Pregnant with HG and furloughed: What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Hi there. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my second child and have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG). I'm pretty much on bed rest because of how weak I am, and because the meds I'm on knock me out (necessarily). I'm also currently furloughed from my job, though there has been talk that they might start bringing people back in the next few weeks (to work remotely). However, layoff rumors have also been floating around. I've been debating when to tell my boss about being pregnant. Normally I'd wait until around 20 weeks or so, but I'm nervous about job security and my health insurance that comes with that (my company is paying for my health insurance now, even though I'm furloughed).

My husband and I are also thinking about pulling our first kid out of daycare, but because he's working full-time and I'm basically on bed rest, we'd need to figure out child care. We've been fortunate these past two months to have family come stay with us to help out, but we can't make that our fix for the next six months, for their sake and ours.

I guess my question is: Do I tell my boss now that I'm pregnant and hope that means they won't lay me off (in the last round of layoffs they kept all of the pregnant women on, so I feel like that's a good sign?) and also to just ignore the layoff rumors AND IF SO, do I also tell him about the HG? OR, should I say nothing for the time being and hope my job is secure?

I'm having trouble grappling with a) both going back to work while feeling this way and b) being laid in the next month or two and being 5 months pregnant and out of a job.

Thanks all.

[Anonymous]

I would do the math. How much of your take home will care of two kids take up? It might be better to not be employed in the short term, especially If you are thinking about pulling out of daycare for COVID reasons, then you are looking at nanny / share and those are expensive. You might be better off not working. I would not try to work with a toddler at home and sick pregnant. That sounds like a disaster.

Are you currently taking FMLA / pregnancy disability leave? That might be something to consider and would protect your job

[Anonymous]

Oh man, I think it's great that they kept the pregnant women last time but I am perhaps more pessimistic and I wouldn't tell in case they target you BECAUSE you're pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

Yep. My close friend recently won a case with 10+ other women. They had all been fired by the same pretty small employer when pregnant. It was a clear case of pregnancy discrimination. And the women won big (several years salary)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

+1

I think this is right.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all, I appreciate it. I'm also leaning towards telling him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do the math. How much of your take home will care of two kids take up? It might be better to not be employed in the short term, especially If you are thinking about pulling out of daycare for COVID reasons, then you are looking at nanny / share and those are expensive. You might be better off not working. I would not try to work with a toddler at home and sick pregnant. That sounds like a disaster.

Are you currently taking FMLA / pregnancy disability leave? That might be something to consider and would protect your job

Op here. Thanks for your response! We've had our daughter out of daycare entirely since the first week of March, so we've just been paying since then to hold her spot. But at this point it probably just makes sense to pull her completely, especially since we don't feel comfortable sending her back this fall, and my doctor has told us to avoid sending her back as long as we can.

I'm currently not taking any FMLA/pregnancy disability because I'm furloughed so I don't have to take time off from work because I'm already not working. I'm worried though that I will have to if I get called back to work, and that could be a reason they end up not calling me back ever. But maybe if I get called back, I could start taking it right away to also help protect my job? I'm not sure how that works, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

She would have to prove they laid her off because she is pregnant and if there are layoffs of many people, it's unlikely she could even get a good lawyer to take her case. Some of you are just holding your breath to sue for pregnancy discrimination!

[Anonymous]

So, you want to keep your job, understandably, even though you are basically incapable of DOING your job.

You are why women are not considered equally or paid fairly in the workforce.

I am a mother and never expected my employers to make any special accommodations for my pregnancies.

If you are unable to do your job, why would you expect for them to continue to pay you and pay for health insurance.

How entitled can you be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you want to keep your job, understandably, even though you are basically incapable of DOING your job.

You are why women are not considered equally or paid fairly in the workforce.

I am a mother and never expected my employers to make any special accommodations for my pregnancies.

If you are unable to do your job, why would you expect for them to continue to pay you and pay for health insurance.

How entitled can you be?

She’s furloughed. What job do you want her doing, exactly? Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Employers are often so afraid of a pregnancy discrimination lawsuit that they won’t fire a pregnant person. I think you should share that you are pregnant.

She would have to prove they laid her off because she is pregnant and if there are layoffs of many people, it's unlikely she could even get a good lawyer to take her case. Some of you are just holding your breath to sue for pregnancy discrimination!

Yes and no to the above, but before I dive into that: I'm so sorry that you're going through this OP. It's a perfect storm and it sounds incredibly stressful. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I would wait to tell your employer... If your employer is laying off a bunch of people it will be hard for you to prove that you are being laid off as a result of being pregnant and no one wants to go through a lawsuit. That is a last resort situation and it's not likely to end in your favor given the circumstances that you've described. Also, it will be emotionally wrenching (and potentially expensive). Are you prepared for that? Also, if you sue your employer for pregnancy discrimination you probably won't be able to get a recommendation from them in the future, which could complicate job searches down the line.

I'd tell my employer ONLY if they wanted to bring me back and I couldn't physically do the job. If they can bring you back and you can physically get through it or at least some of it then I'd try that approach first. Also, I know that you don't want to put your family through more than they can handle... but to the extent that you can have family help: have them help! Hoping things get better soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you want to keep your job, understandably, even though you are basically incapable of DOING your job.

You are why women are not considered equally or paid fairly in the workforce.

I am a mother and never expected my employers to make any special accommodations for my pregnancies.

If you are unable to do your job, why would you expect for them to continue to pay you and pay for health insurance.

How entitled can you be?

She’s furloughed. What job do you want her doing, exactly? Troll.

Don't listen to that person. They are crazy. I'd probably keep the pregnancy to myself and only notify my boss if I were recalled back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you want to keep your job, understandably, even though you are basically incapable of DOING your job.

You are why women are not considered equally or paid fairly in the workforce.

I am a mother and never expected my employers to make any special accommodations for my pregnancies.

If you are unable to do your job, why would you expect for them to continue to pay you and pay for health insurance.

How entitled can you be?

She’s furloughed. What job do you want her doing, exactly? Troll.

Don't listen to that person. They are crazy. I'd probably keep the pregnancy to myself and only notify my boss if I were recalled back to work.

Op here, and thank you. I was expecting some hateful messages, and was wary of posting because of it. This is a horrible situation to be in. I'm going back and forth, but you're right -- once he asks me to come back, I'll let him know the situation. Thank you.