Why obsess over getting into gifted program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted my child in the gifted program because he has a level of intellect that far exceeds the vast majority of his chronological peers. If he doesn't learn now how to apply that intellect, push himself to work hard and go beyond, and be comfortable with his differences, then he runs a real risk of an adult life of wasted opportunity, frustration, failure and depression.
AAP is not the goal, it is the means to hopefully a more positive end for my child.

If this is true, I don't think AAP will be satisfactory to you or your son.

He loves it.

He loves that he gets to do the same classwork as everyone else. He loves that there are kids as smart or smarter than him. That no one in his class makes a big deal about his differences, because the differences are fewer than in a regular classroom. He has kids around who like to talk about the same things he is into, and who understand his humor and obsessions. He no longer spends school wasting time, daydreaming or sneaking books, and he doesn't have to spend his time waiting for everyone to catch up.

He no longer feels self-conscious for being smart, not does he feel like he has to tone it down or hide his intellect to fit in.

Does he find AAP difficult or even challenging? No, not really. He does have to develop some organization and study skills though, which is a big positive.

Does he care how his classmates got there, who prepped, who has the pushy or annoying mom, who is the twice exceptional kid who other parents say shouldn't be in the class, or who is the genius that skated in? Big no. What he does care about is that in AAP he feels like he is just one of the kids, and not some novelty or freak.

That is why I am happy that he has this option available to him. I don't want special for him, I just want normal. AAP is the most normal option for my child, and for many others in the program.

And for what it is worth, because you seem obsessed with scores, he scores in the 99.8%+, and correctly predicted the number of questions he missed and the section they came from on his test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted my child in the gifted program because he has a level of intellect that far exceeds the vast majority of his chronological peers. If he doesn't learn now how to apply that intellect, push himself to work hard and go beyond, and be comfortable with his differences, then he runs a real risk of an adult life of wasted opportunity, frustration, failure and depression.

AAP is not the goal, it is the means to hopefully a more positive end for my child.

I agree 100%. But, as was stated above, AAP may not get you there. Be prepared to step in and supplement you kid's formal education with other effective enrichment activities.

Thanks.

We mostly try to supplement and work on the social EQ, because that is the true key to success. The academic part is just one piece of the puzzle/process.

[Anonymous]

To gain admission into any medical school, you would have needed to graduate at the top of your college class and done fairly well on your MCATs.
When picking a surgeon, you should care about where he was trained. To get into a decent residency, you need to have done well on your boards. You don't need to ask how well he did on his standardized tests because he had to have scored well to even be a surgeon.

DH is a surgeon and he studied and aced all his exams starting from SATs.

Your painful admission here tells the story. DH made the cut or the score all along during the process (long and arduous road) to become your proud DH and surgeon. He aced all his exams from K-12 through professional board exams. There are many would-be surgeons in other professions who failed to meet the cut or score during this process. Point made and please do not tell us DHnever prepared,trained, studied hard or stayed up all night because his success was in the bag at conception!

[Anonymous]

I am talking about second grade CogATs for AAP. If your kid has to prep for the CogAT to get in, they do not belong. Period.

Yeh right. Tell that to all the 8 and unders preparing and training to make the A team on the swim team, Pop Warner teams, Little league and other flag ship teams. The second grade is not different than the PhD defense. Ironically, the emotions can be identical for the individual or subject no matter the age, grade or level.

Michael Phelps and Kobe Bryant would laugh at you discouraging them from preparation and training for their task -- even at the second grade level! Those kids were honing their craft for 5 to 10 hours a week even at that tender age. I doubt you claim Phelps and Kobe don't belong because they prepped rather than watched videos.

[Anonymous]

I was a 'gifted kid' who attended a suburban public school with no special programs. There was a normal mix of students, nice people, but the whole ethos of the place was skewed toward an anti-intellectual climate. The teachers loved me, but for the most part my peers didn't get me. I did what I could to fit in--was a cheerleader as well as the yearbook & newspaper editor--but it was a strange road & I always felt I had to suppress who I really was. Thank God for college, and then graduate school & the Rest of Life. Eventually, people find their way--but there were a lot of difficult years. As a result, I sent my children to a private school--where, to my surprise, history repeated itself with a slight twist. While my kids were challenged & encouraged in their academic & extra-curricular lives--& they had choices & opportunities I would have killed for--my eldest, who really is an intellectual--never felt like her peers got her either. That changed once she got to college, which she choose for it's intensity & 'nerdiness'--. So what's my take-away here? Let's face it, America is not a place that values or rewards intellectuals. Giftedness when translated into entrepreneurial or athletic or financial pursuits is just fine--but 'bookishness' isn't . So for those kids & families who really do care about a life of the mind--just be aware that no matter where your child attends school, you are going to have to pay attention to keep those values alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Our highly rated elementary school is 40% AAP. Yes, 2 of the 5 classes per grade are all AAP. So much for "far exceeding the vast majority."

