How can a kid be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

[Anonymous]

My vote is the kid went to private school where sports teams were always hour 8 and in lieu of PE class.

And had tiger mom Asian or Indian parents. They take school and college seriously. And can be well-resourced.

This does not sound like a magnet school scholar athlete. Those are rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Agree. All manageable.

Boarding schools with recruiter level sports programs also give big scholarships and discounts if a top athlete and not going to pay full freight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 22-year-old recently grad started his job yesterday in accounting/finance, and he reports directly to me. We had lunch and a long conversation while he was waiting for access to the system. According to this young man, his childhood was always busy with activities. His parents made him practice piano, guitar, swimming, soccer, golf, and tennis everyday. He was also a very good student on top of those activities. He even showed me some of those activities that his parents captured on YouTube, and he looked excellent. He ended up at a very good college, and played sport there. His social life also improved because of the activities that he acquired in his teen years. I came away very impressed by this young man, and I would not be surprised that he will be my boss a few years from now.

All of this brings up my question: How can someone be so good at so many activities with a limited amount of time?

It's easy to be good at any sport if you play many sports—they all feed off each other. The same goes for music—kids who are musically inclined can pick up multiple instruments. He sounds like my middle school kid. He's not the best at any sport right now, but he plays three sports at a high level. He plays two instruments in the school band (one for the regular band and another for the jazz band) and plays guitar, piano, and violin at home as the mood strikes. Unclear whether any of this matters other than he's too busy to get into trouble and he has a lot depth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Play guitar 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Play piano 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Practice tennis one hour every day. Definitely doable
- Practice golf one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Swimming one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Play an 18-hole round of golf (3 1/2 hours) and 2 hours of tennis on Saturday. Definitely doable,
- Practice two hours of guitar and piano on Sunday. Definitely doable,

High school ends at 3pm, and it takes 20 minutes to get to Westwood CC in Vienna. Take three hours to practice golf, tennis, swimming. Get home at 6:30pm, and have dinner at 7pm. Practice piano and guitar from 7:30pm until 9pm. Homework from 9pm until 11pm. Go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am. Rinse and repeat.

The question is how many kids can actually do this for years in order to be good?

Your child must be gifted or has no intention of taking BC calc, AP Chem, and AP Lit in the same year. Ah, but I forget, tutors, of course.

The kids who actually belong in BC, AP Chem and AP Lit are definitely done with hw within 2 hours. Some kids really are at the top, the rest are just being pushed by their parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Play guitar 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Play piano 45 minutes every day. Definitely doable,
- Practice tennis one hour every day. Definitely doable
- Practice golf one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Swimming one hour every day. Definitely doable,
- Play an 18-hole round of golf (3 1/2 hours) and 2 hours of tennis on Saturday. Definitely doable,
- Practice two hours of guitar and piano on Sunday. Definitely doable,

High school ends at 3pm, and it takes 20 minutes to get to Westwood CC in Vienna. Take three hours to practice golf, tennis, swimming. Get home at 6:30pm, and have dinner at 7pm. Practice piano and guitar from 7:30pm until 9pm. Homework from 9pm until 11pm. Go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 7am. Rinse and repeat.

The question is how many kids can actually do this for years in order to be good?

Your child must be gifted or has no intention of taking BC calc, AP Chem, and AP Lit in the same year. Ah, but I forget, tutors, of course.

The kids who actually belong in BC, AP Chem and AP Lit are definitely done with hw within 2 hours. Some kids really are at the top, the rest are just being pushed by their parents

+1. We have one of each.
Self driven and smart. Not driven and smart, doesn’t apply themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some humans are just really impressive.

My kids go to a top private (not in DC) and there are a few there who are just insanely impressive. They are national merit semifinalists, have perfect SAT scores (1600) took calculus in 9th grade, run a 4 minute mile and are team captains for another sport. Plus they're artistic, kind, funny, good looking and completely solid on a mental health level.

It's not my kids (at all) but they exist.

