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I am interested in a slower pace of life
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Anonymous
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I have finally realized that despite my type A type achievements, I really am someone who prefers to just hang out more and not be so busy. I am fortunate, that right now I am a SAHM and my children are in school in the mornings and one until 2:00. So I have some down time in between working out and getting things done for the house/family. But I really don't like to run around to lessons etc. with the kids. It seems to fry everyone. And while watching kids TV is not the best of all options, certainly not every day, I honestly think an afternoon or two a week with a movie or kids shows and just cuddling with them is fine. I think I am looking for validation on this, as our society is so geared toward doing more, more lessons, etc.
Thanks for letting me ramble. |
Anonymous
| I think you might get sympathy if you feel that your kids are overscheduled. But if this is about your lifestyle, I think that you can't expect more than to have every morning free to do what you want, at least until you are of retirement age. |
Anonymous
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Ramble on!
I'm not a big TV/movie person, but we spend a lot of time as a family just hanging out around the house and playing - going to the playground maybe - but we don't do a lot of big scheduled activities. I find the idea of putting a 3 year old in a billion "classes" insane. The one time I tried a class (because my friend talked me into it), it was just stressful, for me and my son- who spent the entire soccer class asking when he could go home. We just stopped going. I'm just not the type of mom who even schedules millions of playdates. My son sees his "friends" in preschool. THe days he is there he is here all day. I don't think he wants to see them on Saturdays. And I find too many annoying. I don't want to have to be somewhere at 9am or 10 am. It just interupts the natural flow of the day. |
Anonymous
OP Here: This more about living a life that is slower paced. I love my mornings. Not looking for any sympathy on that front or any other. I am blessed to have them and I certainly realize it. THis is more about over scheduling, feeling like we should be doing things, etc. |
Anonymous
| How many kids do you have? My mom was a single mom and let my brother and I choose one activity to do. So I played basketball in the winter and my brother played spring lacrosse. In the summer, we both took swimming lessons. She didn't let both of us do an activity in the same season during the school year. So it made us choose what we really liked. And the sports teams usually had 1 afterschool practice per week plus a Sat. game. So we had tons of time at home playing outside and watching TV and reading. |
Anonymous
What you should do is really look at what your kids are doing and assess whether they really enjoy it enough. We started my son in t-ball last year, but by the end we realized that he didn't really dig it that much so we decided not to sign up again, despite the fact that "everyone else" did. I understand the pressure. We decided that we would have each of our kids do one activity per week or session, not including swimming lessons (which we think are necessary, at least twice a year). The kids choose an activity they really like -- or none at all -- so that gives them some ownership in the decision. Personally, I think the myriad of activities that people do is insane! I won't do it! |
Anonymous
| OP you make me laugh. Single parent here. I pry my kids out of bed at 6:30 to get them to school/daycare by 7 so I can work from 8 - 5 have them home by 6 and try to squeeze life in around that. A slower pace of life? Seriously? You sound like Cindy Crawford wishing she was prettier. |
Anonymous
LOL. Right on. To the OP, I have relatives who live in the country and it's definitely a slower pace of life. Very quiet afternoons and evenings. Lots of walks in the woods, long visits with neighbors. If you are not willing to move to the country, you can make changes where you are. Take up a hobby that supports slowing down - practice Transcendental Meditation, gardening, needlework, reading, yoga. Move closer to school so you walk there with your kids - a forced 20 minutes of walking together a couple times a day. I'm sure there's more you can do. Just brain storming here. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
That is a mean and unnecessary comment. Anyone can get caught up in a "fast paced" life, whether they are a single parent, working parent, or SAH parent. I know what you mean, OP. I SAH, and I was relieved when my kids said that they don't want any afterschool activities this winter. So, I've been scheduling them playdates, and they love it. It's a slower pace and everyone is happier. |
Anonymous
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I think there is so much pressure in this (American) society to make 'type A' people, and as a result parents feel that they have to put their kids into all sorts of classes, otherwise they fear their child will not be as skilled/talented/college-worthy as other kids.
I work with middle school kids and just last night I was thinking about the insane amount of homework they get. I don't remember ever having that amount of work to do after school when I was in 5th or 6th grade (didn't grow up in the states). All I remember from that age is playing with my brother and friends out in the street or at the park, hanging out eating food, and just fooling around and enjoying childhood. I don't know if it's the changing times or if it's the competitive nature of American society. It does make me wonder though whether I want to bring my kids up here. There is so much pressure from such a young age to excel so that you will make it into a good college - and then work all year and only have 2 weeks holiday a year, which is another aspect of American society that I find crazy, and demonstrating that its values are somehow misplaced. Classes for a 3 year old are a good idea if the child is having fun there. But if it's because of some Protestant work ethic guilt about not being allowed to just loaf around and have fun (and yes, gasp, watch some TV - it's not going to kill your child!!), and instead needing to teach the child dance/music/art etc so that she'll excel in life, then I do think you need to slow your pace and reassess your values and what it is that you want your child to get out of life. If getting into an ivy league school is going to be her life's goal, then classes she should go to! But if enjoying life and learning about the world around her in a more independent, free-spirited way is what you'd like for your child, then you might want to question how many classes you drag her to. |
Anonymous
I agree. OP your life doesn't at all sound hectic. How much slower are you trying to go? You don't want to sign the kids up for activities cause you think they'll be overscheduled? One activity shouldn't do that but if you feel so then wait until summer to do them. Also, if I were you I would consider if my kids would love to be doing the activity or not. You do want the kids to be able to do something they love right? Even if you would rather be around the house cuddling? |
Anonymous
| 10:14 here. And we do a lot of just hanging around the house while my kids just play together. I validate what you're doing. Sometimes it does feel like everybody else is just going from activity to activity, but you don't have to do that if you don't want. |
Anonymous
Then don't. I assume the kids aren't signing themselves up for this stuff. PS - I would LOVE to have your pace. Mornings alone to work out and get things done for the household sounds more relaxing than most of my vacations! |
Anonymous
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I think we owe it to our kids to expose them to different activities, cultural experiences, etc. How much of it really depends on your kid and other family circumstances.
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