High maintenance DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$350 haircut!!!!!!!!!!

Should I feel shame for my 12 year old’s $500 haircut plus tip? If she had normal hair I wouldn’t have had to do it. She didn’t ask for it, I cared about her grooming. It’s 1,000 times better.

The salons are getting out of control. My other daughter, an arts student, goes to Bumble and Bumble in NYC for about $600 for highlights, cut and blow dry and tip. Everything is priced separately and now a blow dry after a cut is an extra $100. Them charging extra for a blow dry made her start looking for another place. Next they’ll charge extra for “premium shampoo”.

Weird post. A $500 haircut for a 12 year old? Yeah, you should maybe feel a little bit shamed—or at least aghast—about that. I don’t even know what you mean by normal hair.

And why does it matter that your other daughter is an arts student? Does she have some crazy asymmetrical purple hairstyle that’s supposed to look punk rock, but actually costs $600?

I do feel bad that I couldn’t accept her hair the way it was and wanted to change it. The other one has blonde hair normal thick straight hair. I said she’s in art because everyone else describes their child. Usually it’s “all As, all APs, sporty” . Problem?

As for OP, when you get highlights, cut, blow dry, maybe specific mask then it adds up to a lot of money. But it’s better than at home highlights which looks like crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DD is not high maintenance, she is entitled. Calculate what you are paying now and cut in in half. In a few months, cut it again. Be prepared because she will probably pitch a fit. She needs a job, as well as a dose of reality .(Soup kitchen).

This.

I don’t get parents like OP who just throw up their arms.

It is a badge of honor to have an entitled kid like this who likes nice things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

NP. Agree. I am reading this thread with interest. Everyone is shocked at OP’s daughter, but I am hearing the same from my DD. Her friends are getting their hair colored/highlighted and yes they spend $400 on this. Nails, waxing, skin care, gym memberships. It’s a fortune to have a teen girl. I say no to hair coloring (ridiculous), but I do hear “everyone does it!” She pays for her own nails. What a world we live in.

Waxing? I get everything else but I didn’t know this was a thing, I say no to the nails because she can just do it herself. Everything else is expensive and has gotten worsen

[Anonymous]

This is a cautionary tale... "start as you intend to continue." Why would a teen need teeth whitening? That seems super unhealthy. My 10 yo asked for drunk elephant and I gave her cetaphil. Problem solved. I also model self love and not buying into the Sephora craze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a cautionary tale... "start as you intend to continue." Why would a teen need teeth whitening? That seems super unhealthy. My 10 yo asked for drunk elephant and I gave her cetaphil. Problem solved. I also model self love and not buying into the Sephora craze.

Thank god you’re here to show the rest of us how to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$350 haircut!!!!!!!!!!

Should I feel shame for my 12 year old’s $500 haircut plus tip? If she had normal hair I wouldn’t have had to do it. She didn’t ask for it, I cared about her grooming. It’s 1,000 times better.

The salons are getting out of control. My other daughter, an arts student, goes to Bumble and Bumble in NYC for about $600 for highlights, cut and blow dry and tip. Everything is priced separately and now a blow dry after a cut is an extra $100. Them charging extra for a blow dry made her start looking for another place. Next they’ll charge extra for “premium shampoo”.

Why does your daughter need highlights? When I was an undergrad and grad student at Columbia I found a listserve of trainee hairdressers and would have my haircut my trainees at high end salons for a $20-40 tip. If you want to set money on fire you can’t complain about setting it on fire.

Do you think any of this is you? Why would you say your daughter’s hair isn’t normal? By normal do you mean not fitting a particular Eurocentric definition of beauty?

Her hair is beautiful thick and shiny so she said she’s looking for a cheaper haircut that includes blow drying. Her haircut is pretty basic and doesn’t need the top expert. She’s like a ot of females and wasn’t happy with her hair color.

My 12 year olds hair is difficult because it’s wild, always snarly, five layers worth, straight and curls all bumbled together and she doesn’t comb it. Maybe you’re right about the Eurocentric definition. Currently she has no White friends. She has a group of about six friends Latina and Black. Her close cousin is Puerto Rican and her best friend is Black. They all know how to do hair or some family members know the best hairstyles and I can’t do anything. I feel bad about that. If I even try something it falls out within an hour. She couldn’t keep it groomed and I couldn’t so I tried something new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

NP. Agree. I am reading this thread with interest. Everyone is shocked at OP’s daughter, but I am hearing the same from my DD. Her friends are getting their hair colored/highlighted and yes they spend $400 on this. Nails, waxing, skin care, gym memberships. It’s a fortune to have a teen girl. I say no to hair coloring (ridiculous), but I do hear “everyone does it!” She pays for her own nails. What a world we live in.

Waxing? I get everything else but I didn’t know this was a thing, I say no to the nails because she can just do it herself. Everything else is expensive and has gotten worsen

I absolutely allow my teen daughters to wax their eyebrows, lip, and any facial that bothers them. We come from very hair stock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$350 haircut!!!!!!!!!!

Should I feel shame for my 12 year old’s $500 haircut plus tip? If she had normal hair I wouldn’t have had to do it. She didn’t ask for it, I cared about her grooming. It’s 1,000 times better.

The salons are getting out of control. My other daughter, an arts student, goes to Bumble and Bumble in NYC for about $600 for highlights, cut and blow dry and tip. Everything is priced separately and now a blow dry after a cut is an extra $100. Them charging extra for a blow dry made her start looking for another place. Next they’ll charge extra for “premium shampoo”.

Yes.

Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are crazy for endorsing it.

She's 16 let her get a job to pay for those things.

We could easily afford that stuff, you want it get a job.

