Men who steal women’s fertility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Sorry this happened to you…
I wanted to ask why you waited until your 30s to try IVF
-DP

My husband kept giving false promises of going to counseling and I believed him (I was naive) and wanted to have kids the natural way. Eventually when that did not work out my parents convinced me to stay and go the IVF route to prevent me from bringing a bad rep to the family.

I should have gotten out in my 20s but here I am, a shell of my past self, an angry bitter old woman.

How old are you now?

[Anonymous]

Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Sorry this happened to you…
I wanted to ask why you waited until your 30s to try IVF
-DP

My husband kept giving false promises of going to counseling and I believed him (I was naive) and wanted to have kids the natural way. Eventually when that did not work out my parents convinced me to stay and go the IVF route to prevent me from bringing a bad rep to the family.

I should have gotten out in my 20s but here I am, a shell of my past self, an angry bitter old woman.

How old are you now?

"You wear the chains you forge in life"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Sorry this happened to you…
I wanted to ask why you waited until your 30s to try IVF
-DP

My husband kept giving false promises of going to counseling and I believed him (I was naive) and wanted to have kids the natural way. Eventually when that did not work out my parents convinced me to stay and go the IVF route to prevent me from bringing a bad rep to the family.

I should have gotten out in my 20s but here I am, a shell of my past self, an angry bitter old woman.

How old are you now?

close to being a senior citizen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is women have right to divorce these men and move on, freeze embryos etc but they chose to stay in these fruitless pointless marriages. So it's the women mistake just as much as his avoidance of commitment to her

+1 No one is 'stealing' anyone's fertility. There are many ways to become a mother.

How is freezing the embryo of your ex husband a solution to infertility? And what other ways? Don’t say adoption, which is not a solution to infertility.

No one is reaching into a woman's abdomen and taking her reproductive organs. Infertility is a medical condition. If a woman is infertile, then she must adopt if she wants to be a mother. If she chooses not to adopt, well, she didn't really want to be a mother, she wanted to demonstrate her fertility.

As an adoptee and adoptive mother, you have a very simplistic view of adoption. It shouldn’t be treated as an easy solution to wanting to be a mother. Adoption is complicated for all parties involved.

[Anonymous]

I feel like we live in a society these days where woman are endlessly blaming men. Many women, I believe, had opportunities before even say 35 to have kids and settle with good men. But all I hear is about men that are not good enough, men that are not present, men that refuse therapy, the list goes on and on. I don't know its just feel like these days its all about men not doing something right...

[Anonymous]

I married at 27. My husband told me he wanted kids and a family. We kept talking about kids and even had names picked out. Then we turn 30, I ask him about kids and he says he cannot afford any kids right now. The years go by as I wait for us to make enough money. Now I’m 35 and he refuses to have sex with me enough for us to get pregnant. I told him he doesn’t want kids and he insists he does. I definitely feel like he stole my prime child bearing years as I kept thinking next year we will have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like we live in a society these days where woman are endlessly blaming men. Many women, I believe, had opportunities before even say 35 to have kids and settle with good men. But all I hear is about men that are not good enough, men that are not present, men that refuse therapy, the list goes on and on. I don't know its just feel like these days its all about men not doing something right...

That's a perception. Women are far more independent today. Traditionally roles are changing and gender equality is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married at 27. My husband told me he wanted kids and a family. We kept talking about kids and even had names picked out. Then we turn 30, I ask him about kids and he says he cannot afford any kids right now. The years go by as I wait for us to make enough money. Now I’m 35 and he refuses to have sex with me enough for us to get pregnant. I told him he doesn’t want kids and he insists he does. I definitely feel like he stole my prime child bearing years as I kept thinking next year we will have a baby.

You need to get on this now if you want your own biological child. Under 35 is a woman's prime child bearing years for most women (sure there are people who conceive 35-40 too but its not the most fertile years). From what the fertility specialist told me, it depends on when you got your period. Your fertile period lasts around 20 years from onset of first period. After that your egg quality diminishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Sorry this happened to you…
I wanted to ask why you waited until your 30s to try IVF
-DP

My husband kept giving false promises of going to counseling and I believed him (I was naive) and wanted to have kids the natural way. Eventually when that did not work out my parents convinced me to stay and go the IVF route to prevent me from bringing a bad rep to the family.

I should have gotten out in my 20s but here I am, a shell of my past self, an angry bitter old woman.

How old are you ? I am 44 and have one HS aged child. My exH dragged a second baby, and we divorced. I just started a journey for my second child. The issue us that after 42 90% of eggs have genetic mutations (which is why even if pregnancy happens most women miscarry). I still will spend around $40k on trying to get at least one viable embryo and transfer it to a surrogate mother. I will pay up to $200k for all treatments and the US surrogate. But to me it’s well worth it, to devote a small percentage of my $3.5mm net worth to have a blood relative as I age. I really want my genes in my baby as I have great family history with high achievers. But the family is slowly dying off with very few babies born in each generation.

I just don’t buy stories from women of huge wealth like Anniston they have all resources available to reach their goals.

You still have a chance for a fully donor baby from Mexico if that helps. I might adopt if my plan doesn’t work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

How old are you? Maybe you can freeze eggs (although there is no guarantee that would work either) or just run now if you are still young.

My AH husband and family stole my fertility - arranged marriage in early 20s. Husband is asexual, couldn't divorce due to cultural beliefs and parental pressure even though we are not compatible in anything. Tried IVFs in early 30's but found out my egg supply diminished early and my only option was egg donor. So I lost the chance to have my own biological kid because I stayed in a shitty sexless marriage. I've become a very bitter person since I was raised to stay and suffocate and that family honor was important. Now I am always depressed. Still married to a guy I hate.

I hope hearing this would help you.

Sorry this happened to you…
I wanted to ask why you waited until your 30s to try IVF
-DP

My husband kept giving false promises of going to counseling and I believed him (I was naive) and wanted to have kids the natural way. Eventually when that did not work out my parents convinced me to stay and go the IVF route to prevent me from bringing a bad rep to the family.

I should have gotten out in my 20s but here I am, a shell of my past self, an angry bitter old woman.

How old are you now?

close to being a senior citizen

I know a woman who adopted at 50. She’s very happy, loves her baby girls and cries when she talks how she could have missed it all in her life ! You do need to at least make calls and get intros with agencies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.