What families qualify for financial aid?

[Anonymous]

Hey, I just wanted to sign in and identify ourselves as a family that outwardly seems to be middle, upper middle class -- and I guess we are -- but has also incurred crushing medical expenses in the past two years. As in, they might just bankrupt us.

And almost no amount of rainy day fund would've alleviated this. You know that "six month" fund financial planners always insist that you keep? Ours was gone after two hospital stays. Then what? Then we sold all the stocks at a loss. A car. And so on.

So, yes, I wear diamond earrings that I bought 14 years ago, and we drive to FIL's vacation home 2x a year on a swanky island. We even, for the moment, live in a large home in DC.

What you don't know, is that we are running the numbers as to which is worse: selling the house to pay just PART of the medical bills, or declaring bankruptcy and all the shame and financial legacy that go with that.

Seriously, not every family with a few nice things bought 10, 15 years ago is currently rolling in it, and you don't have to have been a complete spendthrift idiot to end up in this spot. It can take just one good bout of cancer and an auto accident, and terrible insurance, to get you here.

We are applying for FA, but it would have to be full to stay in, which seems unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. While our HHI is almost at 200k, we have two kids with tuition at almost 65k. In order to pay that amount, you need to make about 100k before taxes. Of course this is just tuition as there are books and supplies and other hidden costs too. Would someone making $1 million a year pay a half a million to the school? Would someone making $50k pay $25 k to the school? No, there is a totally different calculation which considers what our reasonable contribution should be. It is plenty but without the aid we do get, we could not swing it. We do not have an expensive house, or car or summer home or nice clothes or anything. Every dime goes to paying our share of the tuition bill. Maybe the financial planners think this is insane, to foresake retirement/savings/etc for financing private school educations, but we feel it is worth it. Our kids are happy and thriving and we love the school where they go.

All of you who are rethinking your gift giving/auction buying are frankly the insane ones. True philanthropy doesn't need strings attached. Let the financial aid offices do their job and determine who truly needs the money. If you have enough to be able to give, then give generously and realize that every penny is helping kids be there with yours who would not be there otherwise, whether from a single parent home in another part of town, or from someone down your own street who may have lost their job or have other expenses you don't know about. Very few people go through the hassle of applying for aid who do not truly need it.

You sure use the word "insane" a lot. I'm one of the posters who said some of the posts here bothered me enough to rethink my contributions to our child's school. Why? Well, I think someone who has a household income of $250K is not middle class, first of all. And when that person is a stay-at-home-parent who doesn't want to go back to work but wants to apply for financial aid, with a household income of $250K, that is simply beyond the pale to me. I contribute in order to help those who truly couldn't afford this kind of education otherwise, not so families with a $250K income from a single wage earner can can financial aid. Sorry if that seems selfish or "insane." But, you know, private school is not an entitlement. Some DCUMs clearly think it is.

[Anonymous]

Bravo, PP! My contributions to my kids' school are intended to help truly needy families, not upper middle class people who want private school but who can't quite make it. Their kids will probably fare just fine regardless of their school environment. As an African American parent paying full freight (for two!), I would hope my contributions help more inner city kids escape from their very awful local schools, not help some family making 200K per year.

[Anonymous]

15:16 - you're not the kind of family we are talking about. I am one of the people who think as a general rule (to which of course there are exceptions) people much over 100K should not get aid. If I could, I'd give you the full ride myself. I don't think everyone at the upper income levels at these schools is in your situation, or at least that is not the attitude of some of these posts.

The other part, besides the income thing, that bothers me is the continued insistence that people who make 100K or less are poor, and God knows we don't want the school classes to consist of only those awful poor people and rich people because then our kids will be so unbalanced. I don't think 100K a year is poor, and I don't think the only balanced people are the ones who make between $100K and whatever upper limit (200? 300?) you want to put on it.

