Mindset of Travel Sport Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but wouldn't it be better for the future of the country if instead of encouraging your kids to compete and use all of their energy for something that is highly probable to be nothing more than a hobby in their lives, you have them learn to be aggressive and competitive academics and voracious readers? Just saying, studying is a learned skill. A PP asked how we use our weekends if not travel sports...um, our kid in elementary school is learning a second language, going to museums, reading...things that will make a difference to them and to our country.

No. That would not be good for the Country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about others but for us it is quite simple. Our kid loves her sport and we love our kid.
She has too much skill to play rec level as it is frustrating for her. The travel level provides her with the challenge she craves.
She sets the pace and as her parents we want to support her. Nothing more, nothing less.

The dc metro area has a ton of the same level players as your kid—why does she need to travel to Delaware and North Carolina when there are players around here at her level? I get not wanting to do rec, but why do the “travel” teams have to travel so far they need hotels? You are ALL leaving the area when you can play each other here.

The one year we did a travel sport, DS's team flew to Nashville to compete against a team from Silver Spring. Stupidest thing ever.
A lot of adults are making a lot of money of these stupid tournaments and teams... it makes me irate if I thikn about it too much.

What sport?

[Anonymous]

Kids do stuff. People like to have their kids involved in athletic activities for many reasons. Fun. Group socialization skills. Takes time away from unproductive activities. Develops focus. Increases coordination and general conditioning. All strong positives.

Just like any activity though, as kids age they grow and physical abilities differ. Kids have different likes and dislikes, and kids - every kid - has to go through the experience and learn that practice moves you forward and can, itself, be interesting and challenging. That personal enjoyment can be found in the process of working to improve yourself.

Whether you play chess, paint, play an instrument, do science research, focus on math, write fiction, or play a sport - to improve you must practice. And, the more intense and higher level/advanced you get in anything - the more time you have to spend on it.

Want to be a good baseball player? It takes a mountain of practice and natural ability to excel. Want to be a good piano player - it takes a mountain of practice and natural ability to excel. Want to be a good writer? It takes a mountain of practice and natural ability to excel. Want to be a …., it takes a mountain of practice and natural ability to excel.

It is frankly both stupid and mean to criticize parents because they are doing something with their kids. No one who is an actual parent should ever do that. Do we make mistakes with these decisions? Sure. But not if the kids do not enjoy the activity. Just because a parent likes math does not mean their kid likes math. You go with what the kid likes. And, importantly, you can only do what works for the family. Time and cost are huge considerations. We tease our kids that they had the ability to be Olympic dressage riders, if only we could have afforded the lessons…and the horses, and they equipment (we lived a few minutes from a training site). You do what you can do. And, you deal with the learning process. No kid sits down at the piano for the first time and plays Mozart. Years and years of practice are required. You learn in stages and you advance slowly. Maybe your kid is like me and after 10 years of piano lessons and an hour a day of practice - it is still a struggle to be competent. My talents lie elsewhere. But, I still got things out of it.

Do you have to travel to do things? Sometimes yes. Sometimes teachers or competition is elsewhere so you go there. My daughter played soccer through college. As a teen she played on teams that looked to compete at a very high level. Some kids on the team came significant distances to play on the team. They did it for 2-3 years and got college deals from it. Is that bad? They could have played on not as good teams. Not gotten the training. Not gotten a college scholarship. Are they bad for doing that? If you have a team where pretty much ever kid in the team is going to play in college - who do they play games against? In the State of New York there might be 2-4 teams like that for an age group. Do they just play each other over and over? They are trying to get seen by college coaches to get scholarship offers. Are you telling them they can’t be seen by coaches outside their geographic area?

Like I said - mean and stupid.







Kids on the team came from some

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my kid has been really intense about sports from a young age (DH and I are reasonably athletic/played competitive sports when we were younger).

He was getting frustrated with rec baseball because some kids are still digging in the dirt even at age 9/10. And unfortunately where we live there isn’t an intermediate league in between rec and travel (I think there is a huge untapped market of families who want more competition than rec without travel commitment, but I digress).

