What kind of relationship includes a text like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my issue is that despite the please and thank you, it seems like an order, not a request. But based on your replies I guess I am wrong.

It does sound like an order, yes.

I would not want to have sex with a person who texts me in this way. And that is what it boils down to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO if it is between 2 people in a relationship it could be less formal and demanding.

"Good morning! Can you please take the bins...

...Thank you and love you"

Or some such. I would not send a text like that nor would I want to get one like that from my SO.

I wrote the above and want to correct myself.

I could see myself sending this text to my exh during the last few years of our marriage when I was sick of doing everything and he was oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the text is rude. So much tone is lost with text messages that the sender needs to be careful and usually needs to overcorrect. Sometimes just an exclamation point or two helps. Silly but if you're going to communicate via text with loves ones, you need to do it well.

"Please get the trash/recycle out to the curb! There's also a trash can behind the shed tjat jas grass clipplings that needs to go to the curb!!
Thank you"

much better

[Anonymous]

please get or can you please are both rude. unless you were supposed to do it (took responsibility for it) and didn't I would be annoyed,

I would try to say - Hey I had to leave early and didn't have time to do xyz, do you mind ....

that way if the other person also doesn't have time it is not their sole fault the chore didn't get done, neither partner had the time to do it and it is a joint failure

[Anonymous]

I don't see anything wrong with it. This seems like a totally acceptable text between two people who live in the same house and share household duties. You're really stretching to find some sort of slight in this. He even said please and thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what type of relationship is this either a normal text? Received at 6 am.

"Please get the trash/recycle out to the curb. There's also a trash can behind the shed tjat jas grass clipplings that needs to go to the curb.
Thank you"

Is it normal between husband and wife? Parent to child? Roomates? Boss to restaurant worker?
Does your opinion change if it's a female sending or a male sending?
Does your opinion change if the sender was near/next to the trash cans when sending this text?
Do you have an opinion about texting someone at 6 am?

Thanks.

Err...sounds like a reminder. What's wrong with it?

[Anonymous]

Are you very sensitive? Is this a new relationship?

You should probably sit down and talk with them. Be open, though, to hearing them, and why they sent it the way they did. If this text bothers you, there are likely underlying issues related to communication, communication style, household responsibilities and how they’ve been handled to date, etc.

[Anonymous]

I leave the house at 6:30 am and have sent a quick text like "please sign the papers on the counter and make sure DD puts them in her backpack."

I don't have great cell service at work so I would send that as I remembered from a red light or the parking lot on my way into the building. Other pleasantries aren't needed. It's doesn't need to be "Hi honey buns, I am so sorry I forgot the papers for school. I'd love you forever if you did it for me! Have a good day! Kisses!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what type of relationship is this either a normal text? Received at 6 am.

"Please get the trash/recycle out to the curb. There's also a trash can behind the shed tjat jas grass clipplings that needs to go to the curb.
Thank you"

Is it normal between husband and wife? Parent to child? Roomates? Boss to restaurant worker?
Does your opinion change if it's a female sending or a male sending?
Does your opinion change if the sender was near/next to the trash cans when sending this text?
Do you have an opinion about texting someone at 6 am?

Thanks.

I’d be concerned their phone’s h button is broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I leave the house at 6:30 am and have sent a quick text like "please sign the papers on the counter and make sure DD puts them in her backpack."

I don't have great cell service at work so I would send that as I remembered from a red light or the parking lot on my way into the building. Other pleasantries aren't needed. It's doesn't need to be "Hi honey buns, I am so sorry I forgot the papers for school. I'd love you forever if you did it for me! Have a good day! Kisses!"

Anyone who has kids and shares responsibilities does this most days. There are just too many tasks to think hard about them beyond just remembering the task itself. OP should not have kids. Or they will have kids and no one will sign the papers because they will just sit in silence feeling like it would be better to just say nothing.

[Anonymous]

OP I agree it is impolite I would not use that tone with DW nor she with me.

Basic politeness doesn’t require schmoopy language. How about “Good morning. Could you please [x]. Thanks and good luck with your big meeting!”

It’s a shame how many people never learned basic social communication skills.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is rude or impolite, it just sounds more formal than most text requests between spouses.

However without knowing the dynamic or communication styles etc - the formality may be par for the course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree it is impolite I would not use that tone with DW nor she with me.

Basic politeness doesn’t require schmoopy language. How about “Good morning. Could you please [x]. Thanks and good luck with your big meeting!”

It’s a shame how many people never learned basic social communication skills.

But texting doesn't need formalities. Especially with a partner. I already said good morning when I woke up. And good bye I love you when I left the house. So if I text again a little while late I don't need a good morning. I just saw them and I'm going to see them again in a few hours.

[Anonymous]

Only parent to child if taking the cans out is the child's chore. and even then I would never send my child a text so full of typos, I would edit it first. Trying to set an example here.

[Anonymous]

First off, while I understand you and your boss think alike and have a connection, there is no way in this day-in-age he will risk his entire career and livelihood over a sexual connection. (And if he does -- what a fool!!) To even try to explore that is a terrible idea.

However, don't dismiss your feelings, explore what is behind them. Raising a young child is hard, and communication is so important.

The answer is simple, if you love your husband find a good therapist and discuss this issues in a safe environment.

Good luck!