Mindset of Travel Sport Parents

[Anonymous]

I have other kids at home. How could I do this? How are all of you doing this. I don't get it. Do you do nothing else?

[Anonymous]

Oh

[Anonymous]

I mean, yes, at a young age my kid had a dream to continue playing his sport in college. You say that like it is an unrealistic pipe dream. It isn’t. We supported that starting at 12/13 years old and it worked out. We did our best to keep things within reason and not drag our other child into sitting around for hours watching endless games. When a kid has a talent and drive and a dream, I don’t know how you judge parents for supporting that if they can. It isn’t about us. Our other child has no interest in sports and we are supportive of his interests too. It just didn’t require the travel etc.

[Anonymous]

Because my kid has been really intense about sports from a young age (DH and I are reasonably athletic/played competitive sports when we were younger).

He was getting frustrated with rec baseball because some kids are still digging in the dirt even at age 9/10. And unfortunately where we live there isn’t an intermediate league in between rec and travel (I think there is a huge untapped market of families who want more competition than rec without travel commitment, but I digress).

DS really wanted to try out for travel and made it his first year. From talking with others it seems like there is an advantage getting in at an early age because there does seem to be an edge for returning players vs new kids trying out. Maybe we’ve lucked out, but practices are 15 min from home max (sometimes right down the street) and even scrimmages/non-tournament games haven’t been too far. Even travel tournaments are often driveable from home or we make a family trip of it. Financially we can afford this without it making a huge dent in our budget so I recognize we are lucky in that regard.

If all my kid ever gets out of this is experiencing camaraderie, a love of physical fitness, and practice toward setting and reaching goals I think that is worth it. He has a 529 and we plan to pay for college, so not banking on any scholarship. Don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses either, we live a pretty low key life (modest house, non-fancy cars, etc.)

I’m curious why anyone whose kid isn’t into travel sports remotely cares about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No expectation here of college sports at all. If it leads there I would be pleasantly surprised but I know it’s very, very unlikely. And that’s fine.

Here's the thing. Except for the very rare stud athlete or football if your kid isn't on a travel/club team, your kid is going to struggle to get on the field at most highly competitive high school programs or large HS. It stinks but kids that have been playing on a club/travel team will just be that more advanced than those that don't. Doesn't mean there aren't rare occasions where a rec player can't make the jump or that that there are some HSs or teams that they can't play but for your big sports - baseball, basketball, soccer, etc., you better have more than rec sports in your kid's history. This is especially true if your kid is a boy. For girls there is more lee way.

Agree with this except for the part about being a girl. Most girls sports at our HS are rostered with girls who play high level competitive travel sports. Particularly soccer, lacrosse, and softball.

Well that’s cool but girls sports in general are way less competitive

In FCPS, the easiest team to make at any school is football. The hardest are usually boys basketball, girls basketball, girls volleyball, and girls soccer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about others but for us it is quite simple. Our kid loves her sport and we love our kid.
She has too much skill to play rec level as it is frustrating for her. The travel level provides her with the challenge she craves.
She sets the pace and as her parents we want to support her. Nothing more, nothing less.

The dc metro area has a ton of the same level players as your kid—why does she need to travel to Delaware and North Carolina when there are players around here at her level? I get not wanting to do rec, but why do the “travel” teams have to travel so far they need hotels? You are ALL leaving the area when you can play each other here.

Most tween level travel leagues (e.g. 9U, 10U, 11U) are not going that far. I live in Northern VA and my kid’s team goes places like Winchester and Hagerstown, not DE and NC. Most of the time we don’t need a hotel. And in the fall most games are through NVTBL. I think there is some wild overestimation going on regarding the travel and time commitment at the lower levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No expectation here of college sports at all. If it leads there I would be pleasantly surprised but I know it’s very, very unlikely. And that’s fine.

