airplane -- seats not together with 5 year olds

[Anonymous]

1) I would not even consider booking a flight with DC unless either (a) I could reserve two adjacent seats, or (b) I could reserve desirable (non-middle) seats such that a "trade" would not inconvenience anyone. It would be inconsiderate and presumptuous to do otherwise.

2) I would gladly give up my seat in most circumstances to allow a parent to sit with a young child. I have no interest in making a child suffer for the mistakes/oversights of adults.

The two positions are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had good luck and bad luck. The one time I really couldn't get anyone to switch I went and told the flight attendant and the pilot, who happened to be standing there, we needed to get off the plane and have our luggage taken off, as my 5-year old was petrified of sitting alone and I very calmly shared what my experience as a mother to this child told me would happen if we tried to force him to sit alone in a middle seat. The flight attendant, who up to that point had taken a "your problem, not mine" attitude, was quickly moved to action. It helped I think that the pilot was appalled to learn that a scared 5-year old was expected to sit alone (in between two large men, one of whom was already obviously drunk or high or both).
Now I simply won't take a plane if I can't book two seats together at the time of booking. This makes Southwest a no-go from the start. While my family is by no means rich, I am fortunate that I can opt to pay more for this.

Your kid sounds like a spoiled, sheltered brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, DCUM. Answer this question for me.

I would like to fly to Oregon to visit my family with my 5 year old child and my 45 year old husband. My mom lives in a town that is not served by Southwest but is served by other airlines (with a connection).

1) How far in advance should I book this vacation, in order to comply with DCUM's "far enough in advance" etiquette?
2) If I book on one of the 2 airlines that flies into the town where my mom lives and when booking, I am only given the option of paying $50-75 extra per seat per flight to sit together or selecting seats that are not close together, am I truly expected to pay $600-900 extra to upgrade our seats for this trip, or is it okay if I pick from the available seats and then try to change when I check in/at the gate/on the plane?

I think you math is iffy - $50X6= $300, not $600. $75X6=$450, not $900.

So if ALL THREE OF YOU must sit together guranteed, then yes, you need to pay $300-$450. If you only need one parent next to your 5 year old, then you are looking at $200-$300. Doesn't seem that unreasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had good luck and bad luck. The one time I really couldn't get anyone to switch I went and told the flight attendant and the pilot, who happened to be standing there, we needed to get off the plane and have our luggage taken off, as my 5-year old was petrified of sitting alone and I very calmly shared what my experience as a mother to this child told me would happen if we tried to force him to sit alone in a middle seat. The flight attendant, who up to that point had taken a "your problem, not mine" attitude, was quickly moved to action. It helped I think that the pilot was appalled to learn that a scared 5-year old was expected to sit alone (in between two large men, one of whom was already obviously drunk or high or both).
Now I simply won't take a plane if I can't book two seats together at the time of booking. This makes Southwest a no-go from the start. While my family is by no means rich, I am fortunate that I can opt to pay more for this.

Your kid sounds like a spoiled, sheltered brat.

Whereas insulting other people's children reflects a commendable maturity. Anonymity is damaging you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At five, both of our kids sat alone on direct flights to California. No problem. I'm guessing it won't be a big deal for the kids or other passengers if your kids wind up seated separately (though I'm guessing someone will offer to switch seats). The OP's kids are five, not three, so I don't think there's much to worry about, especially if she prepares them beforehand. They may see if as a big kid adventure!

Good for your kids. You're lucky. My kids are exceptionally shy, with one having a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and would have been terrified to fly at age 5 seated next to strangers with mommy/daddy far away.

We always fly Southwest whenever we can to try to avoid these situations.

And that is precisely what should happen, and confirms that you are a caring parent and a decent person.

Contrast that with OP - her husband had a work trip scheduled a month out, she thought, "Great, we can make this into a vacation!", went to book tickets, discovered that the flight she wanted (likely the one her husband was on/needed to be on) only had middle seats, and went ahead and booked anyway. Now, not one but two people are expected to switch to one of her middle seats so her kids will be able to sit next to someone. She could have booked Southwest and avoided this problem - but she didn't. That likely would have been inconvenient for her, and we can't have that - let's just inconvenience other people instead.

