Would you leave your 17 year old home alone for 2 days over the weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: She did just turn 17 and is a junior not senior. I have a 25 year old DS who lives very close who can check up on her and is close by in case of an emergency, or if I still don’t
comfortable with her being alone, she can stay with DS or he can come over to stay with her.

I am in the exact same boat. Both DH and I need to be gone for 5 nights. 20 yr old DS is also 30 min away (an hour with traffic), so she can stay with him on the weekend, but she has to be in school the other two days so she has to be home. DD said she would be fine, but I don't feel comfortable with it as she has anxiety and panic attacks. Yes, she's on meds. She just turned 17. I might call her aunt to stay with her for 2 nights, so DD would only be alone at night for 1 night.

I mean this nicely, but don't you think you're sending her the wrong message if she says she can handle it and you send the aunt over?

She is currently going through a really rough patch right now. She lost her entire friend group; has been having panic attacks; crying. She is also an anxious person, and yes, I do worry about her going off to college, but as PPs have stated, she will not be alone in the dorm building by herself. There are other people in the building. If she was alone in the building, she'd freak out. We have a largish sfh.

She texted me today that she was in the counselor's office, having a meltdown.

No, I don't think she should be alone at night right now. We'll see how she feels next week.

She needs mental health treatment. Why would you even consider leaving her home alone? Why can't your husband go without you? What's so important that you have to go over your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, it is 2025, not 1985. Kids don't show up en masse, uninvited, to parentless houses and throw massive ragers. Some of you watched too much John Hughes.

a 17 year old is absolutely fine home alone. assuming she is a new senior...yes.

Let her practicwe indepenence!

This made me laugh. But it’s also wrong. The issue is kids think they are having a very small party and word gets out. And yes, even in 2025 this happens, you sweet naive poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: She did just turn 17 and is a junior not senior. I have a 25 year old DS who lives very close who can check up on her and is close by in case of an emergency, or if I still don’t
comfortable with her being alone, she can stay with DS or he can come over to stay with her.

I am in the exact same boat. Both DH and I need to be gone for 5 nights. 20 yr old DS is also 30 min away (an hour with traffic), so she can stay with him on the weekend, but she has to be in school the other two days so she has to be home. DD said she would be fine, but I don't feel comfortable with it as she has anxiety and panic attacks. Yes, she's on meds. She just turned 17. I might call her aunt to stay with her for 2 nights, so DD would only be alone at night for 1 night.

I mean this nicely, but don't you think you're sending her the wrong message if she says she can handle it and you send the aunt over?

She is currently going through a really rough patch right now. She lost her entire friend group; has been having panic attacks; crying. She is also an anxious person, and yes, I do worry about her going off to college, but as PPs have stated, she will not be alone in the dorm building by herself. There are other people in the building. If she was alone in the building, she'd freak out. We have a largish sfh.

She texted me today that she was in the counselor's office, having a meltdown.

No, I don't think she should be alone at night right now. We'll see how she feels next week.

You probably should have given that information in the op. In this case I wouldn't leave her home alone and either myself or her father would stay with her. And if that wasn't possible another trusted relative. And being very blunt if she's still in the same place next year staying in a dorm isn't appropriate for her.

Has she started therapy yet? Or have you talked with her pediatrician about the panic attacks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has a work trip that he’d like me to attend a few hours away from where we live . DD17 doesn’t want to come along. I’m not sure if we should let her stay alone. She’s not a partier so I’m not worried about that. But, we’ve never left her alone overnight before. She’s willing to stay alone and is responsible. I guess I’m just overly anxious. So considering all this, should we?

Do you want to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys, it is 2025, not 1985. Kids don't show up en masse, uninvited, to parentless houses and throw massive ragers. Some of you watched too much John Hughes.

a 17 year old is absolutely fine home alone. assuming she is a new senior...yes.

Let her practicwe indepenence!

This made me laugh. But it’s also wrong. The issue is kids think they are having a very small party and word gets out. And yes, even in 2025 this happens, you sweet naive poster.

