Toddler refuses to eat once older sibling leaving the table at every meal

[Anonymous]

My 18 months old can eat a lot but she eats so slowly. She enjoys eating with everyone at the same time. At every meal, she refuses to eat & wants to get off high chair to play once she sees 5 year old is done with food & leave the table. She whines & fusses even though I ask her older kid to stop playing & come back to sit next to her. Even though I keep her company eating slowly at the table, it does not work. She wants her older brother to eat with her at the table but she eats so slowly. The whole day, I keep hearing her saying her older brother name, and that’s the only word she can say & she knows what it means. She sits outside the bathroom when her older brother use bathroom.

What should I do to break this habit that she stops eating when her older brother leaving the table. He4 older brother eats super fast because he wants to play.

[Anonymous]

Just let her stop eating if she wants to stop. Save her leftover food and she can come back to it if she’s hungry later.

[Anonymous]

There is a set meal time, and everyone stays at the table for meal time. If you are finished, you stay and have pleasant conversation. This has the added benefit of taking away the incentive to rush through eating, which isn't as good for digestion.

Larlo needs to know his play time does not start until after "meal time" for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18 months old can eat a lot but she eats so slowly. She enjoys eating with everyone at the same time. At every meal, she refuses to eat & wants to get off high chair to play once she sees 5 year old is done with food & leave the table. She whines & fusses even though I ask her older kid to stop playing & come back to sit next to her. Even though I keep her company eating slowly at the table, it does not work. She wants her older brother to eat with her at the table but she eats so slowly. The whole day, I keep hearing her saying her older brother name, and that’s the only word she can say & she knows what it means. She sits outside the bathroom when her older brother use bathroom.

What should I do to break this habit that she stops eating when her older brother leaving the table. He4 older brother eats super fast because he wants to play.

Set a timer for family dinner; all must stay during that time and your older son cannot be excused until the timer goes off. once timer goes off meal is over. Letting your son leave the table to go play is aching him bad habits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18 months old can eat a lot but she eats so slowly. She enjoys eating with everyone at the same time. At every meal, she refuses to eat & wants to get off high chair to play once she sees 5 year old is done with food & leave the table. She whines & fusses even though I ask her older kid to stop playing & come back to sit next to her. Even though I keep her company eating slowly at the table, it does not work. She wants her older brother to eat with her at the table but she eats so slowly. The whole day, I keep hearing her saying her older brother name, and that’s the only word she can say & she knows what it means. She sits outside the bathroom when her older brother use bathroom.

What should I do to break this habit that she stops eating when her older brother leaving the table. He4 older brother eats super fast because he wants to play.

Set a timer for family dinner; all must stay during that time and your older son cannot be excused until the timer goes off. once timer goes off meal is over. Letting your son leave the table to go play is aching him bad habits

How about a timer, op?

[Anonymous]

My suggestion would be to use a timer that both kids can see and watch. The older brother needs to stay at the table as long as the timer is going and the younger sister knows that when the timer goes off everyone (including her) is done eating. She should not need to eat for a lot longer than her brother at every meal if she is actively eating and not playing.

Start with a time that is somewhere in the middle of her longer time and his short time and see how it works.

It's important to eat together as a family, and that also means brother needs to stay at the table.

[Anonymous]

Can you start her earlier while she is really hungry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 18 months old can eat a lot but she eats so slowly. She enjoys eating with everyone at the same time. At every meal, she refuses to eat & wants to get off high chair to play once she sees 5 year old is done with food & leave the table. She whines & fusses even though I ask her older kid to stop playing & come back to sit next to her. Even though I keep her company eating slowly at the table, it does not work. She wants her older brother to eat with her at the table but she eats so slowly. The whole day, I keep hearing her saying her older brother name, and that’s the only word she can say & she knows what it means. She sits outside the bathroom when her older brother use bathroom.

What should I do to break this habit that she stops eating when her older brother leaving the table. He4 older brother eats super fast because he wants to play.

This will sound snarky - but stop tying the behaviour of your older child to that of your younger one, or vice versa. You’re the parent. If you’ve made the rule that brother can go play after eating, it’s no fair that he has to now wait for his sister. If the rule is that everyone sits together, than that’s the rule. Forcing him to come back because his sister won’t eat after he has fulfilled his responsibility is

[Anonymous]

Op here. Setting up a timer sounds a great idea. How many mins should I set for each meal? My older one can finish his meal in 5 mins, and toddler can finish her meal like 30 mins because she plays & eats at the same time. She plays with spoon & finger food. I spoon feed her sometimes as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you start her earlier while she is really hungry?

Yes, I'd start the younger one 10 minutes before everyone else, while you are still finishing the food for the rest of the family. And then I'd ask your 5 year old to sit at the table while the rest of you eat. He can be done, but must sit with the family. If he is normally up after 5 minutes, I'd go by 5 minute increments. So first make him sit for 10 minutes. Then 15 next week. I'd think about 20 minutes is the longest I'd ask him to sit because you'll have the best compliance. When he's a bit older, you can stretch it longer.

[Anonymous]

This is when I pull out the screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Setting up a timer sounds a great idea. How many mins should I set for each meal? My older one can finish his meal in 5 mins, and toddler can finish her meal like 30 mins because she plays & eats at the same time. She plays with spoon & finger food. I spoon feed her sometimes as well.

I promise you I’m not being snarky but unless your child has special needs you’re 18 month old does not need to be spoonfed. I recognize that as parents we do things to assist but in your case this might not be helping your 18 month old. In terms of a time to eat, start by meeting halfway and setting a 15 minute timer.

[Anonymous]

Why is your DS leaving the table before your younger DD is finished eating? No offense but that's rude. He should ask to be excused -- and he shouldn't be excused from the table until everyone is finished eating. These are basic manners you should be teaching your kids now.

[Anonymous]

Your son needs to stay at the table until everyone is finished eating.

DH wolfs down his food and leaves the table, it's rude.

[Anonymous]

No one should leave the table until dinner is done, this is just common courtesy.