DS really wanted to try out for travel and made it his first year. From talking with others it seems like there is an advantage getting in at an early age because there does seem to be an edge for returning players vs new kids trying out. Maybe we’ve lucked out, but practices are 15 min from home max (sometimes right down the street) and even scrimmages/non-tournament games haven’t been too far. Even travel tournaments are often driveable from home or we make a family trip of it. Financially we can afford this without it making a huge dent in our budget so I recognize we are lucky in that regard.

If all my kid ever gets out of this is experiencing camaraderie, a love of physical fitness, and practice toward setting and reaching goals I think that is worth it. He has a 529 and we plan to pay for college, so not banking on any scholarship. Don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses either, we live a pretty low key life (modest house, non-fancy cars, etc.)

I’m curious why anyone whose kid isn’t into travel sports remotely cares about this?

Just FYI...if your kid plays on a program that gets a lot of kids recruited by college, this probably won't apply at 17u. My kid joined a team at 17u that cut the majority of the team at the 17u year and replaced them with better players...these were kids that had been playing for years, some since 10u.

This team prides itself on getting kids recruited for college and the summer of 16u, and then Fall/Summer of 17u are the most critical time. If they don't think your kid is college recruitable, then they don't keep them.

My only advice is pay attention to the 16u (again, they make changes between Fall and Summer) and 17u teams, and what the program does at those ages.

Oh I’m sure that is the case, but this thread is about preteen travel. I assume by 13/14 y/o it increasingly becomes competitive and this won’t apply. It’s entirely possible my kid will burn out or fizzle out, or even find new passions by then. But for now in this age group he’s having a fun time hanging with kids outside his normal peer group and getting lots of physical activity and new experiences.

[Anonymous]

For most, the kid is the driver. The kid like/loves the sport. Rec can be bad. As they get older if they are good -- things could open up.

PP mentioned ECNL soccer. If you can get on an ECNL team, and stay there until the prime recruiting years (Soph year to set up, recruiting in junior year) you will play in college if you want to. High school as well if you want to.

If that is no interest then you can downgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because my kid has been really intense about sports from a young age (DH and I are reasonably athletic/played competitive sports when we were younger).

He was getting frustrated with rec baseball because some kids are still digging in the dirt even at age 9/10. And unfortunately where we live there isn’t an intermediate league in between rec and travel (I think there is a huge untapped market of families who want more competition than rec without travel commitment, but I digress).

DS really wanted to try out for travel and made it his first year. From talking with others it seems like there is an advantage getting in at an early age because there does seem to be an edge for returning players vs new kids trying out. Maybe we’ve lucked out, but practices are 15 min from home max (sometimes right down the street) and even scrimmages/non-tournament games haven’t been too far. Even travel tournaments are often driveable from home or we make a family trip of it. Financially we can afford this without it making a huge dent in our budget so I recognize we are lucky in that regard.

If all my kid ever gets out of this is experiencing camaraderie, a love of physical fitness, and practice toward setting and reaching goals I think that is worth it. He has a 529 and we plan to pay for college, so not banking on any scholarship. Don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses either, we live a pretty low key life (modest house, non-fancy cars, etc.)

I’m curious why anyone whose kid isn’t into travel sports remotely cares about this?

Just FYI...if your kid plays on a program that gets a lot of kids recruited by college, this probably won't apply at 17u. My kid joined a team at 17u that cut the majority of the team at the 17u year and replaced them with better players...these were kids that had been playing for years, some since 10u.

This team prides itself on getting kids recruited for college and the summer of 16u, and then Fall/Summer of 17u are the most critical time. If they don't think your kid is college recruitable, then they don't keep them.

My only advice is pay attention to the 16u (again, they make changes between Fall and Summer) and 17u teams, and what the program does at those ages.

Oh I’m sure that is the case, but this thread is about preteen travel. I assume by 13/14 y/o it increasingly becomes competitive and this won’t apply. It’s entirely possible my kid will burn out or fizzle out, or even find new passions by then. But for now in this age group he’s having a fun time hanging with kids outside his normal peer group and getting lots of physical activity and new experiences.

I’ll add that I do appreciate the advice though! It’s something to keep in mind when we weigh pros/cons of continuing to try out in older years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about others but for us it is quite simple. Our kid loves her sport and we love our kid.
She has too much skill to play rec level as it is frustrating for her. The travel level provides her with the challenge she craves.
She sets the pace and as her parents we want to support her. Nothing more, nothing less.

