Return the ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the wife should have realized something was up with this guy when they got engaged and he gave her a "borrowed for his lifetime" ring rather than a ring he bought for her himself with money he had earned.

That's really common in trust fund families. Just because your family is rich doesn't mean you've done anything for yourself.

I would rather be engaged to a man who has a job and buys a ring he can afford with his own earnings than one who gives me a more valuable borrowed ring. I share more values with a partner who works hard and lives within his own means than one who lives bigger only because of family money. It tells me a lot about character.

Another bullshitter. DCUMers would kill to marry into money. You're not choosing a working stiff over a Kennedy heir, for instance. No one believes you.

Not me. Marrying into money is the hardest way to earn it. I have counseled friends against marrying money. The family always tends to be controlling and the spouse is always an outsider. You're never going to measure up in the eyes of the family. Rich people are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the wife should have realized something was up with this guy when they got engaged and he gave her a "borrowed for his lifetime" ring rather than a ring he bought for her himself with money he had earned.

That's really common in trust fund families. Just because your family is rich doesn't mean you've done anything for yourself.

I would rather be engaged to a man who has a job and buys a ring he can afford with his own earnings than one who gives me a more valuable borrowed ring. I share more values with a partner who works hard and lives within his own means than one who lives bigger only because of family money. It tells me a lot about character.

Another bullshitter. DCUMers would kill to marry into money. You're not choosing a working stiff over a Kennedy heir, for instance. No one believes you.

Not me. Marrying into money is the hardest way to earn it. I have counseled friends against marrying money. The family always tends to be controlling and the spouse is always an outsider. You're never going to measure up in the eyes of the family. Rich people are the worst.

+1 My sister is in the position. Absolutely EVERYTHING comes with strings attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys mean to tell me that if some guy ran out on you with no means to care for your four kids and you had something really valuable to sell, you'd choose to raise your kids in poverty?

This site is overrun with sanctimonious liars.

Any person with half of a brain would know that she would be selling property that does not belong to her. It's no different than selling your friend's ring without her knowledge or permission. In other words, you know, theft.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is the anti-Kate Middleton poster. She read gossip that Wills and Kate are divorcing and thinks that she will marry Prince Harry. And she wants that sapphire ring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is the anti-Kate Middleton poster. She read gossip that Wills and Kate are divorcing and thinks that she will marry Prince Harry. And she wants that sapphire ring!

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH proposed to his wife with a ring that has been in his family for two generations. She knew at the time that it is a family heirloom. The ring actually belongs to a family trust and was passed to DH with the stipulation that it is his only for his lifetime and reverts to the family after that to be possessed by his sister's oldest living child. DH and wife are now divorcing after 11 years of marriage. Leaving aside the legal implications (that the family trust may sue DW to get the ring back), is DW morally obligated to give the ring back?

Does the answer change if DH is an abusive asshole who has yet to pay child support?

Does the answer change if DW is the abusive asshole who cheated on DH and left him and the kids for her lover?

I would hock it.

This is a rich family who cares. He probably had her sign a pre-nup and she will be pretty much destitute after the divorce. You can't get blood from a stone so sue away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the wife should have realized something was up with this guy when they got engaged and he gave her a "borrowed for his lifetime" ring rather than a ring he bought for her himself with money he had earned.

That's really common in trust fund families. Just because your family is rich doesn't mean you've done anything for yourself.

I would rather be engaged to a man who has a job and buys a ring he can afford with his own earnings than one who gives me a more valuable borrowed ring. I share more values with a partner who works hard and lives within his own means than one who lives bigger only because of family money. It tells me a lot about character.

Another bullshitter. DCUMers would kill to marry into money. You're not choosing a working stiff over a Kennedy heir, for instance. No one believes you.

Not me. Marrying into money is the hardest way to earn it. I have counseled friends against marrying money. The family always tends to be controlling and the spouse is always an outsider. You're never going to measure up in the eyes of the family. Rich people are the worst.

I know your type. Always counseling people against doing what you wish you could.

[Anonymous]

I'm no lawyer, but if DW didn't sign the paper saying she had to return the ring in case of divorce or at the end of her life, then why would she be legally obliged to give it back?

Now, I think she is morally obliged to give it back. I gave my ring back to my mother in law (who paid for my right, long story) because it was the right thing to do. But we split like decent human beings.

[Anonymous]

Yes, return the ring. Why is this 7 pages?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, return the ring. Why is this 7 pages?!

Because it's more complex than that. DW might need money for the kids and DH might not actually have anything in his own right that she can sue him for. I say trust be damned. Kids shouldn't go without just on a legal technicality.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, keeping a family tradition in tact is very important.

Despite the circumstances of the divorce, the ring should be given back to the husband's family immediately.

In theory.
However if my husband abused me & didn't pay me one dime in child support for our kids, I may maliciously keep the ring from him out of anger + retribution.
Or I might need to sell it to buy food for my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, return the ring. Why is this 7 pages?!

Because it's more complex than that. DW might need money for the kids and DH might not actually have anything in his own right that she can sue him for. I say trust be damned. Kids shouldn't go without just on a legal technicality.

No, it's not. Give him back the ring and sue him for child support. How much could she get for a ring with a tainted ownership anyway? She's being petty, ridiculous and short-sighted.

[Anonymous]

NP here, with a question about the trust -- if the ring loan is only for DH's lifetime, does that mean if he died while they were still married, the wife has to give back the ring then? Even without a divorce?

Interesting concept, this loaning of family heirlooms.
- signed, none in my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is the niece who is supposed to get the ring but her jerk aunt and uncle are messing it up.

Am I right?!

That's what I think too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here, with a question about the trust -- if the ring loan is only for DH's lifetime, does that mean if he died while they were still married, the wife has to give back the ring then? Even without a divorce?

Interesting concept, this loaning of family heirlooms.
- signed, none in my family

Yes, that's what "for the life of the beneficiary" means. It would suck for her, but again it was never her ring to begin with. Next in line would get it.