airplane -- seats not together with 5 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? They will do it for you at check-in. You don't even have to ask. They have notice it already that your child is apart from you.

This is not true. I believe that people are generally decent deep down and someone will help you, and the gate agents are usually very good about trying to help (key word here is trying), but the airlines do not care. And will do NOTHING about it without a lot of pressure from you.

[Anonymous]

10:32 here. BTW, often times, it isn't until you have spent all the time figuring out which time works for you that you actually get to choose seats. So, OP may have done all sorts of planning, credit card in hand, and not had any seats to switch to. Just saying, you people are awful. I hope all of you have to sit separated from your kids through absolutely no fault of your own. Doesn't matter if you picked the most expensive fare, btw. I booked months out for a flight, and the only thing left was aisle seats and the fare was over $1000 for California because the airlines are flying smaller planes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that you should try to reassign your seats when you check in, but you can also try talking to the gate agent when you arrive. If none of those things work, I'm certain that someone will switch with you.

Don't count on people switching with you. If you read articles about traveling with kids, you will see that the number one complaint of the other passengers is the attitude of parents who "expect" to have people accommodate their seat needs at the last minute. People don't want to change seats - they have chosen their seats in advance, perhaps paid extra for them, have preference for window or aisle, etc. You will seriously steam off other people on the plane if you have to ask them to change seats.

That said, when I have flown and not been able to book seats together at the time of book, I immediately call the airline and request seats together (I don't call the website I booked through, or the airline I booked through - to the extent it is a codeshare. You have to call the operating airline directly). I offer to pay extra at that time for priority seats to get them together. And in the couple cases where they couldn't do anything on the phone, they said not to worry and that I should just raise the issue when I check in, and that it was their airline's policy that kids couldn't fly separate from their parents. In those cases, I still called within 24 hours to see if there was anything they could do so as to not leave it last minute (they couldn't) and ultimately they put us together when I checked in.

You should be prepared to have your seats in two chunks (that is, if both parents are flying, one parent sits with one twin and the other with the other).

Just an FYI - this is not typically an airline policy. I was told this once by an agent at United (after the seats we had prebooked together got moved around) that this was their policy and she assured me the issue would be resolved at check in, only to be informed over and over again by everyone else I spoke with that they have no such policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, that's a pretty crummy situation. Not only are you all separate, but you don't have equal trade value (i.e. I'll trade my window seat in another row for your window seat next to my child).

On top of that, assuming you are leaving from DC, that is probably a 4-5+ hour flight, so switching someone out of their preferred aisle/window seat that they booked in advance isn't a small sacrifice. If it was a 1-2 hour flight, it's a little different.

This may seem a little harsh (and I'm saying this objectively, not as personal attack/judgment), but I think it would be pretty rude to displace someone from their chosen seat (especially on a longer flight) without having an equal trade seat--especially when you knew this while booking the flight.

If you don't get lucky with a cancellation etc., maybe a good compromise would be to take the middle seat behind your child, that way you are close enough if there is a meltdown.

Are you out of your ever loving mind? Would you leave YOUR 5 year old in a row alone with a stranger, rather than ask if someone would be willing to switch?

Different poster here: I would NOT leave my 5 year old with a stranger on a plane. Because of that, I would NOT book a flight that put me in that position.

It is not that simple. It's happened to me three times now that I've booked a flight well in advance and booked seats with my family, only to have the equipment change and our seats end up shuffled all over the plane. Same airline all three times. We avoid flying them as much as possible now (but it's hard sometimes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:32 here. BTW, often times, it isn't until you have spent all the time figuring out which time works for you that you actually get to choose seats. So, OP may have done all sorts of planning, credit card in hand, and not had any seats to switch to. Just saying, you people are awful. I hope all of you have to sit separated from your kids through absolutely no fault of your own. Doesn't matter if you picked the most expensive fare, btw. I booked months out for a flight, and the only thing left was aisle seats and the fare was over $1000 for California because the airlines are flying smaller planes.

As one of the people you are calling awful, I think your anger/judgement is misplaced. Why is the onus placed on all of the other passengers to accommodate OP's situation? And if they don't, or at least try to provide practical solutions or ideas to avoid the situation in the first place, are considered "awful"?

If I am on a 5-hour flight to California, and I book a window seat because I need to sleep or an aisle seat because I have a small bladder/claustrophobia/whatever, and last minute, someone asks me to switch into a middle seat, I'm going to be annoyed. I don't think that makes me an "awful" person and I don't think that makes OP an awful person for asking. That's just the situation.

