College sticker shock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate that people have given their pearls of wisdom here. Hope that this is something that will help other parents.

We are not eligible for merit aid or any kind of need based scholarship - solely based on HHI. We can pay the amount but it will undoubtedly will pinch a whole lot. Of course, this is no excuse. Parents like myself may become disengaged with the financial aid process if we are told "you make too much to qualify".

But, another side to it was that we should have absolutely tried to understand if a) there were other ways to get grants and exemptions and b) if the cost of an elite college was worth it for a particular major.

We are older parents, a handful of years away from retirement, and all the kids have not launched fully (working, studying...not married). Our older two kids went through state flagship. Full tuition, merit aid. I paid for room and board. They are very good and hardworking students and did fairly well. In some ways, we became used to not paying for college as a big ticket expense.

My youngest is a student who does well effortlessly and has been exceling throughout. Older siblings are immensely proud of him and they were adamant that he should apply to the BEST and highest ranked school for his major. I was pretty removed from the whole process. In all honesty, I was asked by the kids if we could afford, and I said "sure". I guess once you leave your in-state public schools then everything becomes very expensive. I knew it, and yet, I did not know it.

My focus was pretty much on the admission process and keeping sane during a COVID admissions process which was like a game of Russian roulette.

Now that you have decided you really don't want to pay, you should have your kid moved to the RD round. It's unethical to try to get the ED advantage and then back out as you now know the cost and the rules.

What? I am confused - how can it be unethical if there is no possible way you can back out from ED? Also, how can you get the ED advantage if you don't go to the school for some reason? Won't there be "no ED advantage" if you don't take admission or get admission??

[Anonymous]

Many schools have not issued Early Decision decisions yet, and won't until the end of the week (or later). Have your kid call AND email the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING that he has had a sudden change of circumstances and he needs his application moved to Regular Decision.

Your kid should send the email to the general email address for the admissions office AND the admissions officer for his high school/state/region (you can find that person's info online -- most places have this public) and CC you (parent email) and his school counselor on the email. Problem could potentially be solved as long as he does this ASAP, depending on school. And yes, your child should be the one doing this. Make sure the subject line is clear about the change to regular decision. Tell your kid to include their full name, DOB, and HS name in their email.

Also have your child CALL the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING to ask for the same.

Schools don't want to admit kids in ED who are definitively not coming; if they can still do so operationally, they will change the round. Your kid's window of opportunity here is very short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many schools have not issued Early Decision decisions yet, and won't until the end of the week (or later). Have your kid call AND email the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING that he has had a sudden change of circumstances and he needs his application moved to Regular Decision.

Your kid should send the email to the general email address for the admissions office AND the admissions officer for his high school/state/region (you can find that person's info online -- most places have this public) and CC you (parent email) and his school counselor on the email. Problem could potentially be solved as long as he does this ASAP, depending on school. And yes, your child should be the one doing this. Make sure the subject line is clear about the change to regular decision. Tell your kid to include their full name, DOB, and HS name in their email.

Also have your child CALL the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING to ask for the same.

Schools don't want to admit kids in ED who are definitively not coming; if they can still do so operationally, they will change the round. Your kid's window of opportunity here is very short.

DO THIS, OP.

Personally I don't understand how a parent could sign the ED contract without recognizing what it entailed. No one wants to pay full freight - and some of us have sacrificed for 18 years in order to give our kid this (possible) advantage of being able to choose his school without financial constraints. Especially since you have older kids, you have no excuse for not understanding the process, and your explanation seems oddly detached.

But now it's past time to take ownership of the decisions that affect your kid's future and your bank account. In the end, it would be generous for a college to release you from the ED agreement - since your circumstances haven't *really* changed, you just don't want to pay your kid's tuition - but they're likely to do so as long as you get to them before decisions are finalized. Oh, and be prepared for your kid to be rejected in the RD round as well.

[Anonymous]

This is why flagship state schools are becoming more and more competitive every year. Very few people have the funds to pay 80k per year- speaking as a person from a family that makes 300k per year. Technically, we could afford it.

[Anonymous]

PP again but I don’t see the value proposition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why flagship state schools are becoming more and more competitive every year. Very few people have the funds to pay 80k per year- speaking as a person from a family that makes 300k per year. Technically, we could afford it.

Which schools are becoming less competitive because of cost?

Certainly none with rankings in the top 300 or so, right? I admit I have not researched this and may be wrong but in general it appears true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why flagship state schools are becoming more and more competitive every year. Very few people have the funds to pay 80k per year- speaking as a person from a family that makes 300k per year. Technically, we could afford it.

+1. Both of our kids went in-state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many schools have not issued Early Decision decisions yet, and won't until the end of the week (or later). Have your kid call AND email the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING that he has had a sudden change of circumstances and he needs his application moved to Regular Decision.

Your kid should send the email to the general email address for the admissions office AND the admissions officer for his high school/state/region (you can find that person's info online -- most places have this public) and CC you (parent email) and his school counselor on the email. Problem could potentially be solved as long as he does this ASAP, depending on school. And yes, your child should be the one doing this. Make sure the subject line is clear about the change to regular decision. Tell your kid to include their full name, DOB, and HS name in their email.