I mean, i dk t think I'm naive. I'm probably the nightmare parent according to many of you but my kid had like at least a dozen get togethers when left alone in Junior and Senior year and no one crashed the house.

Same with many of his friends. Maybe in some parts of the country but I have just not had that experience here. My kid and his friends go to Marshall and Madison in Fairfax County so there is maybe a locational issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: She did just turn 17 and is a junior not senior. I have a 25 year old DS who lives very close who can check up on her and is close by in case of an emergency, or if I still don’t
comfortable with her being alone, she can stay with DS or he can come over to stay with her.

I am in the exact same boat. Both DH and I need to be gone for 5 nights. 20 yr old DS is also 30 min away (an hour with traffic), so she can stay with him on the weekend, but she has to be in school the other two days so she has to be home. DD said she would be fine, but I don't feel comfortable with it as she has anxiety and panic attacks. Yes, she's on meds. She just turned 17. I might call her aunt to stay with her for 2 nights, so DD would only be alone at night for 1 night.

I mean this nicely, but don't you think you're sending her the wrong message if she says she can handle it and you send the aunt over?

She is currently going through a really rough patch right now. She lost her entire friend group; has been having panic attacks; crying. She is also an anxious person, and yes, I do worry about her going off to college, but as PPs have stated, she will not be alone in the dorm building by herself. There are other people in the building. If she was alone in the building, she'd freak out. We have a largish sfh.

She texted me today that she was in the counselor's office, having a meltdown.

No, I don't think she should be alone at night right now. We'll see how she feels next week.

You probably should have given that information in the op. In this case I wouldn't leave her home alone and either myself or her father would stay with her. And if that wasn't possible another trusted relative. And being very blunt if she's still in the same place next year staying in a dorm isn't appropriate for her.

Has she started therapy yet? Or have you talked with her pediatrician about the panic attacks?

This is a different poster, not the OP. She just had a similar situation she mentioned, but her dd has anxiety issues so its a different set of concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 12, so we are not there yet but I wouldn't. Anything could go wrong (break in, carjacking, a stalker who observes that a young girl is alone in the house at night, a fire, etc). I'd take her or have your older son come stay with her.

Would you leave an 18 yo alone? 22? 35?
Those events can happen to anyone, hopefully they have tools and plans but sometimes misfortune happens, a fire can even happen with parents in the house. A 26 y o alone could fall down the stairs!

Agree. If our house is broken into in the middle of the night by a crazed killer I doubt anything would be different if I was here vs. just my daughter. Ditto the same for a rapid fire. And I have no idea what carjacking has to do with leaving a kid home alone.

Signed, a mom who has left her 15 year old home alone overnight on more than one occasion.

I mean I think when we are home there is a pretty decent chance my DH would shoot an intruder, or, if he wasn't here, that I would fight them to protect my kids. If there were a fire, we are more likely to wake up than the teens are. I personally don't like my teen daughters coming home to an empty driveway/house and walking in alone. I am much less worried about parties than safety....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 12, so we are not there yet but I wouldn't. Anything could go wrong (break in, carjacking, a stalker who observes that a young girl is alone in the house at night, a fire, etc). I'd take her or have your older son come stay with her.

Would you leave an 18 yo alone? 22? 35?
Those events can happen to anyone, hopefully they have tools and plans but sometimes misfortune happens, a fire can even happen with parents in the house. A 26 y o alone could fall down the stairs!

Agree. If our house is broken into in the middle of the night by a crazed killer I doubt anything would be different if I was here vs. just my daughter. Ditto the same for a rapid fire. And I have no idea what carjacking has to do with leaving a kid home alone.

Signed, a mom who has left her 15 year old home alone overnight on more than one occasion.

I mean I think when we are home there is a pretty decent chance my DH would shoot an intruder, or, if he wasn't here, that I would fight them to protect my kids. If there were a fire, we are more likely to wake up than the teens are. I personally don't like my teen daughters coming home to an empty driveway/house and walking in alone. I am much less worried about parties than safety....

Because you are really bad at risk assessment and statistics.