Would you let nanny go in this situation

[Anonymous]

Our new nanny has been with us for a few months and we’re considering letting her go for the following reasons.

She’s not happy keeping the kids at home in our backyard and nearby parks and constantly tries to push us to agree to take them on 45min outings one way. She doesn’t wash her hands and touches kids food after they’ve been out. She doesn’t wash kids hands either. We don’t trust her to take kids to nearby parks either anymore because how lax she is about hygiene.

She has a very old school way of discipline where she thinks it will work to sharply say no to a toddler and they will comply. She almost engaged in power struggles with the toddler hoping she will “win”. We have tried to talk to her about our preferred discipline methods (redirect and help calm down during a tantrum while still holding the boundary) but she’s not willing (or able?) to implement this. She’s said multiple times that most people were raised that way and “turned out fine”.

We’ve told her to limit sugar in our kids diets but she still gives them cookies and chocolate all the time. She disagrees and is not willing to implement our dietary requirements which are pretty balanced - we’re fine feeding cookies once a day but not in huge amounts or instead of a meal.

The list goes on.

She’s just the completely wrong fit for us although she is very hardworking, proactive and does get stuff done.

Would you let go of her knowing how hard it is to find a nanny now? We don’t want our children to get too attached to someone who we know that we will let go sooner or later. We prefer to find someone who can stay with us long term.

[Anonymous]

If you are not happy, find someone else.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a terrible fit.

[Anonymous]

How is this even a question? Are you normally so indecisive in your life?

[Anonymous]

She wouldn’t have lasted a week with us.

[Anonymous]

This is an odd thread.
You are literally hiring someone to raise your child for you, so why would you not discover through interview questions any of these obvious red flags that would indicate that her views and thoughts on how to go about this don’t align. Then you would have been able to see the lack of fit and her inability/refusal to raise them how you want.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I would absolutely let her go.

I'd hide the cookies and chocolate just to bug her lol

[Anonymous]

The sugar thing would annoy me the most. Let her go.

[Anonymous]

Do you care more about her or about your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an odd thread.
You are literally hiring someone to raise your child for you, so why would you not discover through interview questions any of these obvious red flags that would indicate that her views and thoughts on how to go about this don’t align. Then you would have been able to see the lack of fit and her inability/refusal to raise them how you want.

OP here. Have you ever interviewed anyone? Hired someone? People can say whatever they want. Their references can even be good if their preferences were different from ours. Of course we did this. She claimed she cooks healthy meals and gave examples. She said she was very strict about social distancing and hand washing etc. She said she was fully on board with whatever discipline method the parents want. Her references turned out to be fine. The first few days she was great but it seems that when she got more comfortable in the job things changed. We spoke with her and gave her feedback and gave it a couple of months to give her a proper chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you care more about her or about your kids?

OP here. I care about my kids having food on the table and future schooling and me not losing my job because we can’t find another nanny in this pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this even a question? Are you normally so indecisive in your life?

OP here. Nope, just during a pandemic where there’s a shortage of nannies.

[Anonymous]

Terminate

[Anonymous]

You seem most concerned about a gap in care. Can you start the search for a new nanny before you let this one go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem most concerned about a gap in care. Can you start the search for a new nanny before you let this one go?

Nanny here. Normally I would say that’s a terrible thing to do to an employee. However! You addressed your concerns, and instead of any change or agreement, you were told off. Also, I do think that you may find it takes a while to find someone.

With that said, start interviewing now. Look for nannies with references who share your parenting style and say she upheld their boundaries. When you have it narrowed down to your top two, give your current nanny her walking papers and one week severance (only because you’re not giving notice, and while she’s a horrible fit for you, she is fine for someone else). Do NOT agree to be a reference.