Thoughts on "tiger parenting"?

[Anonymous]

As described in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm sure this was also discussed back in 2011, but wanted to read the perspectives of new posters.

Personally, I agreed with the emphasis on building work ethic but found a lot of what she described in the book unnecessary (making kids practice instruments for hours, calling her daughter "garbage"). Chua's daughters have both been academically successful--one graduated from Yale Law and the other is at Harvard Law. But many kids who don't have tiger parents are also successful.

[Anonymous]

There are better ways to raise a well-rounded child. Having a child at Harvard doesn't mean they are successful. There have been a lot of suicide attempts by children of tiger parents, nervous breakdowns, anxiety attacks, etc.

Being academically successful is not everything in life. Plus, there are ways for kids to get to Ivy league schools without being miserable, or never allowed sleepovers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Racist phrase

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are better ways to raise a well-rounded child. Having a child at Harvard doesn't mean they are successful. There have been a lot of suicide attempts by children of tiger parents, nervous breakdowns, anxiety attacks, etc.

Being academically successful is not everything in life. Plus, there are ways for kids to get to Ivy league schools without being miserable, or never allowed sleepovers, etc.

Suicides come from depression and mental health issues and partly parenting but it can come from non-involved parents too.

You need to find a balance. Not everyone cares about Ivy's but academic success is very helpful in life and if your kids are struggling you help or get them help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are better ways to raise a well-rounded child. Having a child at Harvard doesn't mean they are successful. There have been a lot of suicide attempts by children of tiger parents, nervous breakdowns, anxiety attacks, etc.

Being academically successful is not everything in life. Plus, there are ways for kids to get to Ivy league schools without being miserable, or never allowed sleepovers, etc.

Suicides come from depression and mental health issues and partly parenting but it can come from non-involved parents too.

You need to find a balance. Not everyone cares about Ivy's but academic success is very helpful in life and if your kids are struggling you help or get them help.

You can be perfectly successful withOUT going to an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Racist phrase

Why?

[Anonymous]

Given that Amy Chua and her husband both teach at Yale Law and are amazingly well-connected even compared to many of their peers, it's astonishing that she went all this effort. Her kids would have sailed into Harvard anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that Amy Chua and her husband both teach at Yale Law and are amazingly well-connected even compared to many of their peers, it's astonishing that she went all this effort. Her kids would have sailed into Harvard anyway.

OP. I don't know if they would have "sailed" in, but Amy Chua went to Harvard herself for college and both she and her husband went to Harvard Law. Legacy status is definitely an advantage at Harvard.

[Anonymous]

I was so entertained by that book when it came out!

As a fellow Tiger Parent, Americans need to understand that Amy Chua portrays herself as crazy, and knows it. It sells. I'm sure her reality was a little more complex.

There are many Tiger Parents in the world, coming from different cultures. My Asian father was very fun and laid back, my White European mother very strict and demanding.

I hold my kids to high academic and musical standards, for the love of learning, not to get them in a famous university. I don't call them garbage. I encourage friendships and socialization.

Parent exactly the way you want, OP. You have a special connection to your kids and understand what makes them tick. You can throw all the parenting books out of the window, including that one, unless you're just reading them for the laughs

[Anonymous]

Burnt out childhood.

My brother and I were raised like this, if our parents (more so my dad) just let us be we probably would have been better off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As described in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm sure this was also discussed back in 2011, but wanted to read the perspectives of new posters.

Personally, I agreed with the emphasis on building work ethic but found a lot of what she described in the book unnecessary (making kids practice instruments for hours, calling her daughter "garbage"). Chua's daughters have both been academically successful--one graduated from Yale Law and the other is at Harvard Law. But many kids who don't have tiger parents are also successful.