I dislike calling people names, even on DCUM, but OP is a jerk.

Wow, that is harsh. Maybe DH's work already bought his ticket and she wanted to be on the same flight so that they could go out together to have help with the kids. Maybe she thought it would be easier to find 2 rows each with 2 seats together than 3 seats in a row, which she'd need if she flies without DH. Maybe they can't really afford an entire vacation together outside of tagging along on DH's work trip and this is one chance they have. Maybe DH's work trip is located in a city where OP's sister or best friend live whom she never gets to see and she thought it was a great opportunity. Maybe Southwest doesn't fly to the city she needs to go to. Maybe other flights were booked and/or would have landed at midnight or left at 5 in the morning.

I'm the "decent" person above who mentioned we fly SW, btw. I can think of lots of situations that would put OP in this bind. I'm not going to call out your lack of empathy because I tend to cut people slack and can imagine you might be having a bad day, are just irritable/cranky because of something else, and are using this forum as your outlet. I hope things get better for you.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You all are assholes, and ones who clearly don't book plane tickets for themselves often.

The majority of US airlines DO NOT show all available seats when you book. They have a limited number 'available for reservation'. You can request a seat, but it's NOT guaranteed. Equipment changes, flights are overbooked, etc etc etc. As a frequent traveler with two young kids on my own, I've had seats changed on me when I went to check in. Confirmed 24 h in advance our seat assignment was XYZ, and then our boarding passes are issued for ABC.

So no, the OP is not self-centered, entitled, and whatever else you all are throwing at her for asking about what to do.

Someone will switch with you. The gate agent or flight attendant will help you figure it out. I just had to do this a couple days ago. On another recent trip, our 4 yo

If the rest of you are so worried about losing their precious aisle seats and *gasp* having to sit in the middle, why didn't YOU pay for first class so that wasn't a possibility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, DCUM. Answer this question for me.

I would like to fly to Oregon to visit my family with my 5 year old child and my 45 year old husband. My mom lives in a town that is not served by Southwest but is served by other airlines (with a connection).

1) How far in advance should I book this vacation, in order to comply with DCUM's "far enough in advance" etiquette?
2) If I book on one of the 2 airlines that flies into the town where my mom lives and when booking, I am only given the option of paying $50-75 extra per seat per flight to sit together or selecting seats that are not close together, am I truly expected to pay $600-900 extra to upgrade our seats for this trip, or is it okay if I pick from the available seats and then try to change when I check in/at the gate/on the plane?

I'm wondering how you exist in life if you really can't muscle up the brain power you use to exist to get through each day to figure out that you CALL THE FREAKING AIRLINE.

People, you can't be this stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had good luck and bad luck. The one time I really couldn't get anyone to switch I went and told the flight attendant and the pilot, who happened to be standing there, we needed to get off the plane and have our luggage taken off, as my 5-year old was petrified of sitting alone and I very calmly shared what my experience as a mother to this child told me would happen if we tried to force him to sit alone in a middle seat. The flight attendant, who up to that point had taken a "your problem, not mine" attitude, was quickly moved to action. It helped I think that the pilot was appalled to learn that a scared 5-year old was expected to sit alone (in between two large men, one of whom was already obviously drunk or high or both).
Now I simply won't take a plane if I can't book two seats together at the time of booking. This makes Southwest a no-go from the start. While my family is by no means rich, I am fortunate that I can opt to pay more for this.

Your kid sounds like a spoiled, sheltered brat.

Wow, what an asshole! What planet do you live on. Not exactly unheard of that a child that age would be scared to sit without there parent next to strangers. What is your problem??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had good luck and bad luck. The one time I really couldn't get anyone to switch I went and told the flight attendant and the pilot, who happened to be standing there, we needed to get off the plane and have our luggage taken off, as my 5-year old was petrified of sitting alone and I very calmly shared what my experience as a mother to this child told me would happen if we tried to force him to sit alone in a middle seat. The flight attendant, who up to that point had taken a "your problem, not mine" attitude, was quickly moved to action. It helped I think that the pilot was appalled to learn that a scared 5-year old was expected to sit alone (in between two large men, one of whom was already obviously drunk or high or both).
Now I simply won't take a plane if I can't book two seats together at the time of booking. This makes Southwest a no-go from the start. While my family is by no means rich, I am fortunate that I can opt to pay more for this.

