How can a kid be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

[Anonymous]

It’s weird how none of you have considered that by the time a kid like this grows up, of course he’s good at everything he does. He already dropped all the sh!t he wasn’t good at…

Even Hermione Granger dropped a class she had no talent for.

[Anonymous]

I would have loved this support as a child. I’m naturally good at most things I try. With a nudge and deep pockets more potential would have opened. Working on it retroactively and learning how to foster a balance on my own bright kid. ❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Play guitar 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Play piano 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Practice tennis one hour every day. Definitely doable
- Practice golf one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Swimming one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Play an 18-hole round of golf (3 1/2 hours) and 2 hours of tennis on Saturday. Definitely doable,
- Practice two hours of guitar and piano on Sunday. Definitely doable,

High school ends at 3pm, and it takes 20 minutes to get to Westwood CC in Vienna. Take three hours to practice golf, tennis, swimming. Get home at 6:30pm, and have dinner at 7pm. Practice piano and guitar from 7:30pm until 9pm. Homework from 9pm until 11pm. Go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am. Rinse and repeat.

The question is how many kids can actually do this for years in order to be good?

When do they have time to pet the dog, talk to their GF/BF, watch a sunset, bake brownies, play a board game, curl up with a good book, or just relax?

Grind culture is so dreary.

I couldn’t agree more. It sounds like this guy wasn’t given much time to just be a kid when he was younger and was told that everything he does has to be for the sake of achievement as opposed to strictly the enjoyment of it.

More concerning is eventually he’s going to attempt something and either fail or simply not be the best at it, and that could be completely devastating to him since he’s never experienced not excelling. I’ve know people like this, and their first experience with failure is much more extreme than most others.

Agree with this. I was this kid and it does not make for a happy experience. Now looking back I don’t think it was worth it. I missed out on fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird how none of you have considered that by the time a kid like this grows up, of course he’s good at everything he does. He already dropped all the sh!t he wasn’t good at…

Even Hermione Granger dropped a class she had no talent for.

Ideally you have your kid try a bunch of stuff, sort out strengths & weakness and good programs with a future, go all in on your best things, and hit your potential and beyond!

But most families - parents and the kid - are too lackadaisical to do that. Or stick through trading programs to level up, over and over again. Most families give up and take an easy route through middle and high school. Just be average. It’s easier!

[Anonymous]

Tom Brady speaks about all of this a lot.

I think it takes a special motivated kid and parents or coaches or teachers who can ID talent and improve it.

For my spouse his HS guidance counselor got him out to a great academic college program. His parents were clueless and dealing with the special needs brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 22-year-old recently grad started his job yesterday in accounting/finance, and he reports directly to me. We had lunch and a long conversation while he was waiting for access to the system. According to this young man, his childhood was always busy with activities. His parents made him practice piano, guitar, swimming, soccer, golf, and tennis everyday. He was also a very good student on top of those activities. He even showed me some of those activities that his parents captured on YouTube, and he looked excellent. He ended up at a very good college, and played sport there. His social life also improved because of the activities that he acquired in his teen years. I came away very impressed by this young man, and I would not be surprised that he will be my boss a few years from now.

All of this brings up my question: How can someone be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

What! practice all of those things every day?
That was a choice made by the parents early on (with no input from him) and they had the resources to provide that to him. Because really it's not just a matter of lessons. If my kids wanted to play tennis everyday, they would have to head to the neighborhood court, and golfing (which they do a little of) would be even harder to schedule everyday. You are unduly impressed by a kid from a very wealthy family. Of course he would be impressive. Sounds like he started life half way between 3rd and home.

+1

Wealthy people can also get rid of every little bit of friction that a normal person has to deal with on a daily basis. They can outsource any activity (cleaning, organizing, purchasing needed items -- they can even outsource the coordination of these outsourced services to a household manager or assistant) that does not perfectly optimize their time.

This kid was raised the way Jeff Bezos currently lives his life, with an army of staff and plenty of resources to ensure that each waking moment can be as productive as possible. But it's relevant that Bezos actually had to work to get to that point and this kid was just born into it, like royalty.

Without obstacles anything is possible. Most people deal with obstacles. I wonder what might happen if this kid encounters an obstacle that cannot be easily resolved with money and privilege. A relationship failure or a dire medical issue.

This is such an odd thread. OP didn't describe someone who sounds ultra wealthy at all. And what teen needs outsourcing in order to do activities? Teens have plenty of time after school.

She really did.
You just missed the clues.
All those activities everyday? Maybe she was exaggerating that he played golf and tennis every day. If so, fine I agree.
But if not, yes, they were wealthy.

By wealthy, you mean MC/UMC, which is the majority of Americans. Knock it off with your silly "privilege" bashing when you're talking about regular Americans.

The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have loved this support as a child. I’m naturally good at most things I try. With a nudge and deep pockets more potential would have opened. Working on it retroactively and learning how to foster a balance on my own bright kid. ❤️

Ehhh. I wish my parents had pushed me or made me do something with my running and speed- like soccer or better track coaching.

My family always said they’d pay and support us in any academic or activity.

I tried a bunch of sports but never long enough or good programs to get goods plus I switched every year or two so really never got good.

My brother went all in on baseball, running and then soccer and did very well.

Oh well. My parents left it up to me and I just dabbled. This was the 1990s. I’d imagine dabbling doesn’t get you anywhere now given all the specializing at a young age onward.