You can do anything if you lie enough.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_high_school_students_who_have_run_a_four-minute_mile

calculus in 9th grade is also suspicious.

I alumni interview at Blair. It’s not common but not unheard of, certain cultures tutor and study ahead in math and science. Or just accelerate or demand it from the schools. The kids themselves do to.

There are several kids at McLean HS taking Calculus in 9th grade.

At McLean HS, there is one 10 year-old boy taking multi variable calculus in a class with all seniors.

At TJ, there is a different 10 year-old; a girl, and she did not gain admission with just the bare minimum of only non-honors algebra in 8th grade.

Both of these 10 year-olds are keeping up with their classmates and doing well, grade wise.

Why do so many of you disbelieve in excellence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

And? Poster I replied to continues to not be middle class.

You think hiring a kid to play catch or shoot hoops with your kids is more parental effort than doing it yourself, btw?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

And? Poster I replied to continues to not be middle class.

You think hiring a kid to play catch or shoot hoops with your kids is more parental effort than doing it yourself, btw?

DP. We never played lacrosse, so hiring a college kid to get our kid started with a decent form made perfect sense. We play catch with them, too, but they correct us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

And? Poster I replied to continues to not be middle class.

You think hiring a kid to play catch or shoot hoops with your kids is more parental effort than doing it yourself, btw?

DP. We never played lacrosse, so hiring a college kid to get our kid started with a decent form made perfect sense. We play catch with them, too, but they correct us!

And that’s all well and good. I get that it makes sense when you don’t know what you’re doing. But is it really more *effort* to pay money to someone else to play with your kid?

(Obviously I am taking issue with the doofus I responded to before you, not anyone who gets coaching for their kids!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some humans are just really impressive.

My kids go to a top private (not in DC) and there are a few there who are just insanely impressive. They are national merit semifinalists, have perfect SAT scores (1600) took calculus in 9th grade, run a 4 minute mile and are team captains for another sport. Plus they're artistic, kind, funny, good looking and completely solid on a mental health level.

It's not my kids (at all) but they exist.

You can do anything if you lie enough.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_high_school_students_who_have_run_a_four-minute_mile

calculus in 9th grade is also suspicious.

I alumni interview at Blair. It’s not common but not unheard of, certain cultures tutor and study ahead in math and science. Or just accelerate or demand it from the schools. The kids themselves do to.

There are several kids at McLean HS taking Calculus in 9th grade.

At McLean HS, there is one 10 year-old boy taking multi variable calculus in a class with all seniors.

At TJ, there is a different 10 year-old; a girl, and she did not gain admission with just the bare minimum of only non-honors algebra in 8th grade.

Both of these 10 year-olds are keeping up with their classmates and doing well, grade wise.

Why do so many of you disbelieve in excellence?

How is this excellence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some humans are just really impressive.

My kids go to a top private (not in DC) and there are a few there who are just insanely impressive. They are national merit semifinalists, have perfect SAT scores (1600) took calculus in 9th grade, run a 4 minute mile and are team captains for another sport. Plus they're artistic, kind, funny, good looking and completely solid on a mental health level.

It's not my kids (at all) but they exist.

You can do anything if you lie enough.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_high_school_students_who_have_run_a_four-minute_mile

calculus in 9th grade is also suspicious.

I alumni interview at Blair. It’s not common but not unheard of, certain cultures tutor and study ahead in math and science. Or just accelerate or demand it from the schools. The kids themselves do to.

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

And? Poster I replied to continues to not be middle class.

You think hiring a kid to play catch or shoot hoops with your kids is more parental effort than doing it yourself, btw?

DP. We never played lacrosse, so hiring a college kid to get our kid started with a decent form made perfect sense. We play catch with them, too, but they correct us!

And that’s all well and good. I get that it makes sense when you don’t know what you’re doing. But is it really more *effort* to pay money to someone else to play with your kid?

(Obviously I am taking issue with the doofus I responded to before you, not anyone who gets coaching for their kids!)

