Separate household safety practices during covid

[Anonymous]

We share 50/50.

Ex is pushing to give play dates to the kids (13/9), she hosts people at her house (even though she says she is socially distancing, etc), pushing the kids to do sports, she's going to get togethers, etc. I am more cautious and don't partake in any of those things and have an elderly person living with me and I am pleading with her to play it safe. Feel incredibly frustrated.

How are folks handling this kind of thing? SOOL?

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I’m sorry op.

I am dating someone who shares fifty fifty. Because his ex is not taking enough precautions, and I am high risk, I am having to social distance from him to keep myself safe.

At a minimum, I think you can argue that the other parent should have to abide by the public health guidelines in your community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I’m sorry op.

I am dating someone who shares fifty fifty. Because his ex is not taking enough precautions, and I am high risk, I am having to social distance from him to keep myself safe.

At a minimum, I think you can argue that the other parent should have to abide by the public health guidelines in your community.

Thanks. Technically she says she is but she is being dismissive of my concerns.

Just frustrating and a vent.

[Anonymous]

Ex DH and I agreed that we would have the same protocols at each house so the kids could move between homes easily.

When one of us wanted to meet someone at a park we called the other and talked about who they were, how they've been quarantining, which safety measures we'd have in place, etc.

We are deferring to the parent who is more cautious when we disagree, so that we are erring on the side of caution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ex DH and I agreed that we would have the same protocols at each house so the kids could move between homes easily.

When one of us wanted to meet someone at a park we called the other and talked about who they were, how they've been quarantining, which safety measures we'd have in place, etc.

We are deferring to the parent who is more cautious when we disagree, so that we are erring on the side of caution.

I admire your setup - it’s considerate and cautious. In the grand scheme of things, I’m sure we’ll all be fine but it’s incredibly frustrating when one does not want to err on the side of caution.

[Anonymous]

OP:

The reality is that even though she technically is following the guidelines, the reality is that it’s impossible for kids to social distance on play dates and if she is going to/hosting gatherings, I guarantee you it’s not perfectly executed. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

My kids are older so it's easy for me to say I would give up custody, but if I had a household member over 60 I would do it, or ask for full custody. Anyone over 60 is at risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

You’re not going to get full custody over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

You’re not going to get full custody over this.

Agree. If ex is toeing the line and following guidelines in spirit, there’s nothing OP can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

You’re not going to get full custody over this.

Then I would offer the other parent full custody. I wouldn't have the back and forth like that if someone in my household were over 60 and the other parent wasn't practicing social distancing. That would be putting a family member's safety in the other parents' hands.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do as its legally allowed even though she is wrong and you are right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

You’re not going to get full custody over this.

Then I would offer the other parent full custody. I wouldn't have the back and forth like that if someone in my household were over 60 and the other parent wasn't practicing social distancing. That would be putting a family member's safety in the other parents' hands.

He gives up 50/50 and he'd probably not get it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I’m sorry op.

I am dating someone who shares fifty fifty. Because his ex is not taking enough precautions, and I am high risk, I am having to social distance from him to keep myself safe.

At a minimum, I think you can argue that the other parent should have to abide by the public health guidelines in your community.

Thanks. Technically she says she is but she is being dismissive of my concerns.

Just frustrating and a vent.

I posted this. One thing I have been mulling is whether it would be safer to have fewer switches. So if you are on a three four schedule, would it be safer to instead switch every two weeks or every month? I think it would be. Then do you have a part of your household where either the kids or the old person could self isolate for at least a week at the beginning of the switch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would offer full custody or go to court for full custody over something like this. I wouldn't share custody with someone who's not capable of keeping everyone involved safe. You have an elderly person in your household.

You’re not going to get full custody over this.

Then I would offer the other parent full custody. I wouldn't have the back and forth like that if someone in my household were over 60 and the other parent wasn't practicing social distancing. That would be putting a family member's safety in the other parents' hands.

He gives up 50/50 and he'd probably not get it back.

Agree. Don't want to go down this road.

As PP says, I would extend stays if you haven't already done so - not sure OP;s schedule but maybe weekly or bi weekly transitions might be best.,