Parents who use Father's/Mother's Day as a second Christmas

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have parents who ask for outrageous gifts on father's and mother's day?

My parents are getting on my last nerves. This is a regular thing for them. When I was in college I was told 'your mom would like a iPhone for Mother's day'. I was making minimum wage then. I couldn't afford an iphone for myself, but you want one?

Now father's day is up and I'm comfortable but not 'Your father would like a Rolex' comfortable. Keep in mind my parents have been UMC my whole life and the things they can afford at their current point in life I cannot afford at my current point in life.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably not give them anything but a card if they were like that. That's just greedy and nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have parents who ask for outrageous gifts on father's and mother's day?

My parents are getting on my last nerves. This is a regular thing for them. When I was in college I was told 'your mom would like a iPhone for Mother's day'. I was making minimum wage then. I couldn't afford an iphone for myself, but you want one?

Now father's day is up and I'm comfortable but not 'Your father would like a Rolex' comfortable. Keep in mind my parents have been UMC my whole life and the things they can afford at their current point in life I cannot afford at my current point in life.

Just tell them this. If they cannot accept it, they are crappy parents.

[Anonymous]

"Mom and Dad, that seems a bit materialistic. Nobody I know gets their parents such gifts for Mother's and Father's Day. If you want I can buy that for Christmas/Birthday. Let me know."

Lower expectations and don't let them use guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have parents who ask for outrageous gifts on father's and mother's day?

My parents are getting on my last nerves. This is a regular thing for them. When I was in college I was told 'your mom would like a iPhone for Mother's day'. I was making minimum wage then. I couldn't afford an iphone for myself, but you want one?

Now father's day is up and I'm comfortable but not 'Your father would like a Rolex' comfortable. Keep in mind my parents have been UMC my whole life and the things they can afford at their current point in life I cannot afford at my current point in life.

Just tell them this. If they cannot accept it, they are crappy parents.

Oh I have. We've had conversations over the years about my financial position (I've never asked them for a dime to pay my mortgage, car note, expenses etc). But its like whatever I say just floats over their head the next time we meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have parents who ask for outrageous gifts on father's and mother's day?

My parents are getting on my last nerves. This is a regular thing for them. When I was in college I was told 'your mom would like a iPhone for Mother's day'. I was making minimum wage then. I couldn't afford an iphone for myself, but you want one?

Now father's day is up and I'm comfortable but not 'Your father would like a Rolex' comfortable. Keep in mind my parents have been UMC my whole life and the things they can afford at their current point in life I cannot afford at my current point in life.

Just tell them this. If they cannot accept it, they are crappy parents.

Oh I have. We've had conversations over the years about my financial position (I've never asked them for a dime to pay my mortgage, car note, expenses etc). But its like whatever I say just floats over their head the next time we meet.

"We had this conversation, remember? You guys are a bit greedy." At this point, I'd be more direct.

[Anonymous]

just say yeah, I'd like an iPhone (or whatever) too, but it ain't happening.

[Anonymous]

What? No, I’ve literally never heard of this. It’s insane, I’m sorry OP.

My MIL can be needy about Mother’s Day but more about wanting all her kids to see her, not asking for expensive presents.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand why adults who are not my spouse should expect to receive a gift ever. My one exception is my child to whom I will continue to give gifts when she is an adult. I would laugh at my parents if they expressed those expectations to me. I do buy my parents presents, but not anything extravagant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? No, I’ve literally never heard of this. It’s insane, I’m sorry OP.

My MIL can be needy about Mother’s Day but more about wanting all her kids to see her, not asking for expensive presents.

Same. Mine literally wants the whole freaking day, be damned everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Send the present you want to send, with a nice bore.

If they ask:

"I've always felt that your gift requests were unrealistic for my budget. Especially now that so many people are struggling, I'm not comfortable doing that anymore. I hope you enjoy the flowers."

[Anonymous]

I used to buy my dad a bottle of scotch for Father’s Day. Tell them you can’t afford what they are requesting. Just curious, what do they buy you for birthday and holidays?

[Anonymous]

Every year my perpetually dieting and overweight MIL demands this fancy brunch, where she proceeds to gorge herself in pastry and breakfast meat and potatoes, washes it down with liters of sugary juice, then proclaims it’s nice to treat herself once a year.

[Anonymous]

They can ask, you can decline.

[Anonymous]

My mother always critiqued any card or gift I gave her, and so I stopped giving her any. Now she's lucky to get a "Happy mother's day!" text from me.

Try that. I wouldn't bother discussing your reasons why. If they ask or say they're disappointed just say "I've already explained this to you, so I'm not going to do it again," and say that and ONLY that over and over.