HGC crowd is downright frightening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely, just an observation, but in my experience the HGCs do amplify this phenomenon. Which is just to say, people who engineer when they have kids are more likely to engineer their kids lives and who's at the HGC has more to do with parent than child.

I'm wondering what is the difference between "engineering" when you have kids and "planning" when you have kids.

Or doing neither. I feel like I am just a lot chiller and more relaxed about how things shake out with my happy accident than some of my parenting peers whose children were very very planned and their parenting style seems... not very chill.

Well, studies have shown that kids from older parents do a lot better academically.

--signed a mom in her mid 40's with a kid in HGC who didn't know about dcum or much about HGC when DC got in, who doesn't help with projects aside from buying the materials when required and talking through ideas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom, didn't go to college (at all), work a retail job and had my son when I was 24. He was at Barnsley a few years back. I felt like Teen Mom. The other moms were like 50 years old and I was 33-35. You could tell that a lot of the parents "helped" with the long term projects. No way in hell the kids were doing the work. Got even worse at Takoma with the science fair projects. You would need a lab to pull some of that shit off.

"Like 50 years old", meaning: in their late 30s to mid 40s. Ah, youth.

Nope. It means late forties and early fifties. Too old to have a 4th grader IMHO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom, didn't go to college (at all), work a retail job and had my son when I was 24. He was at Barnsley a few years back. I felt like Teen Mom. The other moms were like 50 years old and I was 33-35. You could tell that a lot of the parents "helped" with the long term projects. No way in hell the kids were doing the work. Got even worse at Takoma with the science fair projects. You would need a lab to pull some of that shit off.

"Like 50 years old", meaning: in their late 30s to mid 40s. Ah, youth.

Nope. It means late forties and early fifties. Too old to have a 4th grader IMHO

?

If all of these people in their late 40s and early 50s have a fourth-grader, then self-evidently it's not too old to have a fourth-grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely, just an observation, but in my experience the HGCs do amplify this phenomenon. Which is just to say, people who engineer when they have kids are more likely to engineer their kids lives and who's at the HGC has more to do with parent than child.

I'm wondering what is the difference between "engineering" when you have kids and "planning" when you have kids.

Or doing neither. I feel like I am just a lot chiller and more relaxed about how things shake out with my happy accident than some of my parenting peers whose children were very very planned and their parenting style seems... not very chill.

Ah. Unplanned pregnancy = chilled, relaxed parenting. Planned pregnancy = rigidly engineered parenting. Good to know.

I mean that how it seems to be shaking out in my social circle of large firm lawyers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely, just an observation, but in my experience the HGCs do amplify this phenomenon. Which is just to say, people who engineer when they have kids are more likely to engineer their kids lives and who's at the HGC has more to do with parent than child.

I'm wondering what is the difference between "engineering" when you have kids and "planning" when you have kids.

Or doing neither. I feel like I am just a lot chiller and more relaxed about how things shake out with my happy accident than some of my parenting peers whose children were very very planned and their parenting style seems... not very chill.

Well, studies have shown that kids from older parents do a lot better academically.

--signed a mom in her mid 40's with a kid in HGC who didn't know about dcum or much about HGC when DC got in, who doesn't help with projects aside from buying the materials when required and talking through ideas

Older parents correlate to higher SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I mean that how it seems to be shaking out in my social circle of large firm lawyers.

Do they have a lot of unplanned pregnancies? (Do you ask whether the pregnancy is unplanned? Do they tell you? I don't think that I've ever asked anybody whether their pregnancy was planned.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I mean that how it seems to be shaking out in my social circle of large firm lawyers.

Do they have a lot of unplanned pregnancies? (Do you ask whether the pregnancy is unplanned? Do they tell you? I don't think that I've ever asked anybody whether their pregnancy was planned.)

Yeah I'd say it's like 50/50 unplanned/planned

That's funny no one tells you, if you met me you would know right away, haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom, didn't go to college (at all), work a retail job and had my son when I was 24. He was at Barnsley a few years back. I felt like Teen Mom. The other moms were like 50 years old and I was 33-35. You could tell that a lot of the parents "helped" with the long term projects. No way in hell the kids were doing the work. Got even worse at Takoma with the science fair projects. You would need a lab to pull some of that shit off.

"Like 50 years old", meaning: in their late 30s to mid 40s. Ah, youth.

Nope. It means late forties and early fifties. Too old to have a 4th grader IMHO

?

If all of these people in their late 40s and early 50s have a fourth-grader, then self-evidently it's not too old to have a fourth-grader.

