If you don't like DC, what prevents you from leaving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just really curious. No snark intended. It's just tiresome to read the ad nauseam posts about being miserable in DC. If I truly hated a place, I would leave right away. Life's too short. If another place calls to you, you have ties there, you just love love love it, and the people are awesomely friendly, surely you can find a job there? Why be so unhappy that your perspective is clouded to the point that you think everyone here is terrible? That's just illogical.

DH's industry is here and southern CA, prefer here. Wish it were N.E.

Aerospace?

Yes, a small niche of aerospace. Our plan is to find temp jobs around the world once the last child leaves the nest and then settle somewhere north of here.

[Anonymous]

For chrissakes didn't we just have a post like this?
How are people so dense?
J-O-B-S JOBS JOBS JOBS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always wondered why so many DCUMers believe they can only find work in DC. My sister has worked for the Federal government her entire career -- in California. There are Federal jobs in every state of the union. Is everyone on here a member of Congress?

Fed here (and lifelong dc resident who does not hate dc). I think its three things,

1) DC is MUCH more highly graded than anywhere else in the country and has higher locality pay. So if I wanted to move to like, Cleveland or something, I'd probably have to give up my 14 AND take a hit on locality, so there is the probability of a big cut

2) There are a lot LESS jobs elsewhere. In DC you can be a fed and bounce around constantly because there is no shortage of vacancies. This is not the case in other parts of the country, especially promotion potential jobs

3) 1 and 2 would make you think its logical to be prepared to jump to the private sector but govies (myself included) DO get spoiled. The job flexibility (for some of us at least) and the virtual impossibility of ever getting laid off or fired is really appealing if you're in that stage of life when you're having kids and getting through that young childhood phase.

That said, we are planning to move next year and I'm going to be able to telework and keep my government job so I totally agree with you. It IS doable and giving up 20 years of your life to a place you hate because of golden handcuffs is a bad life choice. I actually think thats why a lot of people hate dc, they want to leave but can't give up the benefits and then end up resenting the city for not giving them EVERYTHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For chrissakes didn't we just have a post like this?
How are people so dense?
J-O-B-S JOBS JOBS JOBS

I still don't think hating your life here is an equal trade off for a job. If you're qualified, you can find a job elsewhere in a place you like better. Instead, people stay here for the good income but inflict their belligerent misery on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, I dont live in DC anymore. Thank God. But I still reserve the right to snark on it, because it genuinely is a shitty place.

If you dont like it, don't open threads complaining about DC.

So you have PTSD that makes you complain about a place even after you've moved somewhere else? How unfulfilling is your life really? Dying to know what place you moved to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't leave because of DH's job. Not convinced where my family lives is any better. The grass is not always greener. All you have to do is look up a city data forum of a place you want to move to, and you will find a thread about how that place sucks.

This. I left an area many people probably think they might love to live in (SoCal) to move to DC. DC is not perfect, but there are many aspects of living here that I prefer over SoCal. Not the weather, tho.

Isn't it like 110 degrees there right now with rampant wildfires?

Not if you're west of the 5, which we were. It's a pretty mild, Mediterranean-like climate there. 70° and sunny year-round (although a little warmer in the summer months). Again, not hatin' on the weather there!

Although when we first moved there, there were some pretty bad wildfires outside of San Diego. Had never seen ash drifting from the sky before, and people walking around in facemasks--craziness.

I'm from the LA area, grew up just over the mountains from Malibu and worked in West LA for a few years after college. And I think people who move away romanticize the weather. No, it isn't 70 year round. I recall many, many crazy hot days. The dry Santa Ana winds in the Fall were miserable. The smell of brush fires was the smell of Fall, they happen every year. Followed by mudslides in the winter (although they seem to have gotten a bit better from what my parents report - perhaps improvement in erosion control). Droughts, having to worry about how much water you are using (it's not just a new thing). I'd happily spend Summers on the central coast of CA but other than Summer, I prefer the weather and lush greenery in DC with a beautiful Fall and some real winter but not as much as if we lived farther north.

Also, IME, the LA suburbs are no more "creative" than the DC suburbs. I also worked with the film industry in my first post-college job. There are plenty of uncreative jerks working in film.

