Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.

It is absolutely not normal to be exhausted and not be able to shut your brain off for more than an hour to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.

It is absolutely not normal to be exhausted and not be able to shut your brain off for more than an hour to sleep.

I had this problem. It was like adrenaline was pumping and my mind was constantly on. I couldn’t relax enough to sleep, eat, or sit still. I was 106 pounds at my six week checkup and the doctor had absolutely nothing to ask/say. It was my first and I felt like it was normal. I have another now and I know it was PPA. I didn’t treat it but I should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.

It is absolutely not normal to be exhausted and not be able to shut your brain off for more than an hour to sleep.

I had this problem. It was like adrenaline was pumping and my mind was constantly on. I couldn’t relax enough to sleep, eat, or sit still. I was 106 pounds at my six week checkup and the doctor had absolutely nothing to ask/say. It was my first and I felt like it was normal. I have another now and I know it was PPA. I didn’t treat it but I should have.

OP again. I believe this is my issue. I have lifelong horrible anxiety. I have been checked out and I’m physically fine (will get thyroid checked next week).

Blood pressure fine. No temperature. Heart rate a little elevated but fine. Not anemic.

I think it’s just non-stop adrenaline making me unable to sleep. I’ve upped my medication dose but it takes time to work.

This level of sleep deprivation is just brutal on my physical and mental health. I’m 10 days postpartum and due to nausea I’m back at pre-pregnancy weight.

That’s why I’m afraid I’ll die. But that’s probably anxiety too. My entire pregnancy I was convinced by baby would die inside me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.

Even if it is anxiety, if she is getting literally 1 hour a sleep at a time she could kick into post partum psychosis

Can and WILL. This happened to me after 3 months of surviving on 1-2 broken hours of sleep per night. Almost went Lindsay Clancy on myself and baby and tried to take my husband into surrendering baby at a fire station.

In these situations, why don’t you just let the baby cry a bit? I get tending to a one month old every 2 hours. But at a certain point you have to stop that. Babies cry, it’s what they do. A baby going 4-5 hours in a crib is preferable to a mother about to commit suicide.

This nonstop obsessive parenting is newish and terrible for women. It wasn’t possible for women decades or centuries ago to be up all hours of the night. Mothers being up all night for older babies seems to coincidentally be women who don’t have other children and are at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of us breast-fed, who are responding to you. You will still have a good breast-feeding relationship if you introduce a bottle. It is really hard when your body won’t let you sleep, but if someone can give over to taking care of baby overnight, that would be really helpful. It’s important that that is a shared activity (yes, even if your wife works during the day). You need sleep to heal. You need sleep to heal. You need sleep to heal. You need sleep to heal.

Agree with this. Is your wife a morning person or night person? If she's a night person she gets to have the baby from 7pm to midnight. If the baby has regained birthway s/he can last one 5 hour span. You put in ear plugs, white noise, take a rapid dissolve benadryl. The baby can cluster feed on a bottle. Baby needs to learn night and day so don't give baby prime boobie all night. The solution to every fussy baby problem is not your boob, at least not for those 5 hours. You will feel waaaay better if you can string together a couple of REM cycles.

This. No one is forcing mothers to stay up all night with a baby. This is YOUR choice.

[Anonymous]

Echoing PP who suggested looking into D-MER if your difficulties seems to correspond with breastfeeding/let-down.

It's very real and involves a dopamine crash--an additional medication to boost dopamine might be helpful here but talk with your doctor about that.

Agree that formula feeding for now might alleviate some pressure.

[Anonymous]

I had that adrenaline thing too. Your nervous system needs a reset. And sleep. Acupuncture, followed by sleeping medication if you’re not into that. Wife and mom need to take 100% care of child minus when you’re feeding. Including giving bottles or helping with combo feeding (all cleaning of all the things). Have meals brought to you, eat all the snacks, drink more water than you think you need.

You need to stay in bed for a few days awake or not minus appointments, restroom, bathing. The first month post partum is how you heal.

It’s awful and I’m sorry to be bossy. Not resting now can cause longer healing times for everything.

Soon please go get a massage or have a massage therapist come to you. There are brilliant postpartum bodyworkers in our area. It will help your body understand how to move out of a sympathetic nervous system state (fight or flight) into a restorative one (rest - parasympathetic). Craniosacral therapy can help too.

It’s so hard. I’ve been there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This nonstop obsessive parenting is newish and terrible for women. It wasn’t possible for women decades or centuries ago to be up all hours of the night. Mothers being up all night for older babies seems to coincidentally be women who don’t have other children and are at home.