The dc metro area has a ton of the same level players as your kid—why does she need to travel to Delaware and North Carolina when there are players around here at her level? I get not wanting to do rec, but why do the “travel” teams have to travel so far they need hotels? You are ALL leaving the area when you can play each other here.

The one year we did a travel sport, DS's team flew to Nashville to compete against a team from Silver Spring. Stupidest thing ever.
A lot of adults are making a lot of money of these stupid tournaments and teams... it makes me irate if I thikn about it too much.

What sport?

Your mum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love it and have a ton of fun. We like the other parents and like watching the sport. What else would we do on weekend?

Nothing because you are boring and vapid

LOL. Yes, nothing more exciting than going to the Smithsonian AGAIN…

Your pea brain likes to booze at the hotel bar we get it

I can’t afford the hotel bar after all the other expenses! Party in the hotel room!

Sorry you don’t like fun, but I’m sure you’ll find your tribe somewhere.

It is a weird flex that you are saying you no longer know how to spend a weekend without watching a youth sporting event.

I am a travel parent, but if my kid weren't playing then the family would be out golfing, or kayaking, or camping, or any number of activities. Now that our kid can drive, we actually do some of those things without our kid and they go to their sporting events on their own.

Not really sure why you are bragging about the fact that you wouldn't have anything else to do.

Not sure where you got bragging? I just object to being called boring and vapid because I genuinely enjoy watching my kid play a sport he’s passionate about while hanging out with other adults I genuinely like.

Oh, wow, you go camping?!?! That’s just SO impressive. You haul yourself to the middle of the woods to sit around and do nothing and think that’s superior to hauling yourself to a field somewhere to sit around and do nothing. LOL.

And let’s be real, princess. You’re spending your average weekend cleaning your house and taking care of your yard, just like the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love it and have a ton of fun. We like the other parents and like watching the sport. What else would we do on weekend?

Nothing because you are boring and vapid

LOL. Yes, nothing more exciting than going to the Smithsonian AGAIN…

Your pea brain likes to booze at the hotel bar we get it

I can’t afford the hotel bar after all the other expenses! Party in the hotel room!

Sorry you don’t like fun, but I’m sure you’ll find your tribe somewhere.

It is a weird flex that you are saying you no longer know how to spend a weekend without watching a youth sporting event.

I am a travel parent, but if my kid weren't playing then the family would be out golfing, or kayaking, or camping, or any number of activities. Now that our kid can drive, we actually do some of those things without our kid and they go to their sporting events on their own.

Not really sure why you are bragging about the fact that you wouldn't have anything else to do.

Not sure where you got bragging? I just object to being called boring and vapid because I genuinely enjoy watching my kid play a sport he’s passionate about while hanging out with other adults I genuinely like.

Oh, wow, you go camping?!?! That’s just SO impressive. You haul yourself to the middle of the woods to sit around and do nothing and think that’s superior to hauling yourself to a field somewhere to sit around and do nothing. LOL.

And let’s be real, princess. You’re spending your average weekend cleaning your house and taking care of your yard, just like the rest of us.

No…actually we aren’t. However, once more you bragged that you don’t have anything else to do in your life nor I guess any interest or really anything interesting about you except watch your youth sports. Again…your words.

What’s your plan when it’s over? Doesn’t sound like you have one…maybe stalk some other kids’ sports games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about others but for us it is quite simple. Our kid loves her sport and we love our kid.
She has too much skill to play rec level as it is frustrating for her. The travel level provides her with the challenge she craves.
She sets the pace and as her parents we want to support her. Nothing more, nothing less.

The dc metro area has a ton of the same level players as your kid—why does she need to travel to Delaware and North Carolina when there are players around here at her level? I get not wanting to do rec, but why do the “travel” teams have to travel so far they need hotels? You are ALL leaving the area when you can play each other here.

+1, it’s just make-work so the parents feel like their kid is accomplished

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love it and have a ton of fun. We like the other parents and like watching the sport. What else would we do on weekend?

Nothing because you are boring and vapid

LOL. Yes, nothing more exciting than going to the Smithsonian AGAIN…

Your pea brain likes to booze at the hotel bar we get it

I can’t afford the hotel bar after all the other expenses! Party in the hotel room!

