Cons of private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No mandate to innovate. Many teachers using approaches and texts that my grandmother probably used. In public school, compared to my DC's private school in grades 4-5, there's more groupwork, more independent work, more emphasis on writing in different genres, more rote work, and less feedback on written work than what my child is getting at private school. I'm shocked that with all that money for PD and such small classes to teach, there's so little innovation. Maybe this is just the one school--I certainly hope I am wrong and am wondering if our choice was the right one.

Our private school is the same, and I see it as a positive. Math hasn't changed much in the last 50 years, and neither did grammar.

[Anonymous]

I really can't think of any negatives vis-a-vis the public schools. Aside from cost of course.

[Anonymous]

I can't think of many negatives, besides the cost of course. Maybe the amount of classes they can choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WOW. I just want to thank OP for posing this critical question, and likewise thank responders for their candor. My DC is in a public MS and we are preparing to apply to privates. I'll say that this thread has (frighteningly) confirmed my fears. I'm no longer clear nor confident about what the best path.

DC is an outstanding student (gifted program, straight As, taking advanced classes, etc) but is shy and reserved. I am primarily concerned about the favoritism and gatekeeping wrt academic opportunities potentially being reserved for the donor/wealthy kids. We are URM in a nearly all-white school district in MD but have loved the teachers, staff, and students alike. Everyone has been lovely! My sole gripe is the large, and still swelling, class sizes that have led to overcrowding. My additional reasons mirror those on this thread, which posters have come to learn are fallacies.

DC has been raised to remain disciplined and hard-working, which should yield her desired academic results. Our concept of fairness would require sharp revision at a private, where it is applied with varying metrics for the wealthy kids vs FA and/or URM kids. The prevalence of bad behavior, and the acceptance of such (based on the students' category), is yet another layer. Lastly, DC heavily relies on school for socializing and friendship.
I began this year with the highest confidence about going private, only to now realize the scales are far more leveled than I had presumed.

You really can’t generalize. It depends on the exact schools. There are plenty of private schools that don’t tolerate bad behavior and plenty of public schools with horrific discipline problems. But I don’t understand why you would leave public if it seems to be working so well for you. I would never have moved my kids out of public school if they worked well. Your kid seems to be thriving. Why would you switch?

My one piece of advice besides “compare exact schools” is that being in advanced classes may not be as much of a differential as you think. My kid was getting straight As in the highest math class at his public middle and barely tested into mid-tier math when he did the entrance exam for the private high school. He was much weaker in math than we had been led to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a private school parent, what are the cons of being at a private school? Aside from money Either something you knew going in, or something that surprised you? (Specifically interested in high school/middle school experience, but lower school info good too.) Thanks!

Mean Parents is a con

[Anonymous]

small class girl cliques. Really regret it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOW. I just want to thank OP for posing this critical question, and likewise thank responders for their candor. My DC is in a public MS and we are preparing to apply to privates. I'll say that this thread has (frighteningly) confirmed my fears. I'm no longer clear nor confident about what the best path.

DC is an outstanding student (gifted program, straight As, taking advanced classes, etc) but is shy and reserved. I am primarily concerned about the favoritism and gatekeeping wrt academic opportunities potentially being reserved for the donor/wealthy kids. We are URM in a nearly all-white school district in MD but have loved the teachers, staff, and students alike. Everyone has been lovely! My sole gripe is the large, and still swelling, class sizes that have led to overcrowding. My additional reasons mirror those on this thread, which posters have come to learn are fallacies.

DC has been raised to remain disciplined and hard-working, which should yield her desired academic results. Our concept of fairness would require sharp revision at a private, where it is applied with varying metrics for the wealthy kids vs FA and/or URM kids. The prevalence of bad behavior, and the acceptance of such (based on the students' category), is yet another layer. Lastly, DC heavily relies on school for socializing and friendship.
I began this year with the highest confidence about going private, only to now realize the scales are far more leveled than I had presumed.

You really can’t generalize. It depends on the exact schools. There are plenty of private schools that don’t tolerate bad behavior and plenty of public schools with horrific discipline problems. But I don’t understand why you would leave public if it seems to be working so well for you. I would never have moved my kids out of public school if they worked well. Your kid seems to be thriving. Why would you switch?

My one piece of advice besides “compare exact schools” is that being in advanced classes may not be as much of a differential as you think. My kid was getting straight As in the highest math class at his public middle and barely tested into mid-tier math when he did the entrance exam for the private high school. He was much weaker in math than we had been led to believe.

Thank you for this advice! DC's public school is over max capacity and still growing. Classes can now have 40 kids! That is far too many; DC can struggle to concentrate when small groups become loud/disruptive. There is also a true disconnect, at times, between teachers and students as they cannot establish the ideal type of relationship with that many kids. My other reasons, again, are possibly fallacies per this thread. I agree that an exact comparison will be necessary, but that can only occur if/when accepted and shadow opportunities are granted (along with talking to current families). It will be a tough decision for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to private (secular day school) and public in another part of the country. I remember every one of my private school teachers - they were uniformly great, and almost always much better than the ones I had in public school.

And on the other hand, the kids in the honors classes at my public school have done as well -- and in many cases significantly better -- than the private school kids. I think there is so much to be said for the social aspect of public school. Dealing with the real world, less coddling, more economic diversity - so many ways to build life skills that help a person get along in life. The small, if respected, private school really fell short in this area.

+100

This, all the way. We just left our private school because the social options were so limited, kids were too coddled, very little discipline and lots of unmotivated kids that weren't going anywhere because mommy and daddy were paying tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thread is straying from OP’s original Q to comparing private to public. As usual.

Cons of our kids private: long commute, cost, limited extracurriculars.

Yes, please stick to the original question. No-one asked for a comparison or for you to come into this thread and tell us why you love your private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:small class girl cliques. Really regret it

yup

[Anonymous]

Would be sort of helpful if people would be willing to identify their school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would be sort of helpful if people would be willing to identify their school.

The only time people ID their school is to praise it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would be sort of helpful if people would be willing to identify their school.

THIS. It really would!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:small class girl cliques. Really regret it

yup

NCS? Holton Arms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would be sort of helpful if people would be willing to identify their school.

This would not help you as much as you think. For one thing, people can have widely divergent experiences at the same school. Second of all, a lot really depends on the individual kid.