Regret the school you went to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret that I went to an SLAC without any core or distribution requirements. I was not mature enough to realize that if I didn't study subjects that were out of my comfort zone at that time, I would never have a chance to learn them later. I studied only what I liked and was good at. As a result, I had a very high GPA and was really overqualified for my grad program. But I am not as well rounded a person as I would now like to be.

You can audit college courses now. You can become well rounded now. It's not too late.

[Anonymous]

GW... Hated it.

[Anonymous]

Ivy league educated here, from a small town. Totally did not fit, though had a good enough time and graduated and all that. But I'm 99% sure my career trajectory has remained the same as if I had gone to the big rural state school in my home state (in fact my supervisor went there!).

In the end, college is only 4 years; the years in middle and high school really are vital (hence the idea of prep school), as well as having the social connections and mentors to help you navigate academic and career paths both in college and once you enter workforce or grad school.

Your DC will be fine no matter where she goes b/c you both are engaged and are probably much more clued into what opportunities and choices are available than your parents/community were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Swarthmore was a very bad fit for me. Neurotic overachiever humanities majors probably shouldn't spend 4 years with others like themselves. Beautiful campus, four years of stress.

Hmm ... What would have been better?

That's an interesting question. Either a less intense liberal arts college with a lower stress level in the atmosphere, or a larger university that had strong humanities but also had some more professional programs and courses like journalism, education, or museum studies. In addition to being very intentionally (masochistically) intense academically, Swarthmore was singly focused on preparing grads to become professors. I realized a couple of years in that academia in the humanities wasn't for me.

[Anonymous]

Omg, OP and others, I cannot tell you how much I sympathize. I'm from a sh!tty blue-collar town in the middle of nowhere, first in my family to even graduate high school, let alone go to college. My parents had no idea how to guide me and were too busy trying to make ends meet anyway to figure it out. This was mid-90s, before the Internet was ubiquitous, so I remember going to the public library and looking at 5 year old college manuals trying to figure it out on my own. My huge high school (only one in town, so it had everyone) had no interest in helping. Seriously, the extent of SAT/ ACT prep and college "guidance" was a single announcement over the PA telling anyone interested in taking the exams that they could pick up an information book in the guidance office. Literally, that was it.

I was too broke to really think about going too far from home (had never been on a plane, for example), so I only applied to things close. Wound up going to a tiny, tiny liberal arts college that was well-known in the state. I didn't realize until it was too late that no one outside of the state had heard of it or cared, for that matter. It was in a tiny town, with nothing to do (not even a bar, seriously), small-minded conservative bunch. Mostly very upper middle class, and people there talked about how kids at the nearby state schools could do half the work and get an A because our school was just so hard and the others just couldn't measure up (vomit, right?). No one could do anything without everyone hearing about it, so no one was even able to just do dumb sh!t and explore like college kids elsewhere can do. Had 20 or so majors, and I wasn't sure which way I wanted to go, so I fumbled around and just picked something (quick funny story: was back home freshman year and ran into HS guidance counselor. Told her I didn't know about a major yet and she said, "doesn't matter. All that will matter is that you have a degree, so just pick anything." She was serious and I didn't know that she was wrong.)

I know it's a fool's errand to wallow in regret and I honestly try not to (and most of the time succeed, but this thread has opened it all up again). My college choice is easily the biggest regret of my life. If I had even a little bit of guidance, I would've gone somewhere much bigger, in a city where there would be actual opportunities to intern and meet with other people. I remember a couple of kids went off to DC to do internships and of course, their parents paid their rent while they lived there. My parents could barely make their own rent, so that wasn't even a consideration for me. So: bigger city, bigger school, more open-minded people.

And like others, while I will never try to live vicariously through my kids, I take some comfort in knowing that I will be able to provide the guidance that they need and that I didn't get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, OP and others, I cannot tell you how much I sympathize. I'm from a sh!tty blue-collar town in the middle of nowhere, first in my family to even graduate high school, let alone go to college. My parents had no idea how to guide me and were too busy trying to make ends meet anyway to figure it out. This was mid-90s, before the Internet was ubiquitous, so I remember going to the public library and looking at 5 year old college manuals trying to figure it out on my own. My huge high school (only one in town, so it had everyone) had no interest in helping. Seriously, the extent of SAT/ ACT prep and college "guidance" was a single announcement over the PA telling anyone interested in taking the exams that they could pick up an information book in the guidance office. Literally, that was it.

I was too broke to really think about going too far from home (had never been on a plane, for example), so I only applied to things close. Wound up going to a tiny, tiny liberal arts college that was well-known in the state. I didn't realize until it was too late that no one outside of the state had heard of it or cared, for that matter. It was in a tiny town, with nothing to do (not even a bar, seriously), small-minded conservative bunch. Mostly very upper middle class, and people there talked about how kids at the nearby state schools could do half the work and get an A because our school was just so hard and the others just couldn't measure up (vomit, right?). No one could do anything without everyone hearing about it, so no one was even able to just do dumb sh!t and explore like college kids elsewhere can do. Had 20 or so majors, and I wasn't sure which way I wanted to go, so I fumbled around and just picked something (quick funny story: was back home freshman year and ran into HS guidance counselor. Told her I didn't know about a major yet and she said, "doesn't matter. All that will matter is that you have a degree, so just pick anything." She was serious and I didn't know that she was wrong.)