And to all the answers "my kids job is school", yes we agree school comes first but if you raise a well balanced kid they can do both.

Every kid needs to learn how to work for someone.

Thanks for the reply. She has a part time job but doesn’t make nearly enough to pay for all of the stuff listed above (for example, haircuts alone can be like $350). However, she does spend most of her money on these items.

How did she get the idea that her beauty is most important?

+1

My 16yo DD spends most of her money on art supplies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$350 haircut!!!!!!!!!!

Should I feel shame for my 12 year old’s $500 haircut plus tip? If she had normal hair I wouldn’t have had to do it. She didn’t ask for it, I cared about her grooming. It’s 1,000 times better.

The salons are getting out of control. My other daughter, an arts student, goes to Bumble and Bumble in NYC for about $600 for highlights, cut and blow dry and tip. Everything is priced separately and now a blow dry after a cut is an extra $100. Them charging extra for a blow dry made her start looking for another place. Next they’ll charge extra for “premium shampoo”.

Weird post. A $500 haircut for a 12 year old? Yeah, you should maybe feel a little bit shamed—or at least aghast—about that. I don’t even know what you mean by normal hair.

And why does it matter that your other daughter is an arts student? Does she have some crazy asymmetrical purple hairstyle that’s supposed to look punk rock, but actually costs $600?

I do feel bad that I couldn’t accept her hair the way it was and wanted to change it. The other one has blonde hair normal thick straight hair. I said she’s in art because everyone else describes their child. Usually it’s “all As, all APs, sporty” . Problem?

As for OP, when you get highlights, cut, blow dry, maybe specific mask then it adds up to a lot of money. But it’s better than at home highlights which looks like crap.

Whatever hair a person is born with is "normal" hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$350 haircut!!!!!!!!!!

Should I feel shame for my 12 year old’s $500 haircut plus tip? If she had normal hair I wouldn’t have had to do it. She didn’t ask for it, I cared about her grooming. It’s 1,000 times better.

The salons are getting out of control. My other daughter, an arts student, goes to Bumble and Bumble in NYC for about $600 for highlights, cut and blow dry and tip. Everything is priced separately and now a blow dry after a cut is an extra $100. Them charging extra for a blow dry made her start looking for another place. Next they’ll charge extra for “premium shampoo”.

Why does your daughter need highlights? When I was an undergrad and grad student at Columbia I found a listserve of trainee hairdressers and would have my haircut my trainees at high end salons for a $20-40 tip. If you want to set money on fire you can’t complain about setting it on fire.

Do you think any of this is you? Why would you say your daughter’s hair isn’t normal? By normal do you mean not fitting a particular Eurocentric definition of beauty?

Her hair is beautiful thick and shiny so she said she’s looking for a cheaper haircut that includes blow drying. Her haircut is pretty basic and doesn’t need the top expert. She’s like a ot of females and wasn’t happy with her hair color.

My 12 year olds hair is difficult because it’s wild, always snarly, five layers worth, straight and curls all bumbled together and she doesn’t comb it. Maybe you’re right about the Eurocentric definition. Currently she has no White friends. She has a group of about six friends Latina and Black. Her close cousin is Puerto Rican and her best friend is Black. They all know how to do hair or some family members know the best hairstyles and I can’t do anything. I feel bad about that. If I even try something it falls out within an hour. She couldn’t keep it groomed and I couldn’t so I tried something new.

For older daughter, it's fine that she wants to change her hair color, but I don't get why that means you pay for it. That seems very much like a "If you really want it, pay for it yourself, DD" category to me. (I also can't see why anyone would pay $100 for a blowout that will last - at most - a few days.)

For younger daughter it sounds like you and she need to educate yourself about working with textured hair. There are many, many ways to do this that don't involve a $500 haircut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

NP. Agree. I am reading this thread with interest. Everyone is shocked at OP’s daughter, but I am hearing the same from my DD. Her friends are getting their hair colored/highlighted and yes they spend $400 on this. Nails, waxing, skin care, gym memberships. It’s a fortune to have a teen girl. I say no to hair coloring (ridiculous), but I do hear “everyone does it!” She pays for her own nails. What a world we live in.

Waxing? I get everything else but I didn’t know this was a thing, I say no to the nails because she can just do it herself. Everything else is expensive and has gotten worsen

Nothing is wrong with these things individually (especially waxing), but when girls do all of these beauty treatments and habits on top of each other, then it feel like they are living in a bubble of excess and privilege. It’s creating unreasonable expectations and it’s encouraging a vapid approach to life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

NP. Agree. I am reading this thread with interest. Everyone is shocked at OP’s daughter, but I am hearing the same from my DD. Her friends are getting their hair colored/highlighted and yes they spend $400 on this. Nails, waxing, skin care, gym memberships. It’s a fortune to have a teen girl. I say no to hair coloring (ridiculous), but I do hear “everyone does it!” She pays for her own nails. What a world we live in.

Waxing? I get everything else but I didn’t know this was a thing, I say no to the nails because she can just do it herself. Everything else is expensive and has gotten worsen

Really? IMO, this is the most innocent one. It lasts longer than shaving, and you gradually become less hairy.

FTR, I agree that OP’s DD’s habits are too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a cautionary tale... "start as you intend to continue." Why would a teen need teeth whitening? That seems super unhealthy. My 10 yo asked for drunk elephant and I gave her cetaphil. Problem solved. I also model self love and not buying into the Sephora craze.

Thank god you’re here to show the rest of us how to do it.

NP but why so defensive? This is reasonable advice on anything parent related. Hard to unring the bell on what some of you are paying for and enabling. And I do agree if mom is doing it, it's normalized.