I live a dual existence. We send kids to private school, we live in a nice house in town, and have all the stuff that goes with that. We have another house way, way out in the country in a rural area, and it is there that we go and have lunch with our neighbors, who work construction jobs and send their kids to private school, too - the Christian ones. I have my feet in two worlds: Inside the beltway and out. I can tell you that from outside the beltway, the idea that $100K is poor and that people who make $200K a year, without extenuating circumstances, are entitled to assistance for needy families is laughable.

I am going to get jumped on for the two houses thing, I know, but try not to lose the point of what I am saying. Every penny we have my DH and I earn, there's no family money we live on, we're public school kids, I don't get aid, and I have, up until now, supported aid at my schools (my kids are in two different ones). But I am also one of the ones above who said I am rethinking it.

[Anonymous]

I have not posted previously in this thread, but I just want to inject a little perspective into this discussion. Here is a link to an article that details and slices HHI data: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States. If I am reading these tables correctly, 84% of the US has HHI of less than $100k. 94% of the US has HHI less than $150k. I know the DC/MD/VA region has a higher median, I suspect the people who read/post here skew even higher, and I am sure that the people with kids in private schools in the area skews much higher. Nevertheless, anyone with a HHI of over $150k is in the top 4% of income earners in the country and almost certainly in the top 10% of income earners in the region.

I'm not citing this info to argue for or against more financial aid. I looked it up because this discussion made me wonder how all the HHI numbers people are listing compare to the rest of the general population. Looking at these numbers emphasizes for me that no matter how hard it seems to make ends meet and pay for private school tuition (for all of us!), just about everyone who has posted here is pretty fortunate to even have the chance to consider such choices.

Sorry to interrupt. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

PP, I would love to know what the median HHI is for two-adult households inside the Beltway. I don't think such stats exist -- they're done by county. But wouldn't it be interesting to know this?

In other words, am less interested in HHI in Poolesville, because other factors would cut against Poolesville, or Centreville, parents wanting to send their kids to NCS.

[Anonymous]

17:41, I suspect the info you want is out there. It just might require a little digging. A quick Google search brought me to this page on HHI for the DC/MD/VA metro area: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_statistical_areas_of_the_United_States_by_income, which indicates a median HHI for the metro area of $57k. Similarly, this page lists the much-higher median income of Bethesda at $99k: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethesda,_Maryland. PG County (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Georges_County,_Maryland) has a median income of $55k. I'm sure if you spend some time looking at all the local counties, you could average the results to get a good idea. This info likely already exists somewhere with a little digging. My central point remains that any of us making over $100k per year should not forget that there a lots of people all around us who are not so lucky, even though that's easy to do when you're comparing yourself to people who can afford school tuition of $25k per year per child (which incidentally is more than 68% of the households in the US are making).

Sorry to be a downer. I'm not trying to preach sackcloth-and-ashes. I just think we all should keep this in perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. While our HHI is almost at 200k, we have two kids with tuition at almost 65k. In order to pay that amount, you need to make about 100k before taxes. Of course this is just tuition as there are books and supplies and other hidden costs too. Would someone making $1 million a year pay a half a million to the school? Would someone making $50k pay $25 k to the school? No, there is a totally different calculation which considers what our reasonable contribution should be. It is plenty but without the aid we do get, we could not swing it. We do not have an expensive house, or car or summer home or nice clothes or anything. Every dime goes to paying our share of the tuition bill. Maybe the financial planners think this is insane, to foresake retirement/savings/etc for financing private school educations, but we feel it is worth it. Our kids are happy and thriving and we love the school where they go.

All of you who are rethinking your gift giving/auction buying are frankly the insane ones. True philanthropy doesn't need strings attached. Let the financial aid offices do their job and determine who truly needs the money. If you have enough to be able to give, then give generously and realize that every penny is helping kids be there with yours who would not be there otherwise, whether from a single parent home in another part of town, or from someone down your own street who may have lost their job or have other expenses you don't know about. Very few people go through the hassle of applying for aid who do not truly need it.