Np To me, "Tiger parenting" is all about having a baby and not seeing the baby as an individual person with their own talents, needs and wants. It is all about YOU and how the child will fulfill your desire. You mold and or crush the child's spirit and let them know that if they don't achieve the highest level than you will withhold love from them. Who cares if they have talent in acting or painting? My community will think more highly of ME if my son/daughter goes to Harvard and becomes a doctor! Who cares if they are miserable and want to kill themselves? It is all about ME, ME, ME!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As described in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm sure this was also discussed back in 2011, but wanted to read the perspectives of new posters.

Personally, I agreed with the emphasis on building work ethic but found a lot of what she described in the book unnecessary (making kids practice instruments for hours, calling her daughter "garbage"). Chua's daughters have both been academically successful--one graduated from Yale Law and the other is at Harvard Law. But many kids who don't have tiger parents are also successful.

Np To me, "Tiger parenting" is all about having a baby and not seeing the baby as an individual person with their own talents, needs and wants. It is all about YOU and how the child will fulfill your desire. You mold and or crush the child's spirit and let them know that if they don't achieve the highest level than you will withhold love from them. Who cares if they have talent in acting or painting? My community will think more highly of ME if my son/daughter goes to Harvard and becomes a doctor! Who cares if they are miserable and want to kill themselves? It is all about ME, ME, ME!

Maybe some parents are like this but I don't wants my kids to have a successful academic life because I want bragging rights. I am preparing them to a competitive market, what they choose to do after will be up to them.

My daughter LOVES art - drawing more specifically. While I nurture her love of art by buying plenty of quality supplies and paying for classes, I am very clear that the majority of artists do not make much money and struggle financially. For every successful artist out there who works at Pixar for example, there are thousands struggling A LOT. I make it clear to her that we are not rich and she won't have a trust fund to rely on, and if she chooses this career path, she will probably have a very limited life. It is all about choices.

She excels academically and I push it hard. I make sacrifices to pay for writing/LA and math/stem programs and although I get some pushback from her, I don't care. I feel I am doing my job as a parent to prepare her and once she is an adult, she can choose her own path in life.

[Anonymous]

I’ll say that I think using kumon, mathnasium and Khan academy for the purpose of “getting an edge” rarely works, especially in regards to ms and up. Focus on excelling on all of their assigned homework and tests from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Racist phrase

Why?

Conjures stereotypes about Asian people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As described in Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm sure this was also discussed back in 2011, but wanted to read the perspectives of new posters.

Personally, I agreed with the emphasis on building work ethic but found a lot of what she described in the book unnecessary (making kids practice instruments for hours, calling her daughter "garbage"). Chua's daughters have both been academically successful--one graduated from Yale Law and the other is at Harvard Law. But many kids who don't have tiger parents are also successful.

Np To me, "Tiger parenting" is all about having a baby and not seeing the baby as an individual person with their own talents, needs and wants. It is all about YOU and how the child will fulfill your desire. You mold and or crush the child's spirit and let them know that if they don't achieve the highest level than you will withhold love from them. Who cares if they have talent in acting or painting? My community will think more highly of ME if my son/daughter goes to Harvard and becomes a doctor! Who cares if they are miserable and want to kill themselves? It is all about ME, ME, ME!

Maybe some parents are like this but I don't wants my kids to have a successful academic life because I want bragging rights. I am preparing them to a competitive market, what they choose to do after will be up to them.

My daughter LOVES art - drawing more specifically. While I nurture her love of art by buying plenty of quality supplies and paying for classes, I am very clear that the majority of artists do not make much money and struggle financially. For every successful artist out there who works at Pixar for example, there are thousands struggling A LOT. I make it clear to her that we are not rich and she won't have a trust fund to rely on, and if she chooses this career path, she will probably have a very limited life. It is all about choices.

She excels academically and I push it hard. I make sacrifices to pay for writing/LA and math/stem programs and although I get some pushback from her, I don't care. I feel I am doing my job as a parent to prepare her and once she is an adult, she can choose her own path in life.

If you aren’t rich, why should she listen to you? Clearly your choices didn’t work out well.