acceptable to society.

Nope, I’m not doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's rather a lot of hand-wringing about perfectly mundane things in this thread. My DS started growing armpit hair at 11. DH comes from a culture where body hair removal is normal. He told DS - in our family, men do not have armpit hair. Here's a razor and a deodorant. Do this every few days. And then he checked for a few months to remind him. End of story. No tantrums about body image, external forces, pressures, therapy and other American nonsense. You have armpit hair now, take care of it, here's how. The end.

This is how it was with my daughter, too.
Fairly nonchalant. She is 12 and I noticed some wispy underarm hair recently when she was raising her arms to yawn or stretch. I said, “Oh, you need to start shaving under her arms.” Showed her where the razor was, told her to do it in the shower every few days to stay on top of it. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my DD is 9, and had hair. Also getting pubic hair, which is freaking me out cuz she’s still my baby! Anyhow, she brought it up to me once, like hey mom look at this. I think I told her that some girls shave it but she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to. She didn’t say anything else right away, but last night she was in the shower and called me in. She wanted to show me her armpits; I took my razor and just said let’s take care of that. Two seconds and it was over. No questions, no comment.

FYI, my sister got her period just after she turned 10. It happens.

OP's daughter was 9 in 2016, I'd guess by now she's figured out how to shave her armpits if she wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's rather a lot of hand-wringing about perfectly mundane things in this thread. My DS started growing armpit hair at 11. DH comes from a culture where body hair removal is normal. He told DS - in our family, men do not have armpit hair. Here's a razor and a deodorant. Do this every few days. And then he checked for a few months to remind him. End of story. No tantrums about body image, external forces, pressures, therapy and other American nonsense. You have armpit hair now, take care of it, here's how. The end.

This is how it was with my daughter, too.
Fairly nonchalant. She is 12 and I noticed some wispy underarm hair recently when she was raising her arms to yawn or stretch. I said, “Oh, you need to start shaving under her arms.” Showed her where the razor was, told her to do it in the shower every few days to stay on top of it. Done.

You can still be nonchalant without using the word "need." No one needs to shave their armpits, but it is nice when parents give their kids the tools and the choice.

[Anonymous]

Omg, I was thinking of this thread and asked my almost 9yo today if she has any armpit hair, just joking around. She mentioned she had a little and lo and behold, she does! Under one armpit, but not the other.

Yikes, this seems early, but not unexpected given some breast development the last 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's rather a lot of hand-wringing about perfectly mundane things in this thread. My DS started growing armpit hair at 11. DH comes from a culture where body hair removal is normal. He told DS - in our family, men do not have armpit hair. Here's a razor and a deodorant. Do this every few days. And then he checked for a few months to remind him. End of story. No tantrums about body image, external forces, pressures, therapy and other American nonsense. You have armpit hair now, take care of it, here's how. The end.

This is how it was with my daughter, too.
Fairly nonchalant. She is 12 and I noticed some wispy underarm hair recently when she was raising her arms to yawn or stretch. I said, “Oh, you need to start shaving under her arms.” Showed her where the razor was, told her to do it in the shower every few days to stay on top of it. Done.

I’m with you guys. Some things are simple. Shaving—thank god—is one of them. My 9 yo has little hairs starting to grow. I will get her razors & show her how to shave when she’s 11. Non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop bringing it up to her. Some people let their armpit hair grow. If it doesn't bother her, let her be. She should shave IF she wants, WHEN she wants.

How many women do you know with bushes under their arms?

[Anonymous]

If she wants to shave at 9 at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or, "in this family, we leave our bodies as they are. Some families shave hair from parts of their bodies, and some don't. Here's soap and deodorant, and here's how to use it."

If this were true you wouldn't use soap or deodorant.