You sure use the word "insane" a lot. I'm one of the posters who said some of the posts here bothered me enough to rethink my contributions to our child's school. Why? Well, I think someone who has a household income of $250K is not middle class, first of all. And when that person is a stay-at-home-parent who doesn't want to go back to work but wants to apply for financial aid, with a household income of $250K, that is simply beyond the pale to me. I contribute in order to help those who truly couldn't afford this kind of education otherwise, not so families with a $250K income from a single wage earner can can financial aid. Sorry if that seems selfish or "insane." But, you know, private school is not an entitlement. Some DCUMs clearly think it is.

I am not the PP who used the word "insane," but I am the PP with the household income of close to 250K. If you read my post carefully (which obviously you didn't), you will note that I specifically said that I have always planned to go back to work as soon as our youngest reaches kindergarten, and that I was in the non-profit world and would only earn about 40-50K if I were to go back to work. My earnings, after taxes and childcare would be literally non-existent. (Yes, we crunched the numbers.) Thus I cannot go back to work right now; I loved my job, but I am not going to pay for the privilege of working! Moreover, I specifically said that we had always assumed that we would not get financial aid, and that it was people posting here who had led me to think otherwise, so I was simply posting to theoretically wonder about that. If others in our circumstances are getting a modicum of aid, then I would see no reason not to apply, so I asked an innocent query, for which I have been jumped on. Nowhere did I state or imply that private school/financial aid is an "entitlement "--just the opposite, in fact. So please don't malign people when you didn't even read what they wrote!

[Anonymous]

I did read what you wrote, believe me. But please realize that there are alternatives to 40-50K nonprofit jobs. And realize that many of us are professors like me, or K-12 teachers who don't earn a great deal, but we still pay full freight to send our kids to private school. I'm sorry to single you out, and sorry if you felt maligned. But if you read back through the thread, you'll see some truly ridiculous things. You don't, in fact, seem to see private school as an entitlement. But it's clear that some other posters here do. At any rate, I stand by my view that financial aid generally shouldn't go to a household such as yours. I'm sorry if that troubles you. Please understand, though, that families like mine subsidize our school's financial aid through our contributions. Given that fact, surely you can understand why I would feel the way I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did read what you wrote, believe me. But please realize that there are alternatives to 40-50K nonprofit jobs. And realize that many of us are professors like me, or K-12 teachers who don't earn a great deal, but we still pay full freight to send our kids to private school. I'm sorry to single you out, and sorry if you felt maligned. But if you read back through the thread, you'll see some truly ridiculous things. You don't, in fact, seem to see private school as an entitlement. But it's clear that some other posters here do. At any rate, I stand by my view that financial aid generally shouldn't go to a household such as yours. I'm sorry if that troubles you. Please understand, though, that families like mine subsidize our school's financial aid through our contributions. Given that fact, surely you can understand why I would feel the way I do.

It is your money! Donate or not as you see fit; no argument from me. And your response was certainly reasonable in most respects, and your opinion doesn't trouble me in the least. I am amused by your statement in bold above, however. I assure you, there are no alternate jobs for which I am qualified that will pay me more than 40-50K/year. Why are you assuming that I must be able to earn more but am choosing to earn less instead? That is a baseless assumption, and one that is totally incorrect. I couldn't earn more if I wanted to. (I assure, you, I would love to earn more if I could! )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It is your money! Donate or not as you see fit; no argument from me. And your response was certainly reasonable in most respects, and your opinion doesn't trouble me in the least. I am amused by your statement in bold above, however. I assure you, there are no alternate jobs for which I am qualified that will pay me more than 40-50K/year. Why are you assuming that I must be able to earn more but am choosing to earn less instead? That is a baseless assumption, and one that is totally incorrect. I couldn't earn more if I wanted to. (I assure, you, I would love to earn more if I could! )

