Husbands Tantrums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Terrible behavior. But my question is Op doing something for him to act like this and is there another side of story we are missing?

My husband also throws tantrums. There is nothing a normal person can do that would excuse a response like this- it’s not a normal or acceptable way to process anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is another take that will be unpopular-

I went through a similar tantrum phase, when my wife was cheating. A horrible time in my life, disconnected, disrespected and obligated to keep paying for the family. I am ashamed of how I reacted, but I quit caring about anything and the rage tantrums stopped. My anger was actually a poorly designed expression of dissatisfaction, disappointment and love.

Maybe your husband is just really lonely, unhappy and cares, but doesn’t know how to show it. Maybe your relationship is a source of disappointment and you discount everything he says when he tries to express himself.

OP here and I appreciate the honest answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any advice, just wanted to say I'm also married to someone like this and I have been wanting to leave for years. I was finally ready after 4 years of marriage, then I found out I was finally pregnant after years of trying. That was 8 years ago. But I might be ready now. I don't know. It really is hard to get away.

PREACH!!!!!

It’s SO hard to get away, especially because I do love him, I just love the nice version of him, and I feel like he is going through life circumstances that are making that person around less (I am not making excuses), so it’s really really hard.

Well, actually you ARE making excuses. If these life circumstances weren’t happening, he’d be this great guy. That’s what you’re saying.

You’re excusing him from taking responsibility for his behavior. He’s not being held accountable for taking Lexapro or regulating himself. In your view, he just needs these “life circumstances” to pass and then he can get back to his other self.

Unfortunate life doesn’t always work that way.