Here's the thing. Except for the very rare stud athlete or football if your kid isn't on a travel/club team, your kid is going to struggle to get on the field at most highly competitive high school programs or large HS. It stinks but kids that have been playing on a club/travel team will just be that more advanced than those that don't. Doesn't mean there aren't rare occasions where a rec player can't make the jump or that that there are some HSs or teams that they can't play but for your big sports - baseball, basketball, soccer, etc., you better have more than rec sports in your kid's history. This is especially true if your kid is a boy. For girls there is more lee way.

Agree with this except for the part about being a girl. Most girls sports at our HS are rostered with girls who play high level competitive travel sports. Particularly soccer, lacrosse, and softball.

Well that’s cool but girls sports in general are way less competitive

DD is a rising freshman. At the athletics meeting in the spring, the volleyball coach told all of the interested girls and their parents that any girl not playing club probably would not even make JV. The soccer coach has a very obvious preference for girls on the top teams of two clubs. Lacrosse is almost entirely fed by one club. Basketball by a handful of aau teams. Lots of parents with your attitude are going to have very disappointed daughters unless they happen to love crew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know about others but for us it is quite simple. Our kid loves her sport and we love our kid.
She has too much skill to play rec level as it is frustrating for her. The travel level provides her with the challenge she craves.
She sets the pace and as her parents we want to support her. Nothing more, nothing less.

The dc metro area has a ton of the same level players as your kid—why does she need to travel to Delaware and North Carolina when there are players around here at her level? I get not wanting to do rec, but why do the “travel” teams have to travel so far they need hotels? You are ALL leaving the area when you can play each other here.

Most tween level travel leagues (e.g. 9U, 10U, 11U) are not going that far. I live in Northern VA and my kid’s team goes places like Winchester and Hagerstown, not DE and NC. Most of the time we don’t need a hotel. And in the fall most games are through NVTBL. I think there is some wild overestimation going on regarding the travel and time commitment at the lower levels.

+1. DD's team is mostly girls who have college offers. We didn't have to fly to a tournament until U16

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but wouldn't it be better for the future of the country if instead of encouraging your kids to compete and use all of their energy for something that is highly probable to be nothing more than a hobby in their lives, you have them learn to be aggressive and competitive academics and voracious readers? Just saying, studying is a learned skill. A PP asked how we use our weekends if not travel sports...um, our kid in elementary school is learning a second language, going to museums, reading...things that will make a difference to them and to our country.

Many athletes are quite intelligent and do well in school because you’re talking about a driven subset of kids. Mine is in gifted classes and excels at an instrument in addition to playing a travel sport. He also loves reading and his bed is constantly covered with the current book series he is binging.

Further, being part of a team and taking care of your body through fitness are skills that can pay dividends into adult life.

Perhaps your “aggressive academic” and “voracious reader” could benefit from the social skills and physical strength built from sports? (See how easily your argument can be flipped around).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No expectation here of college sports at all. If it leads there I would be pleasantly surprised but I know it’s very, very unlikely. And that’s fine.

Here's the thing. Except for the very rare stud athlete or football if your kid isn't on a travel/club team, your kid is going to struggle to get on the field at most highly competitive high school programs or large HS. It stinks but kids that have been playing on a club/travel team will just be that more advanced than those that don't. Doesn't mean there aren't rare occasions where a rec player can't make the jump or that that there are some HSs or teams that they can't play but for your big sports - baseball, basketball, soccer, etc., you better have more than rec sports in your kid's history. This is especially true if your kid is a boy. For girls there is more lee way.

Agree with this except for the part about being a girl. Most girls sports at our HS are rostered with girls who play high level competitive travel sports. Particularly soccer, lacrosse, and softball.

Well that’s cool but girls sports in general are way less competitive

DD is a rising freshman. At the athletics meeting in the spring, the volleyball coach told all of the interested girls and their parents that any girl not playing club probably would not even make JV. The soccer coach has a very obvious preference for girls on the top teams of two clubs. Lacrosse is almost entirely fed by one club. Basketball by a handful of aau teams. Lots of parents with your attitude are going to have very disappointed daughters unless they happen to love crew

Still not convincing me it’s harder in general for girls to make the high school team in their respective sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have other kids at home. How could I do this? How are all of you doing this. I don't get it. Do you do nothing else?