But, plenty of people love LA, it's just not for me. Just like DC isn't for some people. PPs who like LA -- enjoy! I'm glad you are happy. NO PLACE is "perfect" for all people. If you feel like you are stuck here, make the best of it and try to find ways to enjoy it (or wallow in your misery if you prefer but that's not how I'd want to live). You might benefit from reading this book: "This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live", written by a woman who was stuck in Blacksburg VA when her husband got a job at VA Tech. https://www.amazon.com/This-Where-You-Belong-Science/dp/0525429123/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466424825&sr=1-5&keywords=love+where+you+live

I have worked now in DC for two different companies based in Southern California. I still do not get Californians' obsession with the weather and their cars. Seems so incredibly shallow to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For chrissakes didn't we just have a post like this?
How are people so dense?
J-O-B-S JOBS JOBS JOBS

Do you really think no one outside DC has a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^I mean, if you are sooooooo excited to live in DC, far be it for me to rain on your parade. The museums are great, absolutely. But the shittier and shittier with every passing year public transit makes it a hassle to get to, let alone the traffic

It's mainly the culture. There is such a dearth of creative culture in DC. Of course, it's a government center, so it's going to attract the wonk types, not the creatives, but still... for a large city the dearth of creativity on such a level is kind of remarkable.

Also the people. Again with the lack of creativity- it tends to attract many small minded rule follower types, whether liberal or conservative. It doesnt have the vibrancy of great world cities like New York, LA, San Francisco, even Seattle.

I think you'd be disappointed how uncreative NY and LA are. They are extremely expensive cities and many of the creative types are living off of their parents or trust funds. It's just truly not that creative. There are Starbucks and whole foods all over both of those cities.

Exactly. I don't think these people realize that the perfect place they left behind isn't anymore, if it ever was. My mother yearned for the city we moved away from for two decades. When they finally moved back, she discovered that either the city had changed, or she had, because it was not what she remembered.

FWIW, I know lots of creative people in DC -- noted sculptors, actors, etc. (and I'm a boring lawyer). Just because you don't know them, it doesn't mean they're not there. Maybe you're just not looking in the right place.

I'll say I could care less if a city has creative people in its culture or not. Just not important to me, compared to the things that matter: jobs, schools, well educated and interesting neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't leave because of DH's job. Not convinced where my family lives is any better. The grass is not always greener. All you have to do is look up a city data forum of a place you want to move to, and you will find a thread about how that place sucks.

This. I left an area many people probably think they might love to live in (SoCal) to move to DC. DC is not perfect, but there are many aspects of living here that I prefer over SoCal. Not the weather, tho.

Isn't it like 110 degrees there right now with rampant wildfires?

Not if you're west of the 5, which we were. It's a pretty mild, Mediterranean-like climate there. 70° and sunny year-round (although a little warmer in the summer months). Again, not hatin' on the weather there!

Although when we first moved there, there were some pretty bad wildfires outside of San Diego. Had never seen ash drifting from the sky before, and people walking around in facemasks--craziness.

I'm from the LA area, grew up just over the mountains from Malibu and worked in West LA for a few years after college. And I think people who move away romanticize the weather. No, it isn't 70 year round. I recall many, many crazy hot days. The dry Santa Ana winds in the Fall were miserable. The smell of brush fires was the smell of Fall, they happen every year. Followed by mudslides in the winter (although they seem to have gotten a bit better from what my parents report - perhaps improvement in erosion control). Droughts, having to worry about how much water you are using (it's not just a new thing). I'd happily spend Summers on the central coast of CA but other than Summer, I prefer the weather and lush greenery in DC with a beautiful Fall and some real winter but not as much as if we lived farther north.

Also, IME, the LA suburbs are no more "creative" than the DC suburbs. I also worked with the film industry in my first post-college job. There are plenty of uncreative jerks working in film.