Another DP. I've had to call around to find a pitching coach for my kid (because softball pitching is incredibly complicated and there are major differences between schools of thought so we can't just learn it via YouTube) and to find music teachers. I really, really tried to find high school or college athletes or musicians to do it, because professionals are pretty expensive in all cases. It was HARD. In the case of the pitching coach, I stumbled accidentally on someone who pointed me to the motherload of student-athletes. In the case of music teachers, I never was able to find someone despite months of searching and asking around. Mentally it was more exhausting than all the time I spend catching for my pitcher while she's practicing, though it took less time to actually get the lists and make the calls. Even finding the professional teachers we ended up using for music was a lot of work. And no, I can't teach my kids to play their instruments because I don't play myself. My role in that is just making sure they practice an adequate amount.

Maybe I'm atypical (or a doofus), but I can see where PP is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of Americans cannot afford (and do not have the time) to enroll their kids in four sports and two instruments year round. Even if we assume the story has some exaggeration and that this kid was not actually being shuttled daily from swim to soccer to tennis to golf and then still fitting in a piano practice at home before completing several hours of homework, that many activities done a level of high competency is not achievable even for a disciplined and self-motivated MC kid. It simply requires too much time and money.

I'm guessing this kid is either from a very wealthy family or from a highly resourced family and is an only child (so like maybe his parents are UMC but he's the only grandchild and his grandparents are well off and not only helped pay for all his activities but also supported them by helping with travel and encouragement and attending meets and recitals and all of it.

But no your average MC or UMC family can't do that. You're talking about, from the age of 6 or so, having your kid in swim 2-3 days a week, soccer at least twice a week, piano once a week plus daily practice, guitar once a week plus daily practice, tennis at least 2 days a week, and golf at least 2 days a week. Even for a kid who is a natural athlete and musician that is an insane schedule. It would basically be a full time job just to manage his activity schedule and get him to and from everything plus making sure he always has the right gear for everything. So you've either got a parent or a grandparent who can make that their full time job (even if you have a SAHP it means they are outsourcing a lot of the other SAHP stuff -- cleaning and meal planning and vacation planning etc. -- to optimize their kid's extra-curriculars, and that's going to cost $$$) or you are essentially hiring a personal assistant for your elementary grade kid to handle this.

If you are just a standard MC family, this kid does two sports and one instrument and then adds some additional stuff in high school (as strong athlete can add something like track or wrestling, a great musician can easily add guitar to piano in MS or HS) but they aren't doing all 6 activities year round through their entire childhood and adolescence. And several of those activities require an early start and regular practice and coaching (tennis and golf in particular -- teams in these sports are small and you are very unlikely to make them without private coaching even if you are a natural talent simply because there will be other kids who are naturally talented AND who get the private coaching) so they aren't just picking those up later and then getting to a high level of proficiency.

I am UMC and have a kid who is a competitive swimmer and tennis player and who also does ballet and piano. It absolutely requires money and a lot of resources. We couldn't afford it if we had more than one kid, for instance.

Ofcourse it is possible for a MC family because ​my wife and I are two GS-15 government workers with three kids. All of them play golf, tennis, soccer, and practice guitar & saxophone year round, with private lessons.

Your HHI must be around 300K. You’re not middle class (you’re upper middle class).

NP. There are so many colleges here and athletes there who will do private lessons. For less than $100 a half hour.

But that takes parental effort to talk and call around.

And? Poster I replied to continues to not be middle class.

You think hiring a kid to play catch or shoot hoops with your kids is more parental effort than doing it yourself, btw?

DP. We never played lacrosse, so hiring a college kid to get our kid started with a decent form made perfect sense. We play catch with them, too, but they correct us!

And that’s all well and good. I get that it makes sense when you don’t know what you’re doing. But is it really more *effort* to pay money to someone else to play with your kid?

(Obviously I am taking issue with the doofus I responded to before you, not anyone who gets coaching for their kids!)

Hey “doofus”:
No one here said it was “more” effort than DIY.

They said it was effort to find a tutor or a private coach. It didn’t magically happen.

They also said there are reasonably priced options with college students in our college town.