Child stole over $3k

[Anonymous]

You just read a big fat troll post

[Anonymous]

Keep a closer eye on your kid. It takes time to spend $3000.

Also, you should take a look at your finances if this means you can't afford formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just read a big fat troll post

I understand why people think this is a troll, but a friend of mine’s daughter did the same thing several years ago. She’s now 19, barely graduated high school is a bum with no job. Total parenting failure. Nip this in the bud now!

[Anonymous]

OP was a troll, that's why she never came back.

[Anonymous]

I totally think OP is a troll also, but my soon-to-be-9yo bought about $75 of stuff in in-app purchases (not Fortnite but one of those HomeScapes games). I did not find out that it happened for about 2 weeks, during which time she was spending $5 here and $7 there.

When I discovered it, she tearfully told me that she'd seen the password when I entered it to buy her a different app several weeks ago. She said she knew it was wrong to use it but that she couldn't help it. She was very remorseful and afraid of being in trouble. I got the sense that she was freaked out by how easy it was to do and how long it took me to find out about it.

I did not actually come with the thunder and take everything away forever. I don't think she's a sociopath. I think that everything about these devices and apps makes it hard for people to exercise impulse control and I'm certainly not going to fault my 3rd grader for not having impulse control grown adults also lack.

We turned on more purchase authentication and changed the password. She already had pretty strict screen time limits, but they all assumed that she could not bypass the security because she was 8. That was certainly my mistake, and one we have corrected against happening again in a couple ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of 9 year olds do online gaming. Those of you saying he never should have been on it are being clueless.
I agree he should lose access to gaming as a consequence though at least through the summer.

Sigh. You’re not very bright, are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You need to immediately contact Epic Games, explain that the purchases were unauthorized, and request a refund.

Obviously, your child needs a serious consequence, including shutting down the Fortnite account. But your kid does not understand what $3,000 is or how it would impact family safety/security.

Agree with this. He probably doesn't completely understand the gravity of what he did. But he should absolutely not have access to a computer unmonitored anymore and he definitely shouldn't still have gaming accounts. You and your husband also need to lock down your passwords better.

What? You're not raising your kids right if they get to 9 years old and don't realize that stealing is not OK. If this happened over a period of time, they kid might not have counted how much money left the account, but the mere concept of paying money for something online only with parent authorization should have been ingrained a long time ago.

From OP's description, it really sounds as if her oldest is missing a huge chunk of ethics they should already master. This concerns me. The kid seems almost sociopathic, in that he doesn't care who he hurts or what the consequences are. Maybe a psychological evaluation is in order.

This isn’t really stealing. He entered a password. Not sure a 9 year old is making the connection that it’s actual money and not Monopoly money

Yeah I'm not sure a 9yo would really make that connection either.

For those saying no internet at all, no online gaming, etc., I'm curious if a) your kids attend public schools (PSA- they can access way more on their school-issued chromebooks than you think!) and b) if you have boys in that age group. I was truly unprepared for boy gaming culture. I hate it, but pretending it doesn't exist and just forbidding games altogether won't make it go away.

Of course it “exists” and who cares if it doesn’t “go away?” OP can get her kid into sports or Scouts or any other of the multiple ways to make peer friends than freaking Fortnite.

Her kid has shown her he cannot handle it responsibly ($3K at age 9 is insane). So no more games. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no access to online gaming with a pay component.

I have a 12 year old and a 9 year old and I have never allowed this. both boys no roblox, no fortnite, not even prodigy. They play whatever Minecraft they can in 30 minutes a day with no buying. They have really normal lives, great grades, they read a lot, friends (mostly friends with similarly strict parents).

You are literally handing your kids an addiction and then asking them to manage it themselves. they CAN'T DO IT. they are too young. This is completely equivalent behavior to a drug addict spending every last dollar to get a fix.

stupid analogy

No, correct analogy. Addiction is exactly what it is.

DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Remove ALL access to the internet. Cold turkey. Phones, tablets, computers, gaming systems. He can play with legos and magnatiles until he earns the family trust back.

I wish this ^^ could be the case, and I almost can’t believe 9 year olds are in these platforms. But what about at school? Have you seen the types of things kids this age can access via their school-issued laptops during school hours? Or will the school work with you to put more restrictions on his internet access? If it’s DCPS, good luck.

Ok, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort at home.

Sure but it just makes it harder. My kids never had even used a tablet before they went to kindergarten and then they were immediately asking to play the games they played in school at home. Screen additction is real.

Yes, mine too. I worked so hard to keep my kid off screens and then as soon as they went to kindergarten the school was like "HERE IS A CHROMEBOOK WITH A BUNCH OF GAMES ON IT." My child was also constantly asking to play the games they play at school at home, so you know what I did? Said no. And kept saying now. It's been 4 years and I"m still standing firm....

A competent parent on DCUM. Imagine that!