Am I the only one having fantasies of adopting a Haitian orphan?

[Anonymous]

OP...I can totally relate. I saw a little girl watching every woman approach her and call out "Mama", and sob when not one of them was her Mom. I could not get makeup on my eyes. How I wished, at that moment, I was Madonna!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I heard on the news this morning that they estimate some one million orphans. I've been having fantasies of adoption ever since. Is this realistic?

No. An adoption process is long and complicated. A wish grounded in a daydream may not last that long. See how complicated it is to adopt Haitian orphans.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10022/1030194-53.stm

[Anonymous]

I am having the same thoughts. We had secondary infertility too and this is not the first time we have thought about adoption. We had talked a couple of months ago about adopting a third if we really wanted to add to our family. I agree that it is not something you should do unless you really want to add to your family and know that you can welcome and love that child as your own. While I ponder whether we should in fact adopt a child from Haiti or somewhere else, I intend to give to organizations that will help feed and care for the children. So, yes, I share your fantasy. I can't help but think about what I would want for my children if they were orphaned and all of our family and friends were gone. I would hope that some loving family or Mom or Dad would take them in and love them as if they were there own.

[Anonymous]

I think you should not ignore a call you feel inside. Sometimes in life you get that call and heeding it is what makes your life special.

But you owe it to yourself and a baby to make sure that this is a real call an not some fleeting emotion. There will be time to help. Many, many children are on the streets now and they can't be adopted right now because no one knows whether their parents are alive or dead. So you will have your chance.

So my advice is to think and talk and pray about this feeling. And give yourself permission to let go if it is not really what you are meant to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should not ignore a call you feel inside. Sometimes in life you get that call and heeding it is what makes your life special.

But you owe it to yourself and a baby to make sure that this is a real call an not some fleeting emotion. There will be time to help. Many, many children are on the streets now and they can't be adopted right now because no one knows whether their parents are alive or dead. So you will have your chance.

So my advice is to think and talk and pray about this feeling. And give yourself permission to let go if it is not really what you are meant to do.

Is this my SIL in southern Virginia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should not ignore a call you feel inside. Sometimes in life you get that call and heeding it is what makes your life special.

But you owe it to yourself and a baby to make sure that this is a real call an not some fleeting emotion. There will be time to help. Many, many children are on the streets now and they can't be adopted right now because no one knows whether their parents are alive or dead. So you will have your chance.

So my advice is to think and talk and pray about this feeling. And give yourself permission to let go if it is not really what you are meant to do.

Is this my SIL in southern Virginia?

Nope. It's clearly my born-again friend from HS who now lives in VA beach.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'm poster 9:48. I think this adoption fantasy is totally unrealistic.

In response to the previous two posters, however, I'm offended. If someone is struggling with a question or decision, and someone else suggests praying about it, why does that deserve to be mocked? Only your wacko SIL from southern VA and your born-again friend from HS are crazy enough to pray? I just don't understand why that kind of derision is ok when it's directed at people of faith. Maybe the OP is not a religious or spiritual person, but maybe she is, and maybe that poster gave her good advice.

[Anonymous]

OP - I appreciate that your heart is going out to these children, and its hard to express all the complicated feelings in a DCUM post... but something about "fantasies" and "adoption" in the same sentence really bothers me. These are not puppies. They're children. Sorry if that sounds totally snide/harsh, I don't mean it to...

If you are serious about adopting a child, look into it, think hard about it, and go for it. God knows there are literally MILLIONS of kids out there who need homes. But don't do it on impulse, or after a natural disaster. Its a bad idea for everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm poster 9:48. I think this adoption fantasy is totally unrealistic.

In response to the previous two posters, however, I'm offended. If someone is struggling with a question or decision, and someone else suggests praying about it, why does that deserve to be mocked?

I am agnostic and I agree with you. The mockery was unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

I've had the adoption fantasy. It comes from a desire to help when we see these children suffering so much. But I agree with PPs that if you want to adopt, then start the process, but not in response to this disaster. There are babies from Kenya orphaned by AIDS that need parents too, as well as countless others in this country and all over the world. I don't really want to adopt, I simply want to help the people of Haiti. I contributed to Doctors Without Borders, and I'm collecting personal care products, shoes and clothing from family and friends to send to Haiti through our church. The need in Haiti will be there for a long, long time. Channel your feelings into action, OP, and see where it takes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had the adoption fantasy. It comes from a desire to help when we see these children suffering so much. But I agree with PPs that if you want to adopt, then start the process, but not in response to this disaster. There are babies from Kenya orphaned by AIDS that need parents too, as well as countless others in this country and all over the world. I don't really want to adopt, I simply want to help the people of Haiti. I contributed to Doctors Without Borders, and I'm collecting personal care products, shoes and clothing from family and friends to send to Haiti through our church. The need in Haiti will be there for a long, long time. Channel your feelings into action, OP, and see where it takes you.

There are babies in DC that are taken away at birth and parental rights are terminated. These babies go into foster care and are later adopted, often by their foster parents. There are lots of other children in the foster care system, right here in our neighborhood, that are available for adoption. You don't have to go outside of the country to find a child who is parent-less or who has been struck by tragedy.