But, plenty of people love LA, it's just not for me. Just like DC isn't for some people. PPs who like LA -- enjoy! I'm glad you are happy. NO PLACE is "perfect" for all people. If you feel like you are stuck here, make the best of it and try to find ways to enjoy it (or wallow in your misery if you prefer but that's not how I'd want to live). You might benefit from reading this book: "This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live", written by a woman who was stuck in Blacksburg VA when her husband got a job at VA Tech. https://www.amazon.com/This-Where-You-Belong-Science/dp/0525429123/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466424825&sr=1-5&keywords=love+where+you+live

I have worked now in DC for two different companies based in Southern California. I still do not get Californians' obsession with the weather and their cars. Seems so incredibly shallow to me.

So much of Californians' identity is wrapped up in their car. Probably because they spend more of their awake hours in their car than their stucco home. I know people who make $50K/year and lease a BMW - it's so stupid.
Also, if you move to California you better LOVE stucco homes. Stucco everywhere!

-SoCal born & raised (now in DC)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^I mean, if you are sooooooo excited to live in DC, far be it for me to rain on your parade. The museums are great, absolutely. But the shittier and shittier with every passing year public transit makes it a hassle to get to, let alone the traffic

It's mainly the culture. There is such a dearth of creative culture in DC. Of course, it's a government center, so it's going to attract the wonk types, not the creatives, but still... for a large city the dearth of creativity on such a level is kind of remarkable.

Also the people. Again with the lack of creativity- it tends to attract many small minded rule follower types, whether liberal or conservative. It doesnt have the vibrancy of great world cities like New York, LA, San Francisco, even Seattle.

I think you'd be disappointed how uncreative NY and LA are. They are extremely expensive cities and many of the creative types are living off of their parents or trust funds. It's just truly not that creative. There are Starbucks and whole foods all over both of those cities.

Exactly. I don't think these people realize that the perfect place they left behind isn't anymore, if it ever was. My mother yearned for the city we moved away from for two decades. When they finally moved back, she discovered that either the city had changed, or she had, because it was not what she remembered.

FWIW, I know lots of creative people in DC -- noted sculptors, actors, etc. (and I'm a boring lawyer). Just because you don't know them, it doesn't mean they're not there. Maybe you're just not looking in the right place.

I'll say I could care less if a city has creative people in its culture or not. Just not important to me, compared to the things that matter: jobs, schools, well educated and interesting neighbors.

That's what I dislike the most about it: there are NO interesting neighbors, only a lot of people who think they are special. They're all the same -- same huge houses, same kitchens, same lawns, same furniture, same smell (air freshener). Their kids have a handful of the same names. And yet they all think they are unique. They may be well educated but they can't have an intellectual conversation.

Burbs.

[Anonymous]

DH makes a s#%^^-load of money here that can't earn in a different location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't leave because of DH's job. Not convinced where my family lives is any better. The grass is not always greener. All you have to do is look up a city data forum of a place you want to move to, and you will find a thread about how that place sucks.

This. I left an area many people probably think they might love to live in (SoCal) to move to DC. DC is not perfect, but there are many aspects of living here that I prefer over SoCal. Not the weather, tho.

Isn't it like 110 degrees there right now with rampant wildfires?

Not if you're west of the 5, which we were. It's a pretty mild, Mediterranean-like climate there. 70° and sunny year-round (although a little warmer in the summer months). Again, not hatin' on the weather there!

Although when we first moved there, there were some pretty bad wildfires outside of San Diego. Had never seen ash drifting from the sky before, and people walking around in facemasks--craziness.

I'm from the LA area, grew up just over the mountains from Malibu and worked in West LA for a few years after college. And I think people who move away romanticize the weather. No, it isn't 70 year round. I recall many, many crazy hot days. The dry Santa Ana winds in the Fall were miserable. The smell of brush fires was the smell of Fall, they happen every year. Followed by mudslides in the winter (although they seem to have gotten a bit better from what my parents report - perhaps improvement in erosion control). Droughts, having to worry about how much water you are using (it's not just a new thing). I'd happily spend Summers on the central coast of CA but other than Summer, I prefer the weather and lush greenery in DC with a beautiful Fall and some real winter but not as much as if we lived farther north.

Also, IME, the LA suburbs are no more "creative" than the DC suburbs. I also worked with the film industry in my first post-college job. There are plenty of uncreative jerks working in film.