I know it's a fool's errand to wallow in regret and I honestly try not to (and most of the time succeed, but this thread has opened it all up again). My college choice is easily the biggest regret of my life. If I had even a little bit of guidance, I would've gone somewhere much bigger, in a city where there would be actual opportunities to intern and meet with other people. I remember a couple of kids went off to DC to do internships and of course, their parents paid their rent while they lived there. My parents could barely make their own rent, so that wasn't even a consideration for me. So: bigger city, bigger school, more open-minded people.

And like others, while I will never try to live vicariously through my kids, I take some comfort in knowing that I will be able to provide the guidance that they need and that I didn't get.

This is why some colleges are now giving particular consideration to first generation to go to college applicants. There are always good folks out there who just don't have the guidance. I just had a look at our local high school's SES diverse college applications/placements. It was eye opening. Most go to community college, the top 2% to the better state schools, & a large swath to the far less competitive state schools. Here's where it got interesting. Lots of applications (relatively speaking) to Ivy League schools with few acceptances, and almost none to selective liberal arts colleges. I can guess why, but you can all make your won analysis.

Glad you landed on your feet eventually PP, and you're kids will benefit from your experiences. GL

[Anonymous]

Argh. Sorry about typos above. won-> own
you're-> your

coffee please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, OP and others, I cannot tell you how much I sympathize. I'm from a sh!tty blue-collar town in the middle of nowhere, first in my family to even graduate high school, let alone go to college. My parents had no idea how to guide me and were too busy trying to make ends meet anyway to figure it out. This was mid-90s, before the Internet was ubiquitous, so I remember going to the public library and looking at 5 year old college manuals trying to figure it out on my own. My huge high school (only one in town, so it had everyone) had no interest in helping. Seriously, the extent of SAT/ ACT prep and college "guidance" was a single announcement over the PA telling anyone interested in taking the exams that they could pick up an information book in the guidance office. Literally, that was it.

I was too broke to really think about going too far from home (had never been on a plane, for example), so I only applied to things close. Wound up going to a tiny, tiny liberal arts college that was well-known in the state. I didn't realize until it was too late that no one outside of the state had heard of it or cared, for that matter. It was in a tiny town, with nothing to do (not even a bar, seriously), small-minded conservative bunch. Mostly very upper middle class, and people there talked about how kids at the nearby state schools could do half the work and get an A because our school was just so hard and the others just couldn't measure up (vomit, right?). No one could do anything without everyone hearing about it, so no one was even able to just do dumb sh!t and explore like college kids elsewhere can do. Had 20 or so majors, and I wasn't sure which way I wanted to go, so I fumbled around and just picked something (quick funny story: was back home freshman year and ran into HS guidance counselor. Told her I didn't know about a major yet and she said, "doesn't matter. All that will matter is that you have a degree, so just pick anything." She was serious and I didn't know that she was wrong.)

I know it's a fool's errand to wallow in regret and I honestly try not to (and most of the time succeed, but this thread has opened it all up again). My college choice is easily the biggest regret of my life. If I had even a little bit of guidance, I would've gone somewhere much bigger, in a city where there would be actual opportunities to intern and meet with other people. I remember a couple of kids went off to DC to do internships and of course, their parents paid their rent while they lived there. My parents could barely make their own rent, so that wasn't even a consideration for me. So: bigger city, bigger school, more open-minded people.

And like others, while I will never try to live vicariously through my kids, I take some comfort in knowing that I will be able to provide the guidance that they need and that I didn't get.

This is why some colleges are now giving particular consideration to first generation to go to college applicants. There are always good folks out there who just don't have the guidance. I just had a look at our local high school's SES diverse college applications/placements. It was eye opening. Most go to community college, the top 2% to the better state schools, & a large swath to the far less competitive state schools. Here's where it got interesting. Lots of applications (relatively speaking) to Ivy League schools with few acceptances, and almost none to selective liberal arts colleges. I can guess why, but you can all make your won analysis.

Glad you landed on your feet eventually PP, and you're kids will benefit from your experiences. GL

+1

[Anonymous]

OP absolutely not - I went to a large state university in the cornfields - maybe the one you went to? It was terrific - I took honors classes, had excellent professors - often Ivy educated. They were tremendous supporters of their students and taught the classes themselves. I managed to avoid large auditorium classes this way and have access to the best the university had to offer. DH went to the other smaller state university out in our cornfields state (although we managed to meet out here in DC). He feels the same way.

We've always advised our kids to go state for undergrad - do well enough to take honors classes - and save the big $ for the best grad school to which they can gain admittance. My grad school buddies mainly came from the Ivies and I could hardly believe their stories about the inintelligible TAs, minimal access to professors etc as it was so different than what I had imagined and what I experienced at the state university.

Sorry your experience wasn't very good, but college is always what the individual makes of it.

[Anonymous]

I realize this thread is old, but I'd just like to add that I went to an Ivy, and I regret, regret, regret that decision to this very day. I chose it over a "potted ivy" that was far more suited to me. It was a terrible decision, but I stayed there and graduated despite hating every single day there. I actually went away junior year and enjoyed that, but the rest of it I wish I could just forget about. This was many years ago before my school become "hot" and almost impossible to get into as it is today. I wish I had not fallen for the prestige of the Ivy school and gone to the school where I felt the best fit and most comfortable. I've never made such a stupid decision again, but I wish I could take it back. Now that DD is looking at colleges, I'm advising her to find the best fit, and damn everything else and what everyone else thinks!!!