Regret the school you went to?

[Anonymous]

I went to a terrible middle-of-nowhere state university in the cornfields and have regretted it enormously ever since. I was naive and young in high school and made bad decisions, and my parents did not know how to advise me, and neither did my terrible high school.

I've been saving up money since DD was born so that she can go anywhere she wants. DH (who went to an Ivy undergrad and Ivy med school) has had to pay off a lot of loans but I've seen the polish and sophistication and class that his education has given him.

Do other state-educated parents feel the same way as I do?

[Anonymous]

Not in the least. I went to a state university, graduated with no debt, and a great degree. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel exactly like you do, and I just posted the same in another thread. I had the grades, SAT scores, and activities to go to any college, but I was 17 and didn't know any better and listened to my parents. (My high school also failed me). My SAT scores alone were hundreds above the max range of the school I attended. It's by far my biggest regret in life and even going to a top law school can't undo my undergrad. I definitely don't want my DD to feel this way.

[Anonymous]

I went to a "posh" college and I don't think the people there were particularly classy. There were a lot of cliques and segregation and fratboys or lacrosse bros or whatever obnoxious white guys are called now. I have met many sophisticated people from state schools. You can cultivate class in yourself by reading a lot and being kind. People always find that classy.

Cookie if you can guess what "top" college I went to.

[Anonymous]

Princeton

[Anonymous]

No. I went to a local community college. It took me five years to get a two-year degree and my gpa was a 2.something. I never really have occasion to be sophisticated but know not to eat until everyone's been served and things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a terrible middle-of-nowhere state university in the cornfields and have regretted it enormously ever since. I was naive and young in high school and made bad decisions, and my parents did not know how to advise me, and neither did my terrible high school.

I've been saving up money since DD was born so that she can go anywhere she wants. DH (who went to an Ivy undergrad and Ivy med school) has had to pay off a lot of loans but I've seen the polish and sophistication and class that his education has given him.

Do other state-educated parents feel the same way as I do?

I went to the University of Florida. I loved every second of it. Graduated with a meaningful degree and I was able to walk out and get a job within a month of graduation in my field. Was in a sorority, was a fraternity little sister, went to all the football games and other events. There were endless things to do. I'm still friends with many people from my college days.

I graduated with a bit of debt (my parents had saved nothing) but paid if off easily -- I think it was 10 grand total for the 4 years. (This was back in early 80s.) It was a great deal economically, and it's still a great deal.

[Anonymous]

No way. I went to a medium-sized state university and loved every minute of it. No debt and no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Went OOS to a state university in a great town. There are probably other schools I would have liked too, but I have no regrets and good friends, even after 30 years. They are smart, funny and open-minded people. I had many small seminar type classes with great profs. There were gazillions of clubs, events, intramurals, opportunities... I eventually lived off campus, learned how to cook, how to rent an apartment (utilities, rent terms, etc.) and negotiate with a landlord, manage my money, manage my GPA and still have fun. Even took classes at the neighboring SLACs in the consortium. Nope. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

These are all amazing posts. It would appear, that if they're all truthful, that most folks did not get all caught up in the "Ivy Craze"....interestingly, these posts are probably driving most of the readers of this forum nuts...its directly contra to the approach they all take! Thanks so much for the posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a terrible middle-of-nowhere state university in the cornfields and have regretted it enormously ever since. I was naive and young in high school and made bad decisions, and my parents did not know how to advise me, and neither did my terrible high school.

I've been saving up money since DD was born so that she can go anywhere she wants. DH (who went to an Ivy undergrad and Ivy med school) has had to pay off a lot of loans but I've seen the polish and sophistication and class that his education has given him.

Do other state-educated parents feel the same way as I do?

No. FWIW I went to private schools growing up and by the time it came for college, I was done with that type of environment. I went to a big state U in an urban area and was so much happier.

[Anonymous]

No. I love my state school. It was a huge part of who I am today. I'd rather DC attend a state school and be normal than an Ivy and be pretentious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Went OOS to a state university in a great town. There are probably other schools I would have liked too, but I have no regrets and good friends, even after 30 years. They are smart, funny and open-minded people. I had many small seminar type classes with great profs. There were gazillions of clubs, events, intramurals, opportunities... I eventually lived off campus, learned how to cook, how to rent an apartment (utilities, rent terms, etc.) and negotiate with a landlord, manage my money, manage my GPA and still have fun. Even took classes at the neighboring SLACs in the consortium. Nope. No regrets.

UMASS Amherst?

[Anonymous]

I regret it, but not because it wasn't prestigious enough. The prestigious schools weren't options for me. I regret it because it was too small, too homogenous, and too conservative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I love my state school. It was a huge part of who I am today. I'd rather DC attend a state school and be normal than an Ivy and be pretentious.

My husband went to an Ivy and is in no way pretentious because he wasn't raised that way. Attending an Ivy doesn't automatically make you pretentious.