Am I the only one having fantasies of adopting a Haitian orphan?

[Anonymous]

I heard on the news this morning that they estimate some one million orphans. I've been having fantasies of adoption ever since. Is this realistic?

[Anonymous]

Of course it is. Go ahead and good luck! you have a kind heart.

[Anonymous]

I just heard a story about this on NPR yesterday. They're being extra careful due to issues with human trafficking and what has happened in the past (with Vietnamese orphans/Rwandan orphans).

Unless you were considering adopting beforehand, it will probably be quite difficult to adopt anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just heard a story about this on NPR yesterday. They're being extra careful due to issues with human trafficking and what has happened in the past (with Vietnamese orphans/Rwandan orphans).

Unless you were considering adopting beforehand, it will probably be quite difficult to adopt anytime soon.

I heard the same story. You should check the archives at NPR.org to hear what they have to say. But GO FOR IT!

[Anonymous]

No it's not realistic, for a number of reasons.

Perhaps most importantly, you adopt because you deeply desire to add another child to your family. You don't adopt only because you want to help a child in need during a crisis. That is a wonderfully generous motivation, but there are other ways to help children in need - charitable donations, sponsorship of a child (through Compassion International or a similar program), or even getting personally involved with a mission, orphanage, group from a church, and travelling to help. (My church has sent mission teams to Haiti in the past to bring supplies, help with building a school, etc.)

If you already have children, you know what it means to be a parent. When you see pictures of Haitian babies and toddlers with tears streaming down their faces, it breaks your heart and you think about the kind of life you could give them v. what they are likely to have in Haiti. You just want to go there and get one of them. But the desire to "rescue" these children, however noble it may be, is not a good reason to adopt.

Second, adoption from Haiti was already a complicated, drawn-out process before this disaster. It is only likely to become more so as the government is in shambles, records are lost or destroyed, and many children have to be "sorted out" to see if in fact they are truly orphans or if there are surviving relative somewhere who can take custody of them. The children who were flown to Pittsburgh earlier in the week were in the last stages of their adoptions, which had been going on for months or years at that point; they were not orphaned by the earthquake. In addition, there is always a preference toward keeping children in their home country & culture; just because we have more money and resources here doesn't mean we are best suited to raising Haitian children, especially older ones who would remember and miss their country, language, culture, etc. I think most of the children who were orphaned by the quake will remain in Haiti. This is a general preference throughout international adoption, not just specific to Haiti.

[Anonymous]

OP, I like you have thought about it.I have actually talked to Dh about it. He was a bit shocked since we have never really discussed adoption. I am still trying to figure it out and if it something we could move forward with.

Good luck !!

[Anonymous]

Well, I've also had the fantasies, but since I'm dealing with secondary infertility I know how long and difficult a process international adoption is. The Post had a story about a local family that was adopting a Haitian child, but they had been matched to her 3 years earlier!

[Anonymous]

Fantasies, yes. Reality, no.

[Anonymous]

I assume this is being written by somone who has thought about adopting, but hasn't done so (or tried and been stopped) due to the fact it is so time-consuming.

From what I have read, it takes years to adopt kids from Haiti (prior to this) and while they are trying to speed up that process, I think it is only for the families that have already begun. It sounds like - if you can believe newspaper articles - that there are families almost done with the adoption process and the problem is the paperwork has been destroyed. So for these families, extraodinary measures are being taken to get the kids to the familes.

I'm not sure it means that adoption will be easier if you just start now. I think they would be more cautious, fearful that people will want to adopt to "help out" and then have a change of heart.

But, if you are truly interested (and were interested in adoption before), it would not hurt to make a few phonecalls.

[Anonymous]

Please, please, please, please do NOT just "go for it". Try to hold off on making inquiries to agencies during this emergency stage. It diverts resources from the critical work of uniting existing families, both adoptive and Hatian-American.

If you're TTC and/or looking to adopt, I know how painful and frustrating it can be to think there are a million children without families so close and in such immediate danger. It is a huge challenge to be patient and realistic in such an emotional and life-changing situation.

OP, your compassion and sense of urgency can impact children now through support of those on the ground as PP mentioned.

If you're still having fantasies 6 months from now, then definitely go for it in June!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fantasies, yes. Reality, no.

Me too. I mostly want to give big hugs, get them something to eat, and help them feel safe for a minute. I'm not fooling myself about this natural disaster being a fast-track to adoption.

When I was volunteering at Ground Zero, a couple months after 9/11, there was a guy there everyone called Sargeant HuggyBear. He was with a National Guard group, so in uniform, but I don't know what work he was doing. I only saw him in the church across the street, just doling out big warm hugs to people who came to mourn and pray. That's my fantasy... just be the person who has no more "important" work to do than snuggle the scared babies.

[Anonymous]

Go ahead an look into it. Most of the adoption agencies that match you with children in Haiti have offices in the US that are still open and running and will be more than capable of sending you information on how to get started with this process. Adoption agencies in the US aren't involved in trying to reunite children who have been separated from their families -there are aid organizations on the ground who are trained to do that.

[Anonymous]

I always want to adopt every single Wednesday's Child too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always want to adopt every single Wednesday's Child too.

Yes. I feel for these Haitian children. but also please don't forget the many american kids who need a foster or permanent adoptive home.

[Anonymous]

I am having the same thoughts. We have been talking about pursuing international adoption. Just haven't moved forward. I wish there were a way to expedite the process and be able to provide a home to a Haitian orphan.