Can you ever really forget someone you once loved?

[Anonymous]

Wow so it sounds like women have a harder time forgetting past loves.

[Anonymous]

It also feels like a cheap and harmless thrill. And it’s a little drama, which sometimes is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow so it sounds like women have a harder time forgetting past loves.

It’s hard to find a man with everything. So sometimes I pine after one trait or another … held by different boyfriends. A certain gaze, an athletic feat, some accomplishment or achievement. Remembering the guys and those moments is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow so it sounds like women have a harder time forgetting past loves.

This site skews towards more women so you’re likely to get mostly women responses.

[Anonymous]

You can but I choose not to.

[Anonymous]

Do people usually forget major parts of their lives?
I don't have dementia yet, so yes I remember past loves. My grandfather died when was 7 and I still remember him. Of course I remember someone I spent months or years with as a major presence in my life.

[Anonymous]

I can't remember everyone I've dated or fooled around with over those 2 active decades before I was married.

[Anonymous]

Only in dreams, I can't pinr away for someone who loved me when I was 20. Its not healthy and I have a marriage to focus on. But in dreams it all comes back and I'm 20 again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people usually forget major parts of their lives?
I don't have dementia yet, so yes I remember past loves. My grandfather died when was 7 and I still remember him. Of course I remember someone I spent months or years with as a major presence in my life.

I know, right? I remember the boyfriend I had for two weeks in the eighth grade! I also remember all the classes I ever got bad grades in, and the times I got amazing sleep, and what I ate on the best dates I ever had. I think people who forget the loves of their lives must have terrible memories.

I’ll add that when I think back to these guys I was so in love with, it’s not with fond nostalgia. I cringe when I think of them. They were great guys but there is a reason that I *loved* them, past tense.

[Anonymous]

I was ghosted by someone I dated for almost two years. She just upped and left. Got a text and blocked.

I was really in love with her...like I thought she was the one. I was devastated and broken for months. It was the worst pain I ever felt. We didn't argue, I never raised my voice to her and I would melt every time she looked at me, I loved her eyes. I planned 99% of our dates, tried to be thoughtful even to the point I'd leave little chocolates in her lunch she took to work. I cooked her dinner, I helped her landscape her yard more than once, gave her everything I had in my heart.

Unfortunately, I will always remember that. I honestly wish I never had met her. Because of that no woman will ever get the full "me", I can't let myself be hurt like that ever again.

[Anonymous]

I don’t forget, but they are forgettable. I remember them but not much to remember. It ended for a reason. They were jerks. Not really worth my time remembering.

[Anonymous]

… if I lived till I was a hundred and two..I just don't think...

[Anonymous]

No, but sometimes I think about him and I’m glad we didn’t end up together. I realize it would never have worked out long term. I guess I got over it, wouldn’t change it.

[Anonymous]

I go through periods of not thinking about them and then there's always something there that reminds me.

[Anonymous]

I thought about him off and on until I got a divorce.
My divorce taught me a lot about myself and one of the things I learned was that no relationship was ever going to work out because I was a bad picker. My upbringing conditioned me to being treated poorly and that would have manifested in any relationship I was in.
It was very liberating to understand this and I no longer think about him.
And I do think more graciously of my ex. It really helps to own our own shortcomings.