Your kid sounds like a spoiled, sheltered brat.

So, you had 2 seats, one of which was next to someone high, and that's the one you chose to put your 5 year old in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of you are ridiculous. No, everyone can't just pay more or take another airline. Those options aren't always available. One month isn't last minute, and sometimes work schedules, family emergencies, etc make it difficult or impossible to plan further ahead. And yet, little kids should not have to sit alone. Airlines created this problem by holding out SO many seats for which passengers must pay extra, greatly limiting the availability of "regular" seats. Guess what? Almost no one wants those seats, so they sit unreserved, until the day of the flight when they are given to whoever doesn't have a seat, without having paid extra. Meanwhile, families can't book seats (either at all or without paying a lot more) together because of the airlines' BS attempts to mickle and dime us for every damn thing. It's the airlines' fault, but it doesn't kill people to be nice and trade seats. With a family of four like OP's, just 2 of 8 possible people need to change seats. It's unlikely they all have some condition making this difficult. DCUMers love to wag their tongues about "entitled" parents who should have just done this or that, but fortunately, most people in real life are nicer and more helpful.

I agree with this. This thread is crazy.

I do like the idea of offering money. Heck, there was a time in my life I would have switched for $20.

So you are, no questions asked, going to switch out of your aisle/window seat into a middle seat for a 5-hour cross country flight?

NP here -- I would if the airline offered me a free ticket or even some $$ toward my next flight with them. Absolutely.

PP--I would as well, but that's not the scenario. The scenario is OP asking you to trade your window/aisle seat for a middle seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, DCUM. Answer this question for me.

I would like to fly to Oregon to visit my family with my 5 year old child and my 45 year old husband. My mom lives in a town that is not served by Southwest but is served by other airlines (with a connection).

1) How far in advance should I book this vacation, in order to comply with DCUM's "far enough in advance" etiquette?
2) If I book on one of the 2 airlines that flies into the town where my mom lives and when booking, I am only given the option of paying $50-75 extra per seat per flight to sit together or selecting seats that are not close together, am I truly expected to pay $600-900 extra to upgrade our seats for this trip, or is it okay if I pick from the available seats and then try to change when I check in/at the gate/on the plane?

This is easy.

1. Long enough so that you can get at least 2 seats together.

2. If you are in this situation, you have already failed the answer to your first question. (And if you are the PP who couldn't get seats together for a Christmas trip to Oregon 3 months out, this year start booking in August. If you wait until three months out again, history likely will repeat itself, and as Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result).

But, in any event, tt likely won't be that much - it's unlikely you'd have to pay for two seats on every connection. But, if you find yourself in that situation, there are several options. First, if there are aisle/window seats available but just not in the same row, take then (try not to get the one next to the bathroom) and I think you're fine to try to trade on the plane. It's unusual that someone wouldn't swap an aisle for an aisle, or a window for a window. If there are only middle seats left, you have 2 choices - pay for the certainty, or be a selfish jerk, book the middle seats, and go into the trip knowing you will have to be a jerk to 4 different people so you can sit next to your kid (and people might just refuse). Your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had good luck and bad luck. The one time I really couldn't get anyone to switch I went and told the flight attendant and the pilot, who happened to be standing there, we needed to get off the plane and have our luggage taken off, as my 5-year old was petrified of sitting alone and I very calmly shared what my experience as a mother to this child told me would happen if we tried to force him to sit alone in a middle seat. The flight attendant, who up to that point had taken a "your problem, not mine" attitude, was quickly moved to action. It helped I think that the pilot was appalled to learn that a scared 5-year old was expected to sit alone (in between two large men, one of whom was already obviously drunk or high or both).
Now I simply won't take a plane if I can't book two seats together at the time of booking. This makes Southwest a no-go from the start. While my family is by no means rich, I am fortunate that I can opt to pay more for this.

Your kid sounds like a spoiled, sheltered brat.

Whereas insulting other people's children reflects a commendable maturity. Anonymity is damaging you.

She basically threatened the flight attendant that her child would throw a huge violent tantrum if he had to sit alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are assholes, and ones who clearly don't book plane tickets for themselves often.

The majority of US airlines DO NOT show all available seats when you book. They have a limited number 'available for reservation'. You can request a seat, but it's NOT guaranteed. Equipment changes, flights are overbooked, etc etc etc. As a frequent traveler with two young kids on my own, I've had seats changed on me when I went to check in. Confirmed 24 h in advance our seat assignment was XYZ, and then our boarding passes are issued for ABC.

So no, the OP is not self-centered, entitled, and whatever else you all are throwing at her for asking about what to do.

Someone will switch with you. The gate agent or flight attendant will help you figure it out. I just had to do this a couple days ago. On another recent trip, our 4 yo

If the rest of you are so worried about losing their precious aisle seats and *gasp* having to sit in the middle, why didn't YOU pay for first class so that wasn't a possibility?

Yes, all those things do happen. However, NONE of them happened to OP. She went into this knowing she had a slew of middle seats and young kids. So yes, she is self-centered and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Is OP "entitled" or "rude" for asking the question about potentially switching? No

Is OP "entitled" or "rude" for asking other passengers if anyone is willing to switch seats with her? No

Is OP "entitled" or "rude" if she made the reservations with the expectation that someone will 100% switch seats with her? Yes

We don't really know the answer to question 3, so we can't really make that determination.

Why isn't it a reasonable compromise for OP to switch into the middle seat in front or behind her child? That way she can make sure he won't get kidnapped (for those worried about that), and will be close enough to deal with any major issues (like chaperoning a bathroom trip).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At five, both of our kids sat alone on direct flights to California. No problem. I'm guessing it won't be a big deal for the kids or other passengers if your kids wind up seated separately (though I'm guessing someone will offer to switch seats). The OP's kids are five, not three, so I don't think there's much to worry about, especially if she prepares them beforehand. They may see if as a big kid adventure!

Good for your kids. You're lucky. My kids are exceptionally shy, with one having a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and would have been terrified to fly at age 5 seated next to strangers with mommy/daddy far away.

We always fly Southwest whenever we can to try to avoid these situations.

And that is precisely what should happen, and confirms that you are a caring parent and a decent person.

Contrast that with OP - her husband had a work trip scheduled a month out, she thought, "Great, we can make this into a vacation!", went to book tickets, discovered that the flight she wanted (likely the one her husband was on/needed to be on) only had middle seats, and went ahead and booked anyway. Now, not one but two people are expected to switch to one of her middle seats so her kids will be able to sit next to someone. She could have booked Southwest and avoided this problem - but she didn't. That likely would have been inconvenient for her, and we can't have that - let's just inconvenience other people instead.

I dislike calling people names, even on DCUM, but OP is a jerk.

Wow, that is harsh. Maybe DH's work already bought his ticket and she wanted to be on the same flight so that they could go out together to have help with the kids. Maybe she thought it would be easier to find 2 rows each with 2 seats together than 3 seats in a row, which she'd need if she flies without DH. Maybe they can't really afford an entire vacation together outside of tagging along on DH's work trip and this is one chance they have. Maybe DH's work trip is located in a city where OP's sister or best friend live whom she never gets to see and she thought it was a great opportunity. Maybe Southwest doesn't fly to the city she needs to go to. Maybe other flights were booked and/or would have landed at midnight or left at 5 in the morning.

I'm the "decent" person above who mentioned we fly SW, btw. I can think of lots of situations that would put OP in this bind. I'm not going to call out your lack of empathy because I tend to cut people slack and can imagine you might be having a bad day, are just irritable/cranky because of something else, and are using this forum as your outlet. I hope things get better for you.

Yes, maybe some, or all, all of those things happened. (Maybe they didn't, too - this really is a pointless bit of speculation.) But just because they exist does not mean they "put OP in this bind." That's arrant nonsense. OP put herself in this bind. She wasn't forced to go, she chose to, and chose to book tickets on a full flight where she isn't sitting next to her kids. But all that means is that OP thinks it's fine to shift the burden of the challenges in her life onto strangers. I don't. And I submit that empathy includes recognizing that some things aren't appropriate to put on others.