HELP - Moving to DC and KNOW N O T H I N G

[Anonymous]

OP, chill out. And welcome to dcurbanmom.

(How did you find us?)

People have been a little snarky here and there, but really, by dcum standards they've been really, really nice.

We're going through a heat wave today and maybe people were a little bored and tok to some speculating about what the "unable to divulge" job could be -- sorry about that -- but no one intended any harm.

This is an anoymous forum, and even fro post to post, it's anonymous and no way to track who posts what on which thread -- so that does lead to more snarkiness than on your usual forums BUT it also allows people to be blunt and honet, which is teh feedback you have gotten.

If you can have a thick enough skin to ignore the worst, dcum can be a great place. I hope you move here, and I hope you find a great place to live.

[Anonymous]

csabdalla wrote:By the way, Fed field offices here in Detroit are generally NOT known to the public nor are their addresses published. Period. You guys just have it different in DC and it's the nature of the place and the large population there that does federal and contract work. You say something like that here in Detroit you might as well dress up in a bright pink tutu with bells on because that's how much you would stick out, it would arouse nothing but attention and suspicion from every civilian around you. It's a different place, thinking and culture. HERE, people would think THREE times before having you over for dinner.

Govt worker from Michigan here, and yes, it's a different culture in DC from Detroit. But it's different more from a perspective of having a faster pace of life, more work-centered culture, and as already discussed ad naseum in this thread, a much higher cost of living. I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan... ). I mean, yes, it's different, but Detroit is not Mars.

[Anonymous]

In DC, working for the Fed is a standard job that many, many people have.

You will certainly not be unique.

I also have to say that $3200 for rent plus child care cost and you will be out of money quick. We make $150K, have one child, pay $2500 for a small condo close in, have after school and summer camp costs and we are doing ok - we can pay our bills but there is next to nothing for extras.

[csabdalla]

Anonymous wrote:

csabdalla wrote: I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan... ). I mean, yes, it's different, but Detroit is not Mars.

tHI!! Well, I mean that agents don't say "I'm an FBI/CIA/NSA Agent/Analyst/etc" in Detroit. Detroit is cosmopolitan to an extent but it's not a government culture where this would be a normal thing to drop on the neighbors and at dinner parties with people not from the IC. This just isn't the place to roll like that openly particularly in certain ethnic or cultural communities.

[csabdalla]

Anonymous wrote:OP, chill out. And welcome to dcurbanmom.

(How did you find us?)

People have been a little snarky here and there, but really, by dcum standards they've been really, really nice.

We're going through a heat wave today and maybe people were a little bored and tok to some speculating about what the "unable to divulge" job could be -- sorry about that -- but no one intended any harm.

This is an anoymous forum, and even fro post to post, it's anonymous and no way to track who posts what on which thread -- so that does lead to more snarkiness than on your usual forums BUT it also allows people to be blunt and honet, which is teh feedback you have gotten.

If you can have a thick enough skin to ignore the worst, dcum can be a great place. I hope you move here, and I hope you find a great place to live.

Sorry, it's 99/humid here we have a brown out since yesterday morning, kids are whiny and the heat is making me crazy. So yes, I am a little thin skinned today. Will duly chill.

[Anonymous]

csabdalla wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

csabdalla wrote: I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan... ). I mean, yes, it's different, but Detroit is not Mars.

tHI!! Well, I mean that agents don't say "I'm an FBI/CIA/NSA Agent/Analyst/etc" in Detroit. Detroit is cosmopolitan to an extent but it's not a government culture where this would be a normal thing to drop on the neighbors and at dinner parties with people not from the IC. This just isn't the place to roll like that openly particularly in certain ethnic or cultural communities.

OK, I get what you're saying.

[csabdalla]

Anonymous wrote:

csabdalla wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

csabdalla wrote: I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan... ). I mean, yes, it's different, but Detroit is not Mars.

tHI!! Well, I mean that agents don't say "I'm an FBI/CIA/NSA Agent/Analyst/etc" in Detroit. Detroit is cosmopolitan to an extent but it's not a government culture where this would be a normal thing to drop on the neighbors and at dinner parties with people not from the IC. This just isn't the place to roll like that openly particularly in certain ethnic or cultural communities.

OK, I get what you're saying.

Girl, please...if you dropped that on an average metro Detroiter and it got passed around SOMEBODY would be looking to hurt you or your kids/family or break into your home because they would think you may have some highly classified material they could sell or leverage. Like I said, this ain't DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK people are you all insane?? Recommending DC proper and close in burbs? This OP has a HHI of 125k and needs daycare for the youngest and most likely after care and summer care for the oldest. How in the fuck is she going to afford these places? The OP will be wayyy out in timbucktoo. This is what average earners do when they want good schools.

Get your heads out of the sand. Stop talking from a place of 300k incomes and up, or because you bought a home here ten years ago. The poster is coming from fucking Detroit.[url][i]

OP forget being in close DC, unless you are OK in a one bedroom apt. I'd love these people to find a decent 2200 rental in these nice areas.

[Anonymous]

OP - I'm a midwestern girl. I've been posting non-snarky advice for you, and please take my next bits of advice with a smile. I'm not trying demean you, just inform you.

As you've now figured out, everyone talks about their job in DC. For the most part. Its usually the second thing you divulge after your name. Many people can't talk much about their work, but give an overview. So I can say I work cybersecurity for DoD, and most people know not to ask anything more. The ONLY people that actually ask me to divulge secret info is my family back home in the Midwest that is convinced that somehow I know the truth about 9/11 or who we are going to war with next or whatever looney topic of the day is on CNN or Fox news.

Second, please make sure you know where the office is that you/hubby will be working from day to day. There are a ton of satelite locations all over the area, so although HQ may be in downtown DC, the actual office is in Alexandria/Rockville/Chantilly/whatever.

Third, you've come to possibly the meanest forum around to ask advice. You need tough skin not to take things personal on this site. Personally, I come here for comic relief from a really boring job.

Lastly, feds make a lot more here than Detroit. Check out the OPM website for local pay.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am just looking through old threads for preschool guidance and came across THIS thread. I cannot believe people would be so rude! Get OVER yourselves! You give the D.C. area a bad name, for those of us that actually grew up there. Where are you from, Csabdalla? You clearly have something to prove. Cut it out and be more welcoming to people just trying to get a feel for a new city.