DCUM MCPS parents.. help me with MCPS bus question

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure OP is still checking this message, but if she is, I'll give her an example of WHY she can't use a private bus stop. My dd has high functioning autism and also extreme anxiety. If she sees someone standing outside our house, she will (usually) start screaming, "I don't want to say hello!" over and over and over and then it will take about 30 minutes to get her to go outside. When she actually gets on the bus, she's fine. She's also kept on the bus until all the kids get off. It's the process of moving to and fro that upsets her. THAT'S why she gets a separate stop, per her IEP, and why our bus stop is the first. It's faster, easier, and is less disruptive for everyone. And, also per her IEP, it's a temporary stop, which means it could change.

In other words, many sn children without physical disabilities have difficulty transitioning from one situation (i.e. home) to another (i.e. bus), which is why they are given special accommodations (i.e. private bus stop). Thus, it's faster, more efficient and less traumatic for all to have private bus stops for those sn kids who need it, per their IEP.

Does that clarify the WHY, OP?

[Anonymous]

Not OP but previous PP's explanation is the best on this whole thread. Thank you!

Also a note of clarification. Several people mentioned that classroom aides that work with SN kids are assigned to a certain kid so they don't help others.

That's not true from our experience at our school. There is a SN student at our school who needs some physical assistance with transitions so she has an aide all day but she doesn't need her help during lessons and that sort of thing as she's academically ahead. During those times the aide ends up working with other students in the class. By my estimate when I was volunteering this week she spent less than a third of her time with the child with the IEP.

[Anonymous]

Yes, another big thank you to the PP at 11:59 (I'm also not OP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a solution. OP finds a way to transfer a brain injury from my kid to hers. Her kid can have my kid's CP and the bus stop right outside her house, so she is happy. My kid gets to walk, run, and enjoy the rest of her life as an able bodied person. I will gladly walk/drive/run/bike/crawl/skip that extra mile with my child for the next 9 months of school.

Please call me as soon as you have it figured out. I'll even pay you to take the special stop.

+1000. It amazes me that OP is an actual person who thinks the thoughts she is posting. Are there that many self-centered, entitled idiotbags walking around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure OP is still checking this message, but if she is, I'll give her an example of WHY she can't use a private bus stop. My dd has high functioning autism and also extreme anxiety. If she sees someone standing outside our house, she will (usually) start screaming, "I don't want to say hello!" over and over and over and then it will take about 30 minutes to get her to go outside. When she actually gets on the bus, she's fine. She's also kept on the bus until all the kids get off. It's the process of moving to and fro that upsets her. THAT'S why she gets a separate stop, per her IEP, and why our bus stop is the first. It's faster, easier, and is less disruptive for everyone. And, also per her IEP, it's a temporary stop, which means it could change.

In other words, many sn children without physical disabilities have difficulty transitioning from one situation (i.e. home) to another (i.e. bus), which is why they are given special accommodations (i.e. private bus stop). Thus, it's faster, more efficient and less traumatic for all to have private bus stops for those sn kids who need it, per their IEP.

Does that clarify the WHY, OP?

I am a PP and I appraciate you giving this full on explanation. Hopefully, the OP and other will see why she was denied. That being said, I would be livid if MCPS transpo felt it needed to give this type of answer to another parent seeking to piggyback my DS' situation. Maybe now, OP will leave it alone, but I STILL feel that she is not owed this type of detail.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP.

I pretty much stopped posting here once the bus depot finally contacted me and gave me a reason, without disclosing anything about anyone's special needs. All I wanted was to understand the reason, and not just "it's not allowed". Why is that such a crime?

And to the other PP that stated that most parents with such stops will call the bus driver to tell them not to come when their child is sick, that was a good enough reason. I did ask that question earlier on in this thread, as well as to the bus depot, and perhaps is this the reason why. This explained it better to me than "it's just not allowed".

However, it is not 100% true that a non SN child cannot use a stop meant for a SN child. If the parent at the residence is ok with it, and let's the driver know, then the non SN can use it. This is also something I had asked. This little detail is not posted anywhere on the bus rules. So, it was good to know.

I posted on here initially because the bus depot was not responsive, so I thought maybe some of the DCUM parents of SN kids on here could tell me. But, since this is an anonymous forum, I did ask much more specific details about why a SN child needed their own stop, and what might preclude a non SN child to use it. I didn't ask such detailed questions to the bus depot. I think some people assumed I did.