It’s takes some wherewithal from a parent.
Like how so many basketball and football phenoms have D1 or professional athlete parents themselves. They know what to do, when, and push their kids. Or push the kids that are talented or can be pushed. Problem children get left on the wayside.

Nothing hurts a parent or later, a kid, more than knowing they wasted their talents. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

The feeling of regret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 22-year-old recently grad started his job yesterday in accounting/finance, and he reports directly to me. We had lunch and a long conversation while he was waiting for access to the system. According to this young man, his childhood was always busy with activities. His parents made him practice piano, guitar, swimming, soccer, golf, and tennis everyday. He was also a very good student on top of those activities. He even showed me some of those activities that his parents captured on YouTube, and he looked excellent. He ended up at a very good college, and played sport there. His social life also improved because of the activities that he acquired in his teen years. I came away very impressed by this young man, and I would not be surprised that he will be my boss a few years from now.

All of this brings up my question: How can someone be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

What! practice all of those things every day?
That was a choice made by the parents early on (with no input from him) and they had the resources to provide that to him. Because really it's not just a matter of lessons. If my kids wanted to play tennis everyday, they would have to head to the neighborhood court, and golfing (which they do a little of) would be even harder to schedule everyday. You are unduly impressed by a kid from a very wealthy family. Of course he would be impressive. Sounds like he started life half way between 3rd and home.

+1

Wealthy people can also get rid of every little bit of friction that a normal person has to deal with on a daily basis. They can outsource any activity (cleaning, organizing, purchasing needed items -- they can even outsource the coordination of these outsourced services to a household manager or assistant) that does not perfectly optimize their time.

This kid was raised the way Jeff Bezos currently lives his life, with an army of staff and plenty of resources to ensure that each waking moment can be as productive as possible. But it's relevant that Bezos actually had to work to get to that point and this kid was just born into it, like royalty.

Without obstacles anything is possible. Most people deal with obstacles. I wonder what might happen if this kid encounters an obstacle that cannot be easily resolved with money and privilege. A relationship failure or a dire medical issue.

This is such an odd thread. OP didn't describe someone who sounds ultra wealthy at all. And what teen needs outsourcing in order to do activities? Teens have plenty of time after school.

She really did.
You just missed the clues.
All those activities everyday? Maybe she was exaggerating that he played golf and tennis every day. If so, fine I agree.
But if not, yes, they were wealthy.

Note it’s a lot of individual sports and activities mainly; the type that Southeast Asian and Chinese American families prefer. Along with the requisite daily studying and learning ahead models they like.

Good points

The person Op is talking about did all individual sports where you could get private lessons or make progress at home, alone, and on whatever schedule you and your coach decide. You didn’t need a big team of offense and defense and field space and gear.

And less team placement politics. Tennis, swimming, golf- very clear winner of the match or race or round. No refs mucking up games, no parents donating for more playing time. Best time wins the swim. Beat another ranked tennis player in the match, take the rank. Golf, come on count the swings, not much to squabble about.

Tennis, golf- you get your coach and small group and do it in your time. Efficient.

Swimming I don’t get. By age 13 they want you doing double practices daily. And there are lack of indoor pools in the Wash DC area so you are on their negotiated time slots.

Maybe he went to a small private school where you had to do a sport every season. Either way he still choose individual sports.

My kids are social and do summer swim here in MoCo, but vastly prefer team ball sports and socializing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^
All eggs in one basket for onlies we know these tys people

Kids end up done and dusted by early high school

Yes, the ones without potential max out, if they were actually training hard in the best programs with the best coaches.

Some parents max out too and just say forgot it. But it’s worth it to test your kid- their talents and their motivation to practice & get better. It takes both.

[Anonymous]

My kid will only sign up for something if she’s good at it initially. Then peeters out and doesn’t put in the time to get better. Going to practice 2x a week is the bare minimum come middle school.

Oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^
All eggs in one basket for onlies we know these tys people

Like the lebrons? Practiced 6 days a week plus conditioning since age 7. Got done and dusted?

Problem is when you look at all the top college athletes and certainly the professional ones, MOST played in competitive leagues or had a parent coach for a very long time. SOME were multi sport through it all, and SOME switched primary sports and took off.

We know a tall tuba player who got recruited to row in college and ended up on the Olympic team two years later! Height, bulked up, trained with best programs, disciplined and coachable. And transferred schools to do so. Hard pivot that paid off. Good in that recruiter and kid for trying it out and training so hard, so quickly.

[Anonymous]

Tuba was the lung capacity. Tall kid had super efficient oxygen transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 22-year-old recently grad started his job yesterday in accounting/finance, and he reports directly to me. We had lunch and a long conversation while he was waiting for access to the system. According to this young man, his childhood was always busy with activities. His parents made him practice piano, guitar, swimming, soccer, golf, and tennis everyday. He was also a very good student on top of those activities. He even showed me some of those activities that his parents captured on YouTube, and he looked excellent. He ended up at a very good college, and played sport there. His social life also improved because of the activities that he acquired in his teen years. I came away very impressed by this young man, and I would not be surprised that he will be my boss a few years from now.

All of this brings up my question: How can someone be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

Sounds like an Asian immigrant kid and tiger parents.

Showing you videos makes sense for this profile too. Though may be generational. Still is tacky IMO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.