Also have your child CALL the admissions office on MONDAY MORNING to ask for the same.

Schools don't want to admit kids in ED who are definitively not coming; if they can still do so operationally, they will change the round. Your kid's window of opportunity here is very short.

+1. This is the perfect answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you applied binding early decision, did not seek financial aid, and can't afford it, an acceptance will be binding. In addition, other schools will know that you reneged and will not accept you. If you can't afford to attend without aid, you should not be applying early decision, but should ask to be moved to the regular decision pool.

Is this true? I've heard it, but what do they do, put your name on an email blast?

We heard from college counselor that the schools have access to shared information, at least on Common App. A student who applies ED and seeks financial aid, but doesn't get a package they can afford, is generally allowed to withdraw from the binding ED obligation and reapply. But a student who simply changes their mind, or who expected some merit aid (unreasonably) and didn't get any, should not.

This is true but I'd add in one tweak. If you apply ED and seek financial aid and don't get it you don't get automatically out of the agreement if the NPC on the college's page said that you could expect zero in merit and zero in financial aid. Otherwise, everyone would try to buck the system by applying ED and then, if the student changed his or her mind about the college, say "well the EFC says . . .". The NPC takes into account the FAFSA and CSS results. That's why someone wisely said a few pages back to take a screenshot of the NPC.

For most people in the DMV area, the chances of getting a low percentage of EFC is close to nil (we make too much money or have investments or houses). We got 100% EFC and no merit so were full pay all the way.

Do you really think a college would fight you, block you from other options and risk losing a subsequent lawsuit with massive damages (from blocking other options)? An ED admit isn't worth it to them

You are discounting the problem of the high school college counselor whose job it was to get OP and daughter to sign the ED application which clearly lays out OP’s obligation. She or he loses credibility if OP suddenly says “oh we changed our mind”. That’s not how ED works. Many counselors will say “forget it -I got you in to your ED and not helping you further “. That means no more college applications. You need your high school counselor on your side, not furious at you, because you checked out. The counselor is the one who sends the transcripts, the class profile and her own letter of recommendation ( at least in Virginia for VA schools). They are the ones who check off the most rigorous box. OP needs to go see their counselor stat and explain the situation before the ED is accepted. BTW not only does she have a counselor problem but she has a student cohort problem because these kids all talk to one another about SCEA, REA and ED applications. They know the rules about ED. How is DC going to change her mind without everyone talking about it? And because of money? The poor kid will be humiliated. And yes the schools do compare notes -especially amongst the college representatives for a certain area. They know each other and often travel together. If OP’s kid is a high flyer the ED school will hear she has applied (if the high school counselor allows it) to a RD school and say “Hey! We already accepted her ED!” and then your name is mud. And so is your high school and the high school counselor’s name.

What colleges do is to place the HS from where the student came from on a blacklist. They will not accept students from that HS GOING FORWARD. This is why HS counsellors are furious at those who break the agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why flagship state schools are becoming more and more competitive every year. Very few people have the funds to pay 80k per year- speaking as a person from a family that makes 300k per year. Technically, we could afford it.

Which schools are becoming less competitive because of cost?

Certainly none with rankings in the top 300 or so, right? I admit I have not researched this and may be wrong but in general it appears true.

Franklin & Marshall for us.

They are a strong school...but when they eliminated merit aid, with such a high price tag, we turned our attention to their many competitors.

[Anonymous]

What about your kid? If you break the ED agreement, there will be ramifications in your relationship with your kid.

[Anonymous]

I have a hard time believing colleges will blacklist an entire high school due to one family breeching its contract.

Of course if there is a pattern at one school, that would be different.

Colleges know that counsellors cannot control parents--especially some of the ilk that favor private schools. (I am not saying that is the norm, but my friend taught at one such school, and some of the most famous/rich parents are an absolute nightmare!!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about your kid? If you break the ED agreement, there will be ramifications in your relationship with your kid.

Good point. They are not only breaking a commitment made to the college.

This post is sad.

Talk about checked out parenting.

Sounds like the latter kids got the leftovers,when it came to attention.

Or else the dad controls the purse strings, and suddenly woke up and is imposing his edict??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time believing colleges will blacklist an entire high school due to one family breeching its contract.

Of course if there is a pattern at one school, that would be different.

Colleges know that counsellors cannot control parents--especially some of the ilk that favor private schools. (I am not saying that is the norm, but my friend taught at one such school, and some of the most famous/rich parents are an absolute nightmare!!)

My kid’s HS counsellor said so in a parents’ meeting. Why ia this so hard to believe? Top colleges have their pick of the best nationwide.

If OP’s kid moves to RD, so you seriously believe s/he will be picked up - again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why flagship state schools are becoming more and more competitive every year. Very few people have the funds to pay 80k per year- speaking as a person from a family that makes 300k per year. Technically, we could afford it.

Which schools are becoming less competitive because of cost?

Certainly none with rankings in the top 300 or so, right? I admit I have not researched this and may be wrong but in general it appears true.

If you look at top liberal arts colleges after maybe top 15- maybe higher they are perceived generally as less “competitive” than they were 30 years ago. Ivy League colleges will probably always be okay but not much further.