Also perplexed. If you have a fourth grader in your 40s, that means you had a kid in your late 30s. what is wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

I'm 42 and have a 4th grader. She is my youngest and I had her when I was 32. Is that really "too old"? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely, just an observation, but in my experience the HGCs do amplify this phenomenon. Which is just to say, people who engineer when they have kids are more likely to engineer their kids lives and who's at the HGC has more to do with parent than child.

I'm wondering what is the difference between "engineering" when you have kids and "planning" when you have kids.

Or doing neither. I feel like I am just a lot chiller and more relaxed about how things shake out with my happy accident than some of my parenting peers whose children were very very planned and their parenting style seems... not very chill.

Ah. Unplanned pregnancy = chilled, relaxed parenting. Planned pregnancy = rigidly engineered parenting. Good to know.

hilarious. unplanned pregnancy can also mean stress and not enough resources to raise a child. not sure how that would make someone "chill".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely, just an observation, but in my experience the HGCs do amplify this phenomenon. Which is just to say, people who engineer when they have kids are more likely to engineer their kids lives and who's at the HGC has more to do with parent than child.

I'm wondering what is the difference between "engineering" when you have kids and "planning" when you have kids.

Or doing neither. I feel like I am just a lot chiller and more relaxed about how things shake out with my happy accident than some of my parenting peers whose children were very very planned and their parenting style seems... not very chill.

Ah. Unplanned pregnancy = chilled, relaxed parenting. Planned pregnancy = rigidly engineered parenting. Good to know.

hilarious. unplanned pregnancy can also mean stress and not enough resources to raise a child. not sure how that would make someone "chill".

Not like globally but among UMC professionals. You know, the kind of people who live in good DC area school districts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I mean that how it seems to be shaking out in my social circle of large firm lawyers.

Do they have a lot of unplanned pregnancies? (Do you ask whether the pregnancy is unplanned? Do they tell you? I don't think that I've ever asked anybody whether their pregnancy was planned.)

Yeah I'd say it's like 50/50 unplanned/planned

That's funny no one tells you, if you met me you would know right away, haha

I don't think I would want to work with a law firm whose lawyers had so many unplanned pregnancies. Spontaneity and insouciance are not qualities I look for in a lawyer.

On the other hand, in reality, I wouldn't be hiring a large-firm lawyer anyway, so who cares what I think!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I mean that how it seems to be shaking out in my social circle of large firm lawyers.

Do they have a lot of unplanned pregnancies? (Do you ask whether the pregnancy is unplanned? Do they tell you? I don't think that I've ever asked anybody whether their pregnancy was planned.)

Yeah I'd say it's like 50/50 unplanned/planned

That's funny no one tells you, if you met me you would know right away, haha

I don't think I would want to work with a law firm whose lawyers had so many unplanned pregnancies. Spontaneity and insouciance are not qualities I look for in a lawyer.

On the other hand, in reality, I wouldn't be hiring a large-firm lawyer anyway, so who cares what I think!

I mean it's not like we all work at the same firm, just looking at my larger network of women I graduated with or know socially who also have kids.

Birth control failures aren't a marker of anything except, you know, having a birth control failure. And it makes sense that professional women with high incomes would be less likely to get it "taken care of" and therefore have that happy little accident result in a live birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a single mom, didn't go to college (at all), work a retail job and had my son when I was 24. He was at Barnsley a few years back. I felt like Teen Mom. The other moms were like 50 years old and I was 33-35. You could tell that a lot of the parents "helped" with the long term projects. No way in hell the kids were doing the work. Got even worse at Takoma with the science fair projects. You would need a lab to pull some of that shit off.

"Like 50 years old", meaning: in their late 30s to mid 40s. Ah, youth.

Nope. It means late forties and early fifties. Too old to have a 4th grader IMHO

I think you need to go back in your time machine and head back to 1950. I had my last at 38. No trouble conceiving, healthy baby. That would make me 47 when DC turns 9.

And PP is correct - older women tend to have already established their careers, high income earners. That's why we can pay attention to our kids' education a lot more. We have the time and money to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I mean it's not like we all work at the same firm, just looking at my larger network of women I graduated with or know socially who also have kids.

Birth control failures aren't a marker of anything except, you know, having a birth control failure. And it makes sense that professional women with high incomes would be less likely to get it "taken care of" and therefore have that happy little accident result in a live birth.

For an individual, a contraceptive failure is only a marker of a contraceptive failure. In contrast, a 50% contraceptive failure rate is a marker of a population that doesn't use effective contraception and/or doesn't use contraception effectively. Not something I would have associated with high-powered DCUMlandia lawyers, but evidently I was wrong.