We are a dual income household with 3 kids, and we manage through 2 flexible jobs and both parents carrying an equal load around the house. We also have an involved set of grandparents and are willing to pay for sitters when needed to help us get kids where they need to go. So tbh flexibility, money, and actively involved family is how we do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No expectation here of college sports at all. If it leads there I would be pleasantly surprised but I know it’s very, very unlikely. And that’s fine.

Here's the thing. Except for the very rare stud athlete or football if your kid isn't on a travel/club team, your kid is going to struggle to get on the field at most highly competitive high school programs or large HS. It stinks but kids that have been playing on a club/travel team will just be that more advanced than those that don't. Doesn't mean there aren't rare occasions where a rec player can't make the jump or that that there are some HSs or teams that they can't play but for your big sports - baseball, basketball, soccer, etc., you better have more than rec sports in your kid's history. This is especially true if your kid is a boy. For girls there is more lee way.

Agree with this except for the part about being a girl. Most girls sports at our HS are rostered with girls who play high level competitive travel sports. Particularly soccer, lacrosse, and softball.

Well that’s cool but girls sports in general are way less competitive

DD is a rising freshman. At the athletics meeting in the spring, the volleyball coach told all of the interested girls and their parents that any girl not playing club probably would not even make JV. The soccer coach has a very obvious preference for girls on the top teams of two clubs. Lacrosse is almost entirely fed by one club. Basketball by a handful of aau teams. Lots of parents with your attitude are going to have very disappointed daughters unless they happen to love crew

Still not convincing me it’s harder in general for girls to make the high school team in their respective sports

That's fine. Look at the numbers. Boys basketball is the hardest, but after that it's mostly girls sports. Boys football is the largest sport at most schools and no cut. There aren't any no cut girls team sports. The closest is field hockey, but they still cut

[Anonymous]

BC around 9 or 10, if you're kid likes the game, rec gets boring AF.

In rec, there are kids that don't care or don't want to be there. And that is so frustrating for the kid that wants to play and compete and learn.

Yeah, sometimes it sucks getting up at 5:30 to drive to a softball game on a saturday morning. But when your 10yo DD already set her alarm, put her uniform on, made her water and is waiting for you in the garage, you know its something she really loves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but wouldn't it be better for the future of the country if instead of encouraging your kids to compete and use all of their energy for something that is highly probable to be nothing more than a hobby in their lives, you have them learn to be aggressive and competitive academics and voracious readers? Just saying, studying is a learned skill. A PP asked how we use our weekends if not travel sports...um, our kid in elementary school is learning a second language, going to museums, reading...things that will make a difference to them and to our country.

Right, because being an academic scholar and a competitive athlete are mutually exclusive.

When in reality, the habits learned on the field or the court translate to the classroom, and visa versa.

I'm raising my son to be a renaissance man. The honor roll student and the captain of the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No expectation here of college sports at all. If it leads there I would be pleasantly surprised but I know it’s very, very unlikely. And that’s fine.

Here's the thing. Except for the very rare stud athlete or football if your kid isn't on a travel/club team, your kid is going to struggle to get on the field at most highly competitive high school programs or large HS. It stinks but kids that have been playing on a club/travel team will just be that more advanced than those that don't. Doesn't mean there aren't rare occasions where a rec player can't make the jump or that that there are some HSs or teams that they can't play but for your big sports - baseball, basketball, soccer, etc., you better have more than rec sports in your kid's history. This is especially true if your kid is a boy. For girls there is more lee way.

This is a great point. Unless your kid really desires to do not cut sport like XC, there's a slim chance of making any HS team if you don't switch to club around 10.

Our HS had over 100 kids try out for the baseball team. The poor rec kids had no idea what the level of play was going to be.