+10000000000000000000000000

It's so harmful and unrealistic for mothers. We are literally driving women crazy because it's the safest option. LOL, safe for who?

By the time I was on my third kid, I had the confidence to ignore all that. Took precautions, but he slept with me. He would stir to breastfeed and I would go right back to sleep as would he.

It was absolutely the best postpartum experience I had.

By 2 months, swaddling worked much better and then we did gentle sleep training at 4 months. So not long-term.

OP, wishing your peace. Hope your meds kick in soon. It takes time for the hypervigilance to subside, but it will for sure. Anxiety is cyclical for everyone. I'll be thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

Take some sleep aids and get some sleep. I cleared it with my doctor, and took sleep aids off and on throughout my first year while breastfeeding. Ask your doctor which ones are safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.

It is absolutely not normal to be exhausted and not be able to shut your brain off for more than an hour to sleep.

I had this problem. It was like adrenaline was pumping and my mind was constantly on. I couldn’t relax enough to sleep, eat, or sit still. I was 106 pounds at my six week checkup and the doctor had absolutely nothing to ask/say. It was my first and I felt like it was normal. I have another now and I know it was PPA. I didn’t treat it but I should have.

100% this!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing about breast feeding (that I learned the hard way) is that the first time you get that long stretch of sleep, your boobs are going to get full and they might wake you up. But don't let that discourage you from trying to get more sleep at night. Your milk production will adjust, but you need to give it time.

Wearing a soft bra and sleeping on my back helped with this but it still happened for sure

[Anonymous]

I’d recommend getting a hotel room and trying to sleep. I tried out getting sitters during maternity leave so I could nap, but hearing baby noises in the house was so distracting and would make me anxious.

A nice steamy hotel shower and falling into some lush white hotel bedding could help.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that it gets better. My first baby was thin and ran me ragged breastfeeding around the clock. It got to a point where I couldn’t drive because I couldn’t make left hand turns. I also wasn’t coherent when people talked to me. By 8 weeks everything got better (5 hour stretches) and by 12 weeks she slept 12-7am.

It takes 3 months of getting 8 hours of sleep a night for me to feel normal. I had to take unisom sleep tabs because I couldn’t sleep finally when the baby sttn. I was so used to broken sleep.

My 2nd and 3rd babies were 8 and 9lbs and they slept like champs. They also breastfed better. I think it’s just hardest with your first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.

It is absolutely not normal to be exhausted and not be able to shut your brain off for more than an hour to sleep.

I had this problem. It was like adrenaline was pumping and my mind was constantly on. I couldn’t relax enough to sleep, eat, or sit still. I was 106 pounds at my six week checkup and the doctor had absolutely nothing to ask/say. It was my first and I felt like it was normal. I have another now and I know it was PPA. I didn’t treat it but I should have.

OP again. I believe this is my issue. I have lifelong horrible anxiety. I have been checked out and I’m physically fine (will get thyroid checked next week).

Blood pressure fine. No temperature. Heart rate a little elevated but fine. Not anemic.

I think it’s just non-stop adrenaline making me unable to sleep. I’ve upped my medication dose but it takes time to work.

This level of sleep deprivation is just brutal on my physical and mental health. I’m 10 days postpartum and due to nausea I’m back at pre-pregnancy weight.

That’s why I’m afraid I’ll die. But that’s probably anxiety too. My entire pregnancy I was convinced by baby would die inside me.

You need something like zopiclone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.

Even if it is anxiety, if she is getting literally 1 hour a sleep at a time she could kick into post partum psychosis

Can and WILL. This happened to me after 3 months of surviving on 1-2 broken hours of sleep per night. Almost went Lindsay Clancy on myself and baby and tried to take my husband into surrendering baby at a fire station.

In these situations, why don’t you just let the baby cry a bit? I get tending to a one month old every 2 hours. But at a certain point you have to stop that. Babies cry, it’s what they do. A baby going 4-5 hours in a crib is preferable to a mother about to commit suicide.

This nonstop obsessive parenting is newish and terrible for women. It wasn’t possible for women decades or centuries ago to be up all hours of the night. Mothers being up all night for older babies seems to coincidentally be women who don’t have other children and are at home.

Once you are so far gone you stop thinking rationally. This is one of many reasons why the post partum floor of many hospitals are hideously cruel and even dangerous in they way they routinely torture new mothers with sleep deprivation