So sorry for those who couldn't even make top 40%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Our highly rated elementary school is 40% AAP. Yes, 2 of the 5 classes per grade are all AAP. So much for "far exceeding the vast majority."

So sorry for those who couldn't even make top 40%

To be fair, if this is an AAP Center school, then the kids in those two AAP classes are coming in from a number of other elementary schools in the surrounding area. And if it is Local Level IV, then the classes are being filled at the principal's discretion, so not all the kids in the class necessarily qualified for AAP. My child's AAP center comprised three of the six grade level classes, but the kids came in from six or seven other elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

The OP wanted to know why people obsess over getting their kids into the gifted program. Here's the Merriam-Webster definition of obsess:

transitive verb
: to haunt or excessively preoccupy the mind of <was obsessed with the idea>

Usually, there is an element of an unhealthy focus when the word obsess is used. Some people do have an unhealthy focus on getting their kids into the AAP program whether it is a good place for the child or not.

Ensuring that your child gets the appropriate education for his needs is not the same as obsessing over a particular program.

[Anonymous]

Everyone feel better now?

[Anonymous]

Kobe Bryant (basketball) and Michael Phelps (swimming) all obsessed (by whatever definition you choose) over their craft by the age of 8 (and earlier) and all of America worships these idols with their purse.

A little prepping for AAP (or any other mental activity or alphabet soup acronym you prefer) won't kill anyone but will not bring the same worship and idolation from the hypocritical, rugged and independent American public -- Republican, Democratic or Independent.

I say exercise your rugged independence and prep and train for whatever rocks your boat. This was the intent of America's founding fathers and the framers of the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

[Anonymous]

Amen, how inhabitants of one of the original 13 colonies (Virginia) forget their own history.

Too much play, vacation, TV and video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted my child in the gifted program because he has a level of intellect that far exceeds the vast majority of his chronological peers. If he doesn't learn now how to apply that intellect, push himself to work hard and go beyond, and be comfortable with his differences, then he runs a real risk of an adult life of wasted opportunity, frustration, failure and depression.

AAP is not the goal, it is the means to hopefully a more positive end for my child.

I agree that gifted kids need to learn how to work hard. That's why my kids take sports and arts classes, though. Even gifted classes aren't very challenging for him.

[Anonymous]

Usually, there is an element of an unhealthy focus when the word obsess is used. Some people do have an unhealthy focus on getting their kids into the AAP program whether it is a good place for the child or not.

Ensuring that your child gets the appropriate education for his needs is not the same as obsessing over a particular program.

It's fair to say Kobe Bryant and Michael Phelps (+ parent [s]) had an unhealthy focus of getting into the NBA and the Olympics (even at the age of 8). Americans still worships these guys. I guess their ascension to the pedestal makes their precocious focus healthy and rewarding?

[Anonymous]

I agree that gifted kids need to learn how to work hard. That's why my kids take sports and arts classes, though. Even gifted classes aren't very challenging for him.

Bingo! Gifted athletes and students need to learn to work hard. This work includes preparing, prepping and training over for the long haul. For many like Kobe, Phelps, Federer, Bird ("gym rats") this preparation began before the age of 8. We have "library nerd" equivalents. Are these individuals any less deserving than the athletes (even if they get into AAP, magnet programs, TJ or make the A swim team -- no matter how low or high the bar may be)? Who will dare tell Phelps, Jordan or Kobe they are less deserving of the honors and platitudes (ribbons and pay check)bestowed because of the hours spent in the pool, gym or library? Kobe and Phelps spent their entire youth in the pool and on the basketball courts and not going to museums and play dates. I hear no one on these boards crying and whining over the unfair advantage of these "cheaters"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Usually, there is an element of an unhealthy focus when the word obsess is used. Some people do have an unhealthy focus on getting their kids into the AAP program whether it is a good place for the child or not.

Ensuring that your child gets the appropriate education for his needs is not the same as obsessing over a particular program.

It's fair to say Kobe Bryant and Michael Phelps (+ parent [s]) had an unhealthy focus of getting into the NBA and the Olympics (even at the age of 8). Americans still worships these guys. I guess their ascension to the pedestal makes their precocious focus healthy and rewarding?

Actually, I highly doubt that their drive and persistence would be considered unhealthy by most. Their success shows that they had the talent for their hard work to achieve that ultimate success. Michael Phelps was identified by his coaches at an early age as extraordinarily talented. Not everyone has that level of talent. It would be unhealthy for the parent of a athlete of average talent to try to get their child into an elite training program, because even if they got him into the program, he would not be able to keep up. Happens all the time, of course, just as it happens with the AAP program, but doesn't make it right.

There are plenty of ways for athletes to learn and grow on the local teams, just as there are plenty of ways to learn and grow in the regular educational system. It's all about meeting the needs of the individual child.

The unhealthy part is only present when the parent is trying to put the child into a situation that is inappropriate for that child.

Anonymous wrote:Americans still worships these guys.

I think people around the world, not only Americans, were impressed by all the Olympic athletes. People around the world love to watch their high level athletes, not an idea that is limited to the U.S.