I thought some SN parents wouldn't mind sharing such information as it might've been a chance for us non SN kids' parents to understand. Admittedly, I don't know know very many kids with SN, so I wanted to understand, without asking anyone to their face, about such things. Education is key to overcoming ignorance, is it not? It also helps me to better explain to my DC when DC asks me questions about such kids, or kids that act out in class who may have SN. Just telling my kid, "I don't know why he does it" doesn't really help DC be understanding, and quite frankly, many parents won't understand it either. To those that posted details about why non SN kids can't use the same stop, yes, it helps to understand, not just for this issue, but also in other situations. No, it's not your job to educate others about your SN kids. But, again, as this is an anonymous forum, I didn't think you'd mind sharing such details.

I find it interesting that on this forum, people are willing to disclose so much about themselves, down to the most intimate of details, but when someone asks a question about details of their SN child, the claws come out. I guess I understand that given that most parents are quite protective of their kids (I am, too), but since this is an anonymous forum, I didn't think the parents would mind sharing the details.

It's too bad this thread became so nasty. I'm sorry you all took it so personally, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how nasty this thread turned out. Most of the threads on here seems to end up turning this way. Maybe my tone came across as entitled, and repeatedly asking on here came across as demanding. And, perhaps I contributed to that nastiness as I became testy, too, when the tone took a nasty turn. It could've been a better learning experience for some of us non SN parents, or at least for me. I, hope, at least it helped some other parents understand the whole issue better, too.

OP, signing off.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to understand people come to DCUM mainly for venting or bragging. Answering other's question is just a by-product.

[Anonymous]

She was bragging. My special snowflake got into a HGC and now I am entitled have my special snowflake at SN bus stop and if not I am going to be pushy to find out why, why why!

[Anonymous]

The transportation dept made an Executive decision regarding the pushy parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe there is a safety rule that non-IEP bus stops have to be at a corner and not say in the middle of the block and once your child uses that stop, it becomes a "public" stop.

This is a very reasonable explanation. Makes good sense. Also PP who texts to tell the bus not to stop to pick her kid up. All combined, OP should give up on this one. Let go.

[Anonymous]

It also didn't help that OP was at some point "ok" with an SN child with a physical disability, but would not let up on finding a reason to deny bus stop sharing if the SN kids had non-physical disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was bragging. My special snowflake got into a HGC and now I am entitled have my special snowflake at SN bus stop and if not I am going to be pushy to find out why, why why!

That was not what op meant at all. You need to stop projecting.

[Anonymous]

It's too bad this thread became so nasty. I'm sorry you all took it so personally, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how nasty this thread turned out. Most of the threads on here seems to end up turning this way. Maybe my tone came across as entitled, and repeatedly asking on here came across as demanding. And, perhaps I contributed to that nastiness as I became testy, too, when the tone took a nasty turn. It could've been a better learning experience for some of us non SN parents, or at least for me. I, hope, at least it helped some other parents understand the whole issue better, too.

You did seem very demanding in your insistence of knowing why. It became pretty evident you are clueless about IEP's. I really don't mean to make this an offensive statement, I didn't know how to spell IEP prior to my daughter needing one. :blush:

You have to fight MCPS tooth and nail for every single accommodation, especially if it costs them any money. Unless you have been through the process you have no clue as to how difficult and expensive it is. I guarantee you that the parents had to provide in an enormous amount of proof that their child needed a special stop. Most SN parents desperately want their kids to mainstream, so if the child could be with other children at a bus stop I am sure the parents would love that. Every day with a SN child is a struggle, it never gets easier.

Imagine if you were the parent of the PP who wrote about her daughters panic attacks, now think about what it's like for that family to go on vacation or have to go to the grocery store, or an unplanned trip to the emergency room.

As a parent with a SN child I find your insistence of wanting to know why very insulting. You were told it was policy and kept going back for an 'explanation', the only way to explain this situation beyond policy is to breach this families privacy, which really was your end game.

You do sound very entitled and also like a person who does not respect boundaries that are blatantly obvious to everyone else. You need to use this as a learning moment to look inside yourself and really think about the lessons and examples your provide to your child.