Toddler refuses to eat once older sibling leaving the table at every meal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your DS leaving the table before your younger DD is finished eating? No offense but that's rude. He should ask to be excused -- and he shouldn't be excused from the table until everyone is finished eating. These are basic manners you should be teaching your kids now.

I disagree. “Basic manners” depend on reciprocity, and that’s something that the toddler is only beginning to learn. It’s not a good strategy, IMO, to give a toddler veto power over when other people can leave the table.

I think the strategy that PP at 9:49 offered is a good one: give the toddler an early start. If an additional goal is to modify the older child’s behavior, use the adult’s behavior as a guideline — not the toddler’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one should leave the table until dinner is done, this is just common courtesy.

Also impractical to allow an 18 month old to rule the length of dinner time. If parent is cajoling, Spoon feeding,metc. a half hour later, then dinner is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your DS leaving the table before your younger DD is finished eating? No offense but that's rude. He should ask to be excused -- and he shouldn't be excused from the table until everyone is finished eating. These are basic manners you should be teaching your kids now.

I disagree. “Basic manners” depend on reciprocity, and that’s something that the toddler is only beginning to learn. It’s not a good strategy, IMO, to give a toddler veto power over when other people can leave the table.

I think the strategy that PP at 9:49 offered is a good one: give the toddler an early start. If an additional goal is to modify the older child’s behavior, use the adult’s behavior as a guideline — not the toddler’s.

Yes, but this can be solved by choosing a set time that is in between 5 minutes and 30 minutes. Anywhere from 15-20 sounds right to me.

[Anonymous]

I would set the timer for 15 minutes. Your 5 year old can certainly sit that long.

[Anonymous]

This is a common problem we've had in our family and sometimes still have, and our kids are 4 and 8 now. It works both ways now -- the older one sometimes gets distracted by the younger because he's a faster eater now.

I think you have to just let it go. If the toddler isn't complaining of being hungry later, don't worry about it. Maybe add more frequent meals/snacks to the day so there are more chances for smaller meals.

It will pass soon, and your toddler isn't going to starve.