FIL refers to wife as "the best grandma"

[Anonymous]

Title says it all. At family events he makes a splash over wife and asks she be acknowledged as "the best grandma ever."

His grandkids have other maternal grandmothers, that go by slightly different yet highly similar names. I feel that if I were to say anything it would be noted that "oh he used her title, the other grandmothers so by these slightly different names."

It seems weird and offensive to me....should I chill out? How to handle?

[Anonymous]

It IS weird and offensive and everyone already notices, so save yourself the mental energy of calling it out. It’ won’t change anything and will just cause a headache. You can say ONE thing ONE time if you absolutely must. You can also roll your eyes to your husband out of view.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should chill out.
I have four sisters. From the time the oldest niece was born we’d all refer to ourselves as favorite or best aunt. It’s a joke. I also tell my many nieces and nephews things like “you are my favorite 9 year old niece,” and let them figure out they are my only 9 year old niece.
How are excited was I to marry a man with two brothers, only one married at the time, and get to be the real “favorite” aunt because I was the only one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. At family events he makes a splash over wife and asks she be acknowledged as "the best grandma ever."

His grandkids have other maternal grandmothers, that go by slightly different yet highly similar names. I feel that if I were to say anything it would be noted that "oh he used her title, the other grandmothers so by these slightly different names."

It seems weird and offensive to me....should I chill out? How to handle?

I'm thinking you could take advantage of "best Grandma" ..! Start by thinking of what you want and then dropping hints of what best grandma's do.

For example saying if you want money for their college funds say to Dad and wife..."best Grandma's always fund their grandchildren's 527 education funds!

Have fun with it! Clearly your Dad is in the "honeymoon" phase and I think it could be beneficial for your family...lol

[Anonymous]

I don't see the problem.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure I am following. He asks that people say “hello G-ma, best grandmother in the world” and “g-am best grandmother in the world, would you like toast for breakfast?” Or when he is talking about her, he says, oh my wife she is so great. She is the best grandmother in the world. The later is fine and could be true even if you have other grandmothers. It could also be false but is ok. He can talk kindly about his wife.

Asking other people to do that is strange and no need to make a declaration about it. Just don’t do anything or say anything.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you should totally chill out.

You're making something out of nothing.

There must be other issues you're not telling us about because it sounds like you are looking for something to be offended or upset about.

[Anonymous]

This is not a battle to pick. Not worth it and will make you seem insecure and petty.

[Anonymous]

Ignore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you should totally chill out.

You're making something out of nothing.

There must be other issues you're not telling us about because it sounds like you are looking for something to be offended or upset about.

+1

[Anonymous]

I say stuff like this too and only mean it as a joke. I’m my parents favorite child! And of course I’m the best mother ever and the best wife ever (there is no other wife or mother though). Chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you should totally chill out.

You're making something out of nothing.

There must be other issues you're not telling us about because it sounds like you are looking for something to be offended or upset about.

+1

+2 Your FIL could be saying "my Drama Queen DIL" but he isn't ...

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is a narcissist and your FIL is her enabler. Let him carry on, its clearly his life's work. When he dies everyone will ignore her as she won't have her cavalry any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure I am following. He asks that people say “hello G-ma, best grandmother in the world” and “g-am best grandmother in the world, would you like toast for breakfast?” Or when he is talking about her, he says, oh my wife she is so great. She is the best grandmother in the world. The later is fine and could be true even if you have other grandmothers. It could also be false but is ok. He can talk kindly about his wife.

Asking other people to do that is strange and no need to make a declaration about it. Just don’t do anything or say anything.

Yeah, if it's like this, I think you just have to decide to put the best interpretation on it. It IS sweet when people who've been married for a generation still adore and admire each other. You will be lucky if your husband follows in father's model and thinks of you this way in 20 or 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your MIL is a narcissist and your FIL is her enabler. Let him carry on, its clearly his life's work. When he dies everyone will ignore her as she won't have her cavalry any more.

That escalated quickly. Yikes.