But, plenty of people love LA, it's just not for me. Just like DC isn't for some people. PPs who like LA -- enjoy! I'm glad you are happy. NO PLACE is "perfect" for all people. If you feel like you are stuck here, make the best of it and try to find ways to enjoy it (or wallow in your misery if you prefer but that's not how I'd want to live). You might benefit from reading this book: "This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live", written by a woman who was stuck in Blacksburg VA when her husband got a job at VA Tech. https://www.amazon.com/This-Where-You-Belong-Science/dp/0525429123/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466424825&sr=1-5&keywords=love+where+you+live

I have worked now in DC for two different companies based in Southern California. I still do not get Californians' obsession with the weather and their cars. Seems so incredibly shallow to me.

So much of Californians' identity is wrapped up in their car. Probably because they spend more of their awake hours in their car than their stucco home. I know people who make $50K/year and lease a BMW - it's so stupid.
Also, if you move to California you better LOVE stucco homes. Stucco everywhere!

-SoCal born & raised (now in DC)

Yes, this is why I fit better in the mid atlantic. I make $300K and drive a 7 year old car that cost $25K when new. My secretary drives a more expensive car than I do (she's from La Jolla).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^I mean, if you are sooooooo excited to live in DC, far be it for me to rain on your parade. The museums are great, absolutely. But the shittier and shittier with every passing year public transit makes it a hassle to get to, let alone the traffic

It's mainly the culture. There is such a dearth of creative culture in DC. Of course, it's a government center, so it's going to attract the wonk types, not the creatives, but still... for a large city the dearth of creativity on such a level is kind of remarkable.

Also the people. Again with the lack of creativity- it tends to attract many small minded rule follower types, whether liberal or conservative. It doesnt have the vibrancy of great world cities like New York, LA, San Francisco, even Seattle.

I think you'd be disappointed how uncreative NY and LA are. They are extremely expensive cities and many of the creative types are living off of their parents or trust funds. It's just truly not that creative. There are Starbucks and whole foods all over both of those cities.

Exactly. I don't think these people realize that the perfect place they left behind isn't anymore, if it ever was. My mother yearned for the city we moved away from for two decades. When they finally moved back, she discovered that either the city had changed, or she had, because it was not what she remembered.

FWIW, I know lots of creative people in DC -- noted sculptors, actors, etc. (and I'm a boring lawyer). Just because you don't know them, it doesn't mean they're not there. Maybe you're just not looking in the right place.

I'll say I could care less if a city has creative people in its culture or not. Just not important to me, compared to the things that matter: jobs, schools, well educated and interesting neighbors.

That's what I dislike the most about it: there are NO interesting neighbors, only a lot of people who think they are special. They're all the same -- same huge houses, same kitchens, same lawns, same furniture, same smell (air freshener). Their kids have a handful of the same names. And yet they all think they are unique. They may be well educated but they can't have an intellectual conversation.

Burbs.

So who are you living next door to them? What are your kids names? Why are some families living in a good neighborhood just trying to raise their families so repulsive to you?

The burbs are the burbs everywhere you go. If you want the interesting culture and character neighborhoods you have to live IN dc.

I just don't really believe that Belleview or Santa Clarita are that much different then McLean and Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^I mean, if you are sooooooo excited to live in DC, far be it for me to rain on your parade. The museums are great, absolutely. But the shittier and shittier with every passing year public transit makes it a hassle to get to, let alone the traffic

It's mainly the culture. There is such a dearth of creative culture in DC. Of course, it's a government center, so it's going to attract the wonk types, not the creatives, but still... for a large city the dearth of creativity on such a level is kind of remarkable.

Also the people. Again with the lack of creativity- it tends to attract many small minded rule follower types, whether liberal or conservative. It doesnt have the vibrancy of great world cities like New York, LA, San Francisco, even Seattle.

I think you'd be disappointed how uncreative NY and LA are. They are extremely expensive cities and many of the creative types are living off of their parents or trust funds. It's just truly not that creative. There are Starbucks and whole foods all over both of those cities.

Exactly. I don't think these people realize that the perfect place they left behind isn't anymore, if it ever was. My mother yearned for the city we moved away from for two decades. When they finally moved back, she discovered that either the city had changed, or she had, because it was not what she remembered.