Sorry you don’t like fun, but I’m sure you’ll find your tribe somewhere.

It is a weird flex that you are saying you no longer know how to spend a weekend without watching a youth sporting event.

I am a travel parent, but if my kid weren't playing then the family would be out golfing, or kayaking, or camping, or any number of activities. Now that our kid can drive, we actually do some of those things without our kid and they go to their sporting events on their own.

Not really sure why you are bragging about the fact that you wouldn't have anything else to do.

Not sure where you got bragging? I just object to being called boring and vapid because I genuinely enjoy watching my kid play a sport he’s passionate about while hanging out with other adults I genuinely like.

Oh, wow, you go camping?!?! That’s just SO impressive. You haul yourself to the middle of the woods to sit around and do nothing and think that’s superior to hauling yourself to a field somewhere to sit around and do nothing. LOL.

And let’s be real, princess. You’re spending your average weekend cleaning your house and taking care of your yard, just like the rest of us.

No…actually we aren’t. However, once more you bragged that you don’t have anything else to do in your life nor I guess any interest or really anything interesting about you except watch your youth sports. Again…your words.

What’s your plan when it’s over? Doesn’t sound like you have one…maybe stalk some other kids’ sports games?

Sorry you don’t approve of how a random stranger spends their time. Also sorry that you’d rather play golf than spend your weekend with your kid now that he can drive. I guess it’s already over for you, huh? And your plan is to… golf? Sleep in a tent? Continue to pay other people to do your chores? What a fascinating, totally unique person you are!

I am most sorry, though, that you are unfamiliar with the concept of a figure of speech. Or hyperbole. Maybe spend some of your time (now that you no longer have to pretend to be interested in your own kid) taking a high school level English class. (FYI I’m not even the PP who said “what else would we do on a weekend?” but unlike you, I am clever enough to not take that statement literally.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the mindset of parents who sign their pre-teens up for intense travel sports? Are they trying to keep up with the Jones'? Hoping their kid will get a baseball scholarship? Hoping their kid will be the next David Beckham? I just don't understand the appeal of an entire family sacrificing all of their weekend and weeknight time to these leagues. Patrice's multiple night s a week sometimes an hour away from home, tournaments lasting all weekend long four hours away, how do so many parents get sucked in?

NP. DCUMs obsessed anti-athlete posters are so weird and lacking in basic social skills.

Here is your answer. I know it’s hard for you to grasp. But here it is: Some people like to do things with their kids that are different than things you like to do.

I swear a good percentage of DCUM thread originators would be so much happier in their lives if they could understand that extremely basic concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the mindset of parents who sign their pre-teens up for intense travel sports? Are they trying to keep up with the Jones'? Hoping their kid will get a baseball scholarship? Hoping their kid will be the next David Beckham? I just don't understand the appeal of an entire family sacrificing all of their weekend and weeknight time to these leagues. Patrice's multiple night s a week sometimes an hour away from home, tournaments lasting all weekend long four hours away, how do so many parents get sucked in?

NP. DCUMs obsessed anti-athlete posters are so weird and lacking in basic social skills.

Here is your answer. I know it’s hard for you to grasp. But here it is: Some people like to do things with their kids that are different than things you like to do.

I swear a good percentage of DCUM thread originators would be so much happier in their lives if they could understand that extremely basic concept.

+10000
I would not give up for anything the years and miles of travel sports and spending that time with my kids. Mine are older now and I miss that bonding time.

[Anonymous]

I don't get the travel sport thing either. My son did travel soccer for two years because three of his close friends were and there were some parents who just took it way too seriously, and were actually yelling at the kids on the field. While I'm glad my son had the experience, the whole thing left me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth and through the whole program, we were constantly reminding our son that it's just a game. Not for some parents though...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the travel sport thing either. My son did travel soccer for two years because three of his close friends were and there were some parents who just took it way too seriously, and were actually yelling at the kids on the field. While I'm glad my son had the experience, the whole thing left me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth and through the whole program, we were constantly reminding our son that it's just a game. Not for some parents though...

That’s how I feel about my kids’ experience in children’s theater. I’m glad my kids had the experience but I was truly shocked by some of the parent behavior I saw and I’m still confused about how anyone could encourage that for their kids.