Probably because I'm projecting my situation onto yours. I'm a professor. I earn less than many public school teachers in the area. But I like my work and I made a choice to do this rather than to pursue other options with this degree that would earn more. I assumed you made the same kind of decision. My mistake, and I apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is your money! Donate or not as you see fit; no argument from me. And your response was certainly reasonable in most respects, and your opinion doesn't trouble me in the least. I am amused by your statement in bold above, however. I assure you, there are no alternate jobs for which I am qualified that will pay me more than 40-50K/year. Why are you assuming that I must be able to earn more but am choosing to earn less instead? That is a baseless assumption, and one that is totally incorrect. I couldn't earn more if I wanted to. (I assure, you, I would love to earn more if I could! )

Probably because I'm projecting my situation onto yours. I'm a professor. I earn less than many public school teachers in the area. But I like my work and I made a choice to do this rather than to pursue other options with this degree that would earn more. I assumed you made the same kind of decision. My mistake, and I apologize.

Poster where is your DC in school if you do not mind shairng?

[Anonymous]

$100k HHI is not poor, but you must admit that it is difficult to pay a $30K tuition at that income level. Without aid, that whole group of of middle class kids would be excluded from private school. I do not believe in that. Families making $20K should obviously get the most aid, but a family making $100K might qualify for some assistance. Few families making $200K will qualify unless there are special circumstances such as huge medical bills.

BTW, I'm assuming that both parents work. I do not believe that schools should subsidiize the choice to have one parent stay home.

Anonymous wrote:15:16 - you're not the kind of family we are talking about. I am one of the people who think as a general rule (to which of course there are exceptions) people much over 100K should not get aid. If I could, I'd give you the full ride myself. I don't think everyone at the upper income levels at these schools is in your situation, or at least that is not the attitude of some of these posts.

The other part, besides the income thing, that bothers me is the continued insistence that people who make 100K or less are poor, and God knows we don't want the school classes to consist of only those awful poor people and rich people because then our kids will be so unbalanced. I don't think 100K a year is poor, and I don't think the only balanced people are the ones who make between $100K and whatever upper limit (200? 300?) you want to put on it.

I live a dual existence. We send kids to private school, we live in a nice house in town, and have all the stuff that goes with that. We have another house way, way out in the country in a rural area, and it is there that we go and have lunch with our neighbors, who work construction jobs and send their kids to private school, too - the Christian ones. I have my feet in two worlds: Inside the beltway and out. I can tell you that from outside the beltway, the idea that $100K is poor and that people who make $200K a year, without extenuating circumstances, are entitled to assistance for needy families is laughable.

I am going to get jumped on for the two houses thing, I know, but try not to lose the point of what I am saying. Every penny we have my DH and I earn, there's no family money we live on, we're public school kids, I don't get aid, and I have, up until now, supported aid at my schools (my kids are in two different ones). But I am also one of the ones above who said I am rethinking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is your money! Donate or not as you see fit; no argument from me. And your response was certainly reasonable in most respects, and your opinion doesn't trouble me in the least. I am amused by your statement in bold above, however. I assure you, there are no alternate jobs for which I am qualified that will pay me more than 40-50K/year. Why are you assuming that I must be able to earn more but am choosing to earn less instead? That is a baseless assumption, and one that is totally incorrect. I couldn't earn more if I wanted to. (I assure, you, I would love to earn more if I could! )

Probably because I'm projecting my situation onto yours. I'm a professor. I earn less than many public school teachers in the area. But I like my work and I made a choice to do this rather than to pursue other options with this degree that would earn more. I assumed you made the same kind of decision. My mistake, and I apologize.

Poster where is your DC in school if you do not mind shairng?

Anonymous wrote:

Poster where is your DC in school if you do not mind shairng?

Sorry, but I don't want to out myself to that extent. It's an "oft-discussed" school on DCUM, but I'd rather not say which one. My income is minimal compared to my spouse's.

[Anonymous]

I think it is funny that some people think that it is always a choice when one parent stays at home. I wouldn't make enough money at a job to cover daycare/nanny costs for 2 children plus money for commuting, clothes for work, etc. Sometimes it always a family's choice to have one parent stay at home. Sometimes it is out of necessity.