FWIW, I know lots of creative people in DC -- noted sculptors, actors, etc. (and I'm a boring lawyer). Just because you don't know them, it doesn't mean they're not there. Maybe you're just not looking in the right place.

I'll say I could care less if a city has creative people in its culture or not. Just not important to me, compared to the things that matter: jobs, schools, well educated and interesting neighbors.

That's what I dislike the most about it: there are NO interesting neighbors, only a lot of people who think they are special. They're all the same -- same huge houses, same kitchens, same lawns, same furniture, same smell (air freshener). Their kids have a handful of the same names. And yet they all think they are unique. They may be well educated but they can't have an intellectual conversation.

Burbs.

So who are you living next door to them? What are your kids names? Why are some families living in a good neighborhood just trying to raise their families so repulsive to you?

The burbs are the burbs everywhere you go. If you want the interesting culture and character neighborhoods you have to live IN dc.

I just don't really believe that Belleview or Santa Clarita are that much different then McLean and Bethesda.

OR move to one of those neighborhoods, like TP or Glen Echo or Del Ray. There ARE vibrant little pockets of neighborhoods around, not everything is Reston.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't leave because of DH's job. Not convinced where my family lives is any better. The grass is not always greener. All you have to do is look up a city data forum of a place you want to move to, and you will find a thread about how that place sucks.

This. I left an area many people probably think they might love to live in (SoCal) to move to DC. DC is not perfect, but there are many aspects of living here that I prefer over SoCal. Not the weather, tho.

Isn't it like 110 degrees there right now with rampant wildfires?

Not if you're west of the 5, which we were. It's a pretty mild, Mediterranean-like climate there. 70° and sunny year-round (although a little warmer in the summer months). Again, not hatin' on the weather there!

Although when we first moved there, there were some pretty bad wildfires outside of San Diego. Had never seen ash drifting from the sky before, and people walking around in facemasks--craziness.

I'm from the LA area, grew up just over the mountains from Malibu and worked in West LA for a few years after college. And I think people who move away romanticize the weather. No, it isn't 70 year round. I recall many, many crazy hot days. The dry Santa Ana winds in the Fall were miserable. The smell of brush fires was the smell of Fall, they happen every year. Followed by mudslides in the winter (although they seem to have gotten a bit better from what my parents report - perhaps improvement in erosion control). Droughts, having to worry about how much water you are using (it's not just a new thing). I'd happily spend Summers on the central coast of CA but other than Summer, I prefer the weather and lush greenery in DC with a beautiful Fall and some real winter but not as much as if we lived farther north.

Also, IME, the LA suburbs are no more "creative" than the DC suburbs. I also worked with the film industry in my first post-college job. There are plenty of uncreative jerks working in film.

But, plenty of people love LA, it's just not for me. Just like DC isn't for some people. PPs who like LA -- enjoy! I'm glad you are happy. NO PLACE is "perfect" for all people. If you feel like you are stuck here, make the best of it and try to find ways to enjoy it (or wallow in your misery if you prefer but that's not how I'd want to live). You might benefit from reading this book: "This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live", written by a woman who was stuck in Blacksburg VA when her husband got a job at VA Tech. https://www.amazon.com/This-Where-You-Belong-Science/dp/0525429123/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466424825&sr=1-5&keywords=love+where+you+live

I have worked now in DC for two different companies based in Southern California. I still do not get Californians' obsession with the weather and their cars. Seems so incredibly shallow to me.

So much of Californians' identity is wrapped up in their car. Probably because they spend more of their awake hours in their car than their stucco home. I know people who make $50K/year and lease a BMW - it's so stupid.
Also, if you move to California you better LOVE stucco homes. Stucco everywhere!

-SoCal born & raised (now in DC)

Yes, this is why I fit better in the mid atlantic. I make $300K and drive a 7 year old car that cost $25K when new. My secretary drives a more expensive car than I do (she's from La Jolla).

Ha, that is so La Jolla. I'm sure her family has money and she's accustomed to "nice things." Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.
However, her family may actually be fairly middle class and just got lucky by buying in La Jolla many years ago. Californians were big abusers of HELOCs to fund extravagant lifestyles in the mid 00's.