Child stole over $3k

[Anonymous]

Look into a device like Circle or software monitoring like Bark. You need to be able to control the sites your child is visiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into a device like Circle or software monitoring like Bark. You need to be able to control the sites your child is visiting.

No, you don’t allow this child any access.

[Anonymous]

I hope this is fake but this is on you. How did they get online and with a credit card with that game. No little one should be playing that.

[Anonymous]

I stopped reading when you said you let your 9 year old play Fortnite.

[Anonymous]

Give him chores and make him work of that $3k.

[Anonymous]

How did you let your old have such unfettered access to online games that you don’t realize this? Be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remove ALL access to the internet. Cold turkey. Phones, tablets, computers, gaming systems. He can play with legos and magnatiles until he earns the family trust back.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading when you said you let your 9 year old play Fortnite.

I stopped at "husband and I's"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to immediately contact Epic Games, explain that the purchases were unauthorized, and request a refund.

Obviously, your child needs a serious consequence, including shutting down the Fortnite account. But your kid does not understand what $3,000 is or how it would impact family safety/security.

Agree with this. He probably doesn't completely understand the gravity of what he did. But he should absolutely not have access to a computer unmonitored anymore and he definitely shouldn't still have gaming accounts. You and your husband also need to lock down your passwords better.

What? You're not raising your kids right if they get to 9 years old and don't realize that stealing is not OK. If this happened over a period of time, they kid might not have counted how much money left the account, but the mere concept of paying money for something online only with parent authorization should have been ingrained a long time ago.

From OP's description, it really sounds as if her oldest is missing a huge chunk of ethics they should already master. This concerns me. The kid seems almost sociopathic, in that he doesn't care who he hurts or what the consequences are. Maybe a psychological evaluation is in order.

This isn’t really stealing. He entered a password. Not sure a 9 year old is making the connection that it’s actual money and not Monopoly money

[Anonymous]

1. Do you have a way to get formula? Can you call a local food bank? A friend? Your place of worship? Feeding the baby is the most important issue.

2. You son no longer has access to devices. Period. I'd honeslty consider selling his device to get money for formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old stole over $3k on online gaming purchases. He stole my husband and I’s password in order to make purchases and I’m just exhausted/defeated. He didn’t stop because it was wrong, he stopped because there was no money left/was getting declined. I have a newborn baby less than 6 weeks old that relies on formula and we can’t even get that because this kid who’s not that little (fully understood what he was doing), decided three thousand dollars worth of fortnite skins was more important. This is not the first time either! We changed our password and he stole it and money again. What do you do in this situation?

Why does your 9 year old have access to online gaming at all, is the first and most important question. You are exhausted and defeated and made at your 9 year old, but the person you should be mad at is yourself and your husband. If you hadn't engaged in lazy parenting, you wouldn't be in this situation. I also have a 9 year old, and he has no mechanism to "steal" from me to buy things in fortnite, because he doesn't have access to freaking fortnite (which is deeply age inappropriate.) and the fact that he's already done this? no more devices and online games at home, period, end of story.

Ding ding ding ding ding!

My 9yo does not have any devices except for her school laptop, which is stored in the dining room. She has to ask to use it, and she may only use it in public areas of the house. Her time on it is limited. She has no access to our accounts or passwords, and obviously we would never give her access to that. She plays Minecraft (the learning version allowed on school laptop) and learning games. She watches TV. She doesn’t have Roblox or any social games.

What the actual F are you doing, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 9 year old stole over $3k on online gaming purchases. He stole my husband and I’s password in order to make purchases and I’m just exhausted/defeated. He didn’t stop because it was wrong, he stopped because there was no money left/was getting declined. I have a newborn baby less than 6 weeks old that relies on formula and we can’t even get that because this kid who’s not that little (fully understood what he was doing), decided three thousand dollars worth of fortnite skins was more important. This is not the first time either! We changed our password and he stole it and money again. What do you do in this situation?

my husband's and my...

[Anonymous]

OP he's shown you he can't control himself. Listen to him. Take away all gaming and Internet access. Lock away your credit cards and lock down family computers and TVs with passwords and WiFi control. It's not a punishment, it's removal of a privilege that he didn't need, and wasn't mature enough to handle. Also based on your post, you'd be crazy to give this kid a smart phone before age 13 or 14. Invest time and money in offline games and in person experiences.

Punishment should relate to the crime (stealing). He can pay you back in weekly chores. If he doesn't finish the chore by the deadline, take away a privilege that week. (He won't have screens, so you'll have to pick a different privilege.) If you get the $3K back from the credit card company, don't cancel the punishment. It's none of his business whether you get the money back or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped reading when you said you let your 9 year old play Fortnite.

I stopped at "husband and I's"

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into a device like Circle or software monitoring like Bark. You need to be able to control the sites your child is visiting.

This is a PP. I agree with this, but not until OP's DS has access to Internet connected devices. Which should't happen for several years.