-Someone with a family of five who realizes the reality of flying and that sacrifices may need to be made when booking flights (either booking a different flight at a less convenient time, a more expensive flight, or sucking it up and dealing with "family flight separation").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, that's a pretty crummy situation. Not only are you all separate, but you don't have equal trade value (i.e. I'll trade my window seat in another row for your window seat next to my child).

On top of that, assuming you are leaving from DC, that is probably a 4-5+ hour flight, so switching someone out of their preferred aisle/window seat that they booked in advance isn't a small sacrifice. If it was a 1-2 hour flight, it's a little different.

This may seem a little harsh (and I'm saying this objectively, not as personal attack/judgment), but I think it would be pretty rude to displace someone from their chosen seat (especially on a longer flight) without having an equal trade seat--especially when you knew this while booking the flight.

If you don't get lucky with a cancellation etc., maybe a good compromise would be to take the middle seat behind your child, that way you are close enough if there is a meltdown.

Are you out of your ever loving mind? Would you leave YOUR 5 year old in a row alone with a stranger, rather than ask if someone would be willing to switch?

Different poster here: I would NOT leave my 5 year old with a stranger on a plane. Because of that, I would NOT book a flight that put me in that position.

It is not that simple. It's happened to me three times now that I've booked a flight well in advance and booked seats with my family, only to have the equipment change and our seats end up shuffled all over the plane. Same airline all three times. We avoid flying them as much as possible now (but it's hard sometimes).

Now in this case, the airline should absolutely be on it. But this is very different from OP who chose her seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

Well, my daughter was 4 at the time. The airline's unaccompanied minor program does not begin until age 5. So yes, the airline should force someone out of their seat in order to comply with their own policy. You select the ages of children at booking, so this should actually not be a difficult ask. I could not find any policy specifically related to children between the ages of 2 (when they need a seat) and 5 (when they are permitted to travel alone) and I could not get any clarification on whether "alone" applies to children whose parents/guardians are on the plane but seated elsewhere.

Either way, it is the airline's responsibility to accommodate passengers' needs, including the needs of families traveling with small children to have at least one parent seated next to a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

Well, my daughter was 4 at the time. The airline's unaccompanied minor program does not begin until age 5. So yes, the airline should force someone out of their seat in order to comply with their own policy. You select the ages of children at booking, so this should actually not be a difficult ask. I could not find any policy specifically related to children between the ages of 2 (when they need a seat) and 5 (when they are permitted to travel alone) and I could not get any clarification on whether "alone" applies to children whose parents/guardians are on the plane but seated elsewhere.

Either way, it is the airline's responsibility to accommodate passengers' needs, including the needs of families traveling with small children to have at least one parent seated next to a child.

So, you have booked your child a seat not next to your own...and then you expect the airline to force someone else to move to accommodate you? Talk about entitled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

Well, my daughter was 4 at the time. The airline's unaccompanied minor program does not begin until age 5. So yes, the airline should force someone out of their seat in order to comply with their own policy. You select the ages of children at booking, so this should actually not be a difficult ask. I could not find any policy specifically related to children between the ages of 2 (when they need a seat) and 5 (when they are permitted to travel alone) and I could not get any clarification on whether "alone" applies to children whose parents/guardians are on the plane but seated elsewhere.

Either way, it is the airline's responsibility to accommodate passengers' needs, including the needs of families traveling with small children to have at least one parent seated next to a child.

So, you have booked your child a seat not next to your own...and then you expect the airline to force someone else to move to accommodate you? Talk about entitled!

Seats together were not an option - not at booking, not at check in, and not at the gate, where we were told BY THE AIRLINE that we should just switch with someone on the plane. I'll tell you what: I will book my tickets, pick the seats that are available to me, and if you're the person seated next to my child and you don't want to trade, I hope you guys have a great flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

This is obviously the airline's responsibility. They should hold rows to seat families with small children and persons with disabilities together in cases of separation so that 24 hours out this issue can be resolved. Actually some airlines claim that they do do that. But it's not true in practice in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

Not the OP.

This is often not a question of planning better. This is the airlines trying to make money. If you book through a third party site, often you get whatever seats the third party site if authorized to give - and sometimes those are only crappy seats. Also, some airlines, like US Air, charge extra for the window and aisle seats, so this might actually be an affordability question. Most airlines do release some seats 24 hours in advance, so get on the website of your airline then and see if you can move your seats together. 24 hours in advance is also when most of the upgrades happen, so some seats may free up as passengers with status get moved around. I have also had help from the gate agent or the flight attendants, but don't count on it.

I agree, though, don't count on anyone switching with you if they had to pay for the aisle or window. Don't expect help from the flight attendants. I was on a United flight recently in economy plus window, with the middle seat open and the aisle occupied. The lady in the aisle was upgraded to first, and the poor guy in the middle seat in non economy row behind us was not allowed to move to the empty aisle seat, even after the plane took off, because "people pay for those seats" according to the flight attendant. Maybe the flight attendants will be nicer on your flight.

I find it reprehensible that the airline split families up on flights in the interest of extracting more money. How can a 5 year old sit by themselves?

Quite easily. What's wrong with everyone's 5 yr olds? That's the minimum age to fly alone on the airplane, nevermind having your parents on the same flight. It's not that big a deal. I've had to sit apart from my very young kids on flights of over 10 hrs. There are movies, food, etc to keep them entertained. They're not going anywhere.

I booked a seat for my then 6 month old DS, who the airline put 7 rows away from me. They refused to help, nobody wanted to switch, so I strapped him in his car seat, told the guy next to him to just nurse him when he woke up crying.

He switch pretty quickly after that.

We an all agree that the airlines often have issues with seating, but it's not the huge problem people always make it out to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

So far, we've always had luck. People don't like seeing families separated and most people don't want to deal with a young child next to them on their own.

I think this is a further deterioration of airline service. Don't know what airline you're on, but for United, only by paying a few hundred more could you be guaranteed a seat next to your toddler or young child. Absolutely ridiculous.

DO you have difficulty reading? OP booked a month out, and there were only middle seats available. How on earth is this the airline's fault? The airline is supposed to hold rows open in case a family wants to book a last-minute vacation and needs to fly together? You're an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We booked our vacation flight to California about a month out -- but there were no seats available next to each other... and only middle seats available. Our twins are 5 yrs old. Have people generally had luck with people switching seats (even tho they have windows & aisles, probably don't want to sit next to needy, possibly crying 5 year olds??) or other options/suggestions for how to handle?

I would have had more sympathy for you - but you need to plan better. You are now asking people who have windows and aisle seats to accommodate you because you didn't get your act together or aren't willing to pay more.

I'm not the OP, but how far in advance, exactly, would be required for your sympathy? Last Christmas, I booked flights from DC to Portland in October (so 3 months in advance) and we were still seated in 3 separate aisles (me, DH and 4 year old DD). The gate agent said, "Sorry, it's a full flight, I can't switch anyone. You'll have just ask on the plane if someone will switch with you."

Not sure what they or you expect people to do in such a situation or the OP's situation. Should the children sit alone, next to the strangers who paid more?

3 months out for Xmas isn't a lot. Moreover, you need to not just take the cheapest fare, but find the airline and the fare that works for you. Anyhow, 3 different AISLE seats are a whole other kettle of fish, as PP has said.

PP here. I misspoke. I meant seats in 3 different ROWS. At least one of them was a window seat, as we'd planned to use DD's carseat. I don't remember what the other 2 were except that they were not in that row.

People have a limited number of choices. Booking holiday travel 3 months out is completely reasonable, given that many people's schedules are not always predictable. Additionally, I chose the airline, flight and fare that worked best for our family based on timing, connections and price. I'm glad that you have the freedom to plan all your travel a year in advance and pay as much as you have to so that everyone can sit together, but down here in the real world where mortals do not always have the flexibility to plan way, way in advance and also do not have all the money ever minted, 3 months out + request to have minor child seated with at least one parent is not an unreasonable request. My issue is with the airline, not the other passengers, but when the airline foists the responsibility onto the passengers to work it out themselves, the ire of the passengers who have to either trade seats or not trade seats and sit next to someone else's kid should also be directed at the airline, for creating this situation.

Whose responsibility should it be though? The airline should force someone out of their seat?

Well, my daughter was 4 at the time. The airline's unaccompanied minor program does not begin until age 5. So yes, the airline should force someone out of their seat in order to comply with their own policy. You select the ages of children at booking, so this should actually not be a difficult ask. I could not find any policy specifically related to children between the ages of 2 (when they need a seat) and 5 (when they are permitted to travel alone) and I could not get any clarification on whether "alone" applies to children whose parents/guardians are on the plane but seated elsewhere.

Either way, it is the airline's responsibility to accommodate passengers' needs, including the needs of families traveling with small children to have at least one parent seated next to a child.

Unaccompanied minor means that there isn't a parent or guardian on the plane, not that Ashley